Sally M.
There are so many stories to tell, and so many I’ve heard, so perhaps I will return to tell more, which is depressing. I’ve actually had men I’ve known, who consider themselves ‘progressive’ even, claim that women should just not be scared/get tougher, or that we’re somehow exaggerating sexism. One person who I had considered a good friend up to that point, but obviously going through some sort of mental break, even claimed that there is a literal conspiracy because women are actually in power and manipulating and oppressing men intentionally. When men claim sexism isn’t real, I tell them this story: When I was 12, in the late 1980s, I was walking home a half mile from my best friend’s house. It was daylight out, so not scary particularly, and I took the route I always did, which included crossing a parking lot and then a field/park next to some woods. As I got close to the parking lot, which I will say clearly, was the parking lot of an American Legion meeting space, so where American Vets meet,I had always assumed this was a place for people to meet and who also like to give back to the community through volunteering, etc., as my Dad was a Vietnam Vet and most likely talked about what they do there. I saw a large group of men, between 5-10, standing chatting about 100 feet from me. I was shy anyways, but had been taught a healthy dose of stranger danger, so I didn’t make eye contact. As I walked by, this group of men with mostly grey hair, so likely in their 40s and 50s, started to cat call me. I was shocked, because I was so young, but also they looked like normal old men, and I had thought would be nice men, were doing this. I was also scared shitless, because I was alittle girl and they were a group of large men, so I started to run. As I ran, they started cracking up. What the actual F? So,yeah, these men, who were probably married with children, who are supposed to be ‘proud’ for ‘serving’ their country, thought it was ok to not only behave that way towards a young girl who was alone, but to encourage and amplify each other in doing it. So, yeah, sexism doesn’t exist and little girls should toughen up and expect to be harassed by groups of grown men. Yes, it was the 80s, but it doesn’t make me feel better when I still constantly hear stories of men using their status or power to excuse their behavior towards women and girls constantly. This was also outside Washington, D.C., in one of the most highly educated places in America. And it continues… I recently heard my partner’s ex-girlfriend’s 16 year old was in her favorite donut shop and the owner asked how old she was, and when she told him, he gave her a slimy grin and asked her to come into the back room. I don’t think they reported him to anyone (I mean, how can you trust ‘authorities’ anyhow, when this is systemic). I feel powerless because I don’t know the story directly and I don’t know who to go to, but I feel like this man shouldn’t be allowed to be in business and be a predator towards young women… It’s everywhere. How do we make it stop?!?!