I went to a family gathering a few days ago. My uncles and aunts starting asking me if I knew how to cook, clean, etc. When I asked why later, they said that they wanted to see if I could ever get married and the answer was that I was going to be unsuccessful and miserable for the rest of my life because I wasn’t interested in cooking or cleaning. I started arguing with them about the worth of women and when I got home my parents starting lecturing me about respect. Double standards much?
Over the last few months, I’ve been teaching English to business professionals in my city. I have An Honours BA in English literature (distinction) and a Master’s in English from a top U.K. university and some of the men I teach STILL try to undermine me in class. One student continuously challenges me on grammar, pronunciation, etc when he can barely speak English. I get so angry and hurt, I don’t even know how to react. I can’t help but feel he does this because I am a young woman telling him that he is wrong and he cannot admit to not really knowing anything. Another student questioned my nationality (assuming I was Canadian) because I wasn’t familiar with ONE idiomatic expression he just happened to hear. I have two degrees in english, I am a freelance writer and I am sick and tired of men thinking they know everything when i’m an expert in my field.
I am 23 years old and when I prepare for a night out I always have to take a minute and go through my strategies to avoid unwanted attention and moves to dodge men who want to grope me. I have never had a night out when a man hasn’t groped my butt or breasts.
Walking home from my music lesson when I was 15, in my neighborhood, around 5 pm, daylight, I passed two boys my own age on the sidewalk. I didn’t move over to make room for the two of them to pass me and one of them reached out and slammed his hand hard across my chest. it actually hurt a lot but more than that I felt humiliated. I remember walking the rest of the way home crying, hot tears filling up my eyes underneath my glasses. It seemed so uncalled for. I didn’t know them. I was flat-chested, kind of nerdy. I wondered if I had just moved over if it wouldn’t have happened. When I got home I didn’t even tell my mother. This was Winnipeg, West End, 1974. We learn early on to make room so that there is less possibility of something like this happening.
today in school a guy asked me to suck his dick in his language and when i got annoyed and said your disgusting he told me it was just a joke and the next day him and his friends started singing a very crude and vulgar song in his language to me (the lyrics was something about how he is going to fuck me so hard that hell rip my pussy open) and when my friend (who was sitting next to me) had enough and she told them to stop or she’ll do something about it herself they told us that his friend’s brother is in a gang and how they will beat us up if we do something about it. i was 14 then.
at track and field today our coach was teaching us javelin. after teaching everyone (boys and girls, its a co-ed team) how to throw, he set cones up and said “okay girls this is where you’ve gotta get it to” and proceeded to walk about 4 metres farther, set down more cones and say “boys this is how far you’ve gotta throw it”. it bothered me so much, im horrible at javelin in the first place but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that i’m female
There are various instances where I have felt objectified. 1.) in the professional realm of the world i have often been looked at as having the position i have due to “being pretty”. I have had people comment about my appearance over my intelligence on various occasions regarding job interviews or any other professional encounters. 2.) I cannot walk down the street dressed in ANY sort of clothing, whether sweat pants or shorts and feel comfortable anymore. I have a constant disgust inside and slight fear that someone will yell something out to me, or try and approach me. I find it sad that a woman cannot walk down the street without having to think about all of her surroundings and the awkward stares or cat calls. 3.) Taking public transport of any sort results in people attempting to make conversation with you, of course this is completely fine..until it is always brought back to “do you have a boyfriend” or “what are you doing tonight” or they end up somehow invading your personal space. 4.) Telling people off for objectifying you in public or on the internet always leads to “you’re so vain, why do you think people are always trying to compliment you” and “get over yourself” this is unacceptable. Asking to be left alone and not appreciating unwated sexual comments does not make someone vain.
There is a Crest toothpaste TV commercial. A woman staring at a random guy, and her voice goes: “he could be the one, the father of your children… but first you have to get him to say hello”. Since the woman is not allowed to speak, she can only smile at the guy and hope her blinding smile will make him notice her. Luckily I’m not the only one annoyed by this commercial. http://screaminginallcaps.com/2013/07/08/unlike-the-women-in-crests-commercial-i-can-use-my-words/
I was standing with my dog outside of the library, when a man behind me carrying a box, says “Would you be a sweetheart and open the door for me?” I said that I wouldn’t be a sweetheart, but I would gladly open the door to help him, so I did.
A couple of days ago, I was waiting for the bus alone. Some boys a year younger than me drove slowly by, and rolled down the window to yell “CUNT”, and proceed to laugh and drive off. I was obsessed about finding them and penalizing them until someone told me that it was no big deal and to brush it off. That someone was my mother. I’m too scared to go on the bus again by myself. I don’t know what to do.