My friendship group is very large with smaller groups within it. All events are organised on the same platform with a free for all approach. One time, one of the men brought along a boy that multiple of them had known from school but few liked or kept in contact with. The boy had very few friends and had been described as awkward. What hadn’t been made clear to the women in the group is his previous behaviours. That time he first came out, he got blackout levels of drunk and acted strangely to the women. He would get very near to us and try to lean his head on our shoulders or just stand next to us staring. Multiple of us voiced discomfort. The next few times he was invited out the same things happened and it was well known that the women of the group felt uncomfortable around him. Many of the men said they found him boring or irritating or weird but the few that invited him said they felt sorry for him because he had no friends. The next event he came to was a festival. After getting drunk again he started shouting about women being bitches. My friend wore a sheet top and nipple covers and he wouldn’t stop obviously staring at her chest. He went into my tent and went through my bag of clothes when I wasn’t looking. I was told he was looking for cups and to not be dramatic. One of my friends tent ripped at the bottom and the two of them sharing it (both male) moved into the entryway of my tent. The man in question didn’t know this. During the night, he snuck into the tent and started spooning one of them and had to be physically dragged out of the tent. Again, many of the men told me that he was just drunk and also that he is harmless and wouldn’t be able to harm us (he is not much bigger than me). He punched a woman in the face and knocked her out drunk previously. Over the years, any time this man has been invited he has repeated the same behaviours. Multiple of the women have loudly and clearly told him no and to leave them alone but he doesn’t stop. He has escalated into touching waists or bums or sometimes trying to get behind us. Some of the men have defended us and others who I thought were my friends have made me feel that they would rather I be silent than have to confront the fact that they are knowingly facilitating and inviting a man who harasses the women to our events. For a long time, I have wondered how anyone can prioritise someone not being “left out” over the safety and comfort of the women there, especially now everyone is in their mid twenties. People who I thought were my friends let me and the other women down. In recent times, he was added to the platform and is now automatically invited to every event. I spoke up and was told that he has told some of the men that he was very drunk every time (over ten times) and that he is sorry. He never said sorry to me or any of the other women. To me it is clear he is someone who feels it is his right to harass women and he clearly has hatred for women. I’ve been more disappointed by people who I felt were friends, who would call themselves feminists, who would be outraged at any man they didn’t know harassing any of us women in a club. BUT who have and continue to willingly turn a blind eye to the harassment from a man they know, from a man they barely even have time for, all in the name of not “leaving anyone out”. Men who bystand, please protect your female friends. Especially when it’s someone you know and especially when it’s harder to face.