The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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s

My friendship group is very large with smaller groups within it. All events are organised on the same platform with a free for all approach. One time, one of the men brought along a boy that multiple of them had known from school but few liked or kept in contact with. The boy had very few friends and had been described as awkward. What hadn’t been made clear to the women in the group is his previous behaviours. That time he first came out, he got blackout levels of drunk and acted strangely to the women. He would get very near to us and try to lean his head on our shoulders or just stand next to us staring. Multiple of us voiced discomfort. The next few times he was invited out the same things happened and it was well known that the women of the group felt uncomfortable around him. Many of the men said they found him boring or irritating or weird but the few that invited him said they felt sorry for him because he had no friends. The next event he came to was a festival. After getting drunk again he started shouting about women being bitches. My friend wore a sheet top and nipple covers and he wouldn’t stop obviously staring at her chest. He went into my tent and went through my bag of clothes when I wasn’t looking. I was told he was looking for cups and to not be dramatic. One of my friends tent ripped at the bottom and the two of them sharing it (both male) moved into the entryway of my tent. The man in question didn’t know this. During the night, he snuck into the tent and started spooning one of them and had to be physically dragged out of the tent. Again, many of the men told me that he was just drunk and also that he is harmless and wouldn’t be able to harm us (he is not much bigger than me). He punched a woman in the face and knocked her out drunk previously. Over the years, any time this man has been invited he has repeated the same behaviours. Multiple of the women have loudly and clearly told him no and to leave them alone but he doesn’t stop. He has escalated into touching waists or bums or sometimes trying to get behind us. Some of the men have defended us and others who I thought were my friends have made me feel that they would rather I be silent than have to confront the fact that they are knowingly facilitating and inviting a man who harasses the women to our events. For a long time, I have wondered how anyone can prioritise someone not being “left out” over the safety and comfort of the women there, especially now everyone is in their mid twenties. People who I thought were my friends let me and the other women down. In recent times, he was added to the platform and is now automatically invited to every event. I spoke up and was told that he has told some of the men that he was very drunk every time (over ten times) and that he is sorry. He never said sorry to me or any of the other women. To me it is clear he is someone who feels it is his right to harass women and he clearly has hatred for women. I’ve been more disappointed by people who I felt were friends, who would call themselves feminists, who would be outraged at any man they didn’t know harassing any of us women in a club. BUT who have and continue to willingly turn a blind eye to the harassment from a man they know, from a man they barely even have time for, all in the name of not “leaving anyone out”. Men who bystand, please protect your female friends. Especially when it’s someone you know and especially when it’s harder to face.

Anonymous

Guys with long hair don’t get asked “are u gay” but women with short hair are assumed to be lesbian Why can’t women have the hair they want? Long hair is too much trouble to manage especially if it’s thicker. Some women don’t want to spend lots of time styling and managing it. Also I like cars not makup, Growing up I played with cars not barbies. Kids should play with toys they like not based on their genitals

Jess

I was walking home from the gym last night in Brighton. On a well lit street, whilst I was on the phone to a friend, and in front of a restaurant, some guy grabbed my arse. I was stunned. I followed him round the corner and shouted to him to come back. I kept shouting at him and he pretended (or maybe this was genuine) that he couldn’t speak any English. I shouted at him some more. When I turned to walk away, he grabbed me again. I was more scared this time that he’d done it again so I didn’t want to get too brave and retaliate. I don’t really have any words, feelings, or a point to make. I just wanted to share this.

Penelope

A male doctor told me I did not need antivirals I requested to treat the infection he diagnosed me with, despite me being a full-time wheelchair user. Subsequently went to a female doctor for a second opinion – they were prescribed within ten minutes.

Anonymous

i’m a server and i have to get pretty close to people to reach over and grab dirty plates and today i was going to this one table a lot because they had a lot of food so a lot of dirty plates. i was reaching over a man to get his second plate and when i was walking away i heard another guy tell him “i guess she likes to smell you 😏” i’m a teenager and it just makes me feel really embarrassed that grown men think me doing my job is me trying to get close to this man and smell him. i avoided the table for the rest of the night.

H

Fell asleep on the night bus after being at a friends wedding all day drinking. Woke up with a guys hand in my knickers and down my bra. Got off the bus in a random place I didn’t know. Had to get another bus home. Took about 10 years to even admit this happened to me as I thought it was my fault for being too drunk to stop it.

Kirstie

The Landlord of a pub I often visit with my family, is unable to serve us without passing inappropriate comment on myself and my 13 year old daughter, invariably related to our appearance. I annoy myself by not saying anything to him and put that down to the fact that he is probably in his 70s and that my contact with him is minimal enough that I can just write it off.

r

My friends and I were collecting a takeaway after school on a Friday. We were still wearing our uniform. When walking back home we heard honks and catcalling from a van. We realised the man driving it had been in the takeaway shop with us. We’re teenagers spending time with our friends after school, why are we getting attention from a middle aged man ?

Niki

I’m not quite sure if this qualifies but I wanted to share about it anyway. Today I went out to my local mall with some of my friends where we were catcalled by a group of boys. We were sitting in a Boba shop and they kept sending us weird looks, they even tried to get our numbers and stuff. It was overall just weird and we decided to leave the store. As soon as we walked out the door, they also got up and started following us from a safe distance. We wouldn’t have realized except we decided to take a selfie and saw them approaching behind us. I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared. We walked incredibly erratically to try to lose them, eventually having to duck into a store to lose them. Again, I’m not quite sure if this qualifies but I wanted to post my experience.

Anon

Told by a male colleague that he doesn’t like my new hair cut because he ‘likes women with long hair… when women play with their long hair, it does something to a man’ We are both school counsellors