I am an HR Manager. Every time I challenge one of the male managers when they do something outside policy and procedure …. I am called a stirrer. When I agree with a female manager on a dicision they take …..I hate men.
I’ve just moved to South Africa and every single day I get harassed on the street, often several times just during my 5 minute walk to work. “Hey beautiful”, “Hello sexy lady” and just general objectifying stares and actions. I end up getting scared every time I have to walk past a group of men on the street. The worst was when i was lying down on the beach drying off after a swim (feeling pretty vulnerable anyway in my swimming costume), my eyes were closed and a group of young guys walked past and one touched me on the chin and said “hey” and then walked off laughing with his friends, I felt so violated. I used to not understand it when I was younger, you know, surely men know they are not going to get women by heckling them in the streets, but I realise now that this is not the reason they do it, it’s to show there dominance and the fact that they have the power to objectify women, this is why is particularly happens with groups of men, because they are trying to display their power to oppress
When I was out with my uncle one day. We came upon an old friend of his. My uncle introduced me to his friend. The very first thing out of his mouth was,hey Phillip your niece is a looker she is going to hook herself a real man one of these days.
I work in finance. When my boss asks a financial question he does not believe my answer, but rather follows up asking a male employee. He gets the exact same answer, only this time he believes it? Eventually my boss placed an external manager over me to “improve my performance” yet my work has received praises from auditors over many years while the male manager has costly lawsuits on hand due to mistakes!
I have my husband to remind me every month how crazy and hysterical I get during my period time. For the past years since we being together I have to stand this sexiest coment and I can’t stranded anymore. The thing is that there is times were he behavior is unacceptable and I will not agree to tolerate that anymore. I don’t really know what to do. When confronting him he said I’m nagging and that I just need to wait for my period to end. He is constantly full of excuses for not to take responsibility of our arguments.
Taking a swim yesterday in the pool at my block of flats, I noticed a young (teenage?) guy watching me from his balcony. At some point he went inside but reappeared when I got out of the pool, along with a second guy. They both stood laughing and making loud comments about my body (‘sho, heavy bum hey’) while I was towelling myself off. I ignored them completely and took my time, even though I was shaking with rage and embarrassment. As I walked back into the flats I wished I had taken note of their floor and position as I wonder what they would have done if I’d knocked on their door and asked them to repeat their comments to my face. Probably better and safer for me that I didn’t. I am furious that they feel they have the right to amuse themselves this way, but even worse is that their comments affected me and keep echoing in my head despite the fact that I know I my weight is healthy and my fitness level is the best it’s ever been.
When my aunts and uncles found our I wasn’t changing my surname after getting married, they told me my marriage would fail, I wasn’t committed to my relationship and assumed I must have forced this on my unwilling husband. In reality, he’s totally fine with it and supports me.
Colleague (male) wears a T-shirt with large ‘FBI’ on front and ‘Female Body Inspector’ smaller underneath the ‘FBI’. Gets offended when I suggest it might not be appropriate for work and stops speaking to me, as does his male boss.
Whenever I go visit my parents in the small rural town that I grew up in, many people initially don’t recognise me (I’ve been away for a while, and have made a drastic change in haircut since having left). When they do figure out who I am, it’s shocking how often the first thing they ask is, “Show us that hand,” (referring to my left hand,) “…is there a ring on that finger yet?” Nevermind that I’m busy with a Masters degree – what on earth could be more important than my marital status?
I teach at a high school and use the title ‘Ms’. In answering a question as to why I use it, I was told by the class that it means ‘divorced’. The vast majority of the class was adamant that this was the meaning. Somehow this has become the generally understood definition. So depressing that the title meant to liberate one from being linked to marital status has somehow also become some kind of judgement.