Thanks a lot for this initiative. I guess all our biographies are littered with one such story a day, at least, if you have a very close look. Also mine, that of my mother, my grandmothers etc. Sexism is alive and kicking (literally) around the world, also where I come from (Europe). I’m not a South(ern) African and there are many differences in socialized gender interaction I still don’t fully grasp, so I don’t want to be too judgemental. But the levels of disrespect for a woman’s word and will, in short for her personhood, I encounter here on a day-to-day basis are quite disturbing to me. “Rape. A South African Nightmare” by Pumla Dineo Gqola has made me understand quite a number of things, they nonetheless remain hurtful to witness and to experience. I’d venture to say that – on average – women here (be they black, white, brown, green, orange or blue) are probably worse off than in (Western urbanite) Europe because of three things: decades of racism (and centuries of colonialism) which fostered militaristic and violent white masculinities pitched against anything perceived as “feminine” (next to “black”), a significant number of (emotionally and physically) brutalized black men who in the process lost how to interact with “their” women in non-violating ways, and today’s widespread poverty in the context of millennium-old patriarchy-cum-neoliberal capitalism which boils down to less avenues of real self-determination in life and less real (economic) opportunities to opt out of submissively enduring egos raised (by women as well!) in a spirit that makes it seem self-evident that male gratification comes first. Sexism is that they mostly don’t even notice what they are doing wrong and/or that they can afford those violent and violating behaviours because the atmospheric cocoon of impunity is still too thick and that there a lot of women around whose minds function in no less (self-)demeaning ways. I wonder which one is the most difficult to fight: capitalism, classism, racism, sexism? I guess the distinct evil of sexism is that it subtly affects the very core of our existence, [redacted by administrator] (but I’m not in a position to assess this, I am “white”): the vital need to love and to be loved. I can’t find any other explanation as to why many also well-off women endure horrible stuff perpetrated by their intimate partners or family members for years. Anyway, dear sisters out there, thanks for sharing your stories and keep raising your voices. If a single teacher, cashier, doctor, vendor, passer-by… had raised their voice at the sight of my mother’s bruises back in the 1950s, my grandfather would perhaps not have had a chance of beating her up daily from the age of five until he just suddenly left.

When spending Christmas at my partner’s parents house the neighbours were lighting very loud firecrackers non-stop late into the night. I asked them to stop a few times but they kept ignoring me. I eventually managed to find an adult to speak to me. During our negotiations (of which he was incredibly rude) he suddenly stopped short and demanded that he speak to ‘my husband’. (I’m also a lesbian which made it even weirder)

I am 15, and in Grade 10. I am also a Scout (no, not are “Girl Guide,” or a “Girl Scout,” a Scout.) At Scouts, we have arty activities called STAs (Spare time activities) along with various other activities. My troop had a junior (10-14 year olds) compete in a hiking competition called Upton Shield. We hike from base to base reading off a map, do activities and STAs. The juniors refused to do the STAs because they are a “girls’ job,” and there won’t any girls on the team. It makes me sick that the juniors thought that it was so beneath them to do something that they decided is for girls (which it isn’t), that they would rather do badly in the competition than do the STAs. My second story is from school. Last year (in Grade 9), my geography teacher said that “a teenage boy is more emotionally mature than a woman will ever be.” He wasn’t even joking. He genuinely believed that a 14 year old boy has more emotional maturity than my mother, the woman who signal handedly raised me and my sister. It just infuriates me how someone with so much influence over the lives of children can preach such sexist things.

I used to go to an all-girls school and even though the teachers always told us about ‘girl power!’, etc. we had to ‘sit and act like young ladies’ ie. legs together, back straight and mouth closed.

Ever since I was little, I was always into video games and I was also used to playing violent/bloody games. You know, those ones with killing people with a sword and all that. My cousin (who’s a guy) told me that no guy would like me if I played video games. And then I told my friends about how much I love them and some girl barged into our conversation and said I only played to get boys’ respect!

Every morning and afternoon I have a 300m walk between the train station and my office. It’s not unusual for me to be approached 4 or 5 times in a day, over this short distance, by men asking for my number. Recently one of these men told me that “it won’t kill you to talk to me for five minutes”, to which I had to explain that, special and brave as he may feel for approaching me, he’s actually guy number three on this stretch of Voortrekker Road, and if I were to gift five minutes to every dude who thinks he’s entitled to my time it would take me 30 minutes to get to my train every day. I then asked him how he feels when he’s approached by three beggars in a day, to which he responded “harassed”. I told him that in this instance he was the beggar, but instead of wanting just R5 from me, he wants my time, access to my life, and my validation of his fragile ego.

I find the new “Science, it’s a Girl thing” video offensive, but also extremely sad that society has a need for websites like that (or this) in the first place. I have been cat-called many times. I am 15 years old, and I live in South Africa. Once, one of my male teachers said that “Teenage boys are more emotionally mature than a women will ever be.”