belittled

Jessica

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So… It’s not often you experience this kind of casual sexism from actual bus company employees. I was on my way home from university for the weekend and using the bus. I had changed my bag from my usual backpack to a hold-all so did not have my official University ID by accident. This became an issue as the ticket inspector required valid student ID with my ticket. This was resolved in the end as I realised I had remembered to pack my ISIC card. However, I feel that the inspector’s comments were inappropriate. He said: “oh you girls and your bags”. I found this very offensive as he suggested my not having the intended ID was due to a fashion choice and not down to the fact I had made a practical choice to pack my clothes in a larger bag for the weekend. This was after I explained the situation to him. I had a male friend present with me during this incident and felt the inspector was trying to gang up on me. Which backfired… I recently had a seperate run in with the man despite having both valid ticket and ID this time… He apologised to the male passenger next to me for the inconvenience of the exchange between us. Charming.

M.M

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My executive manager, sitting in a meeting, told me to ‘look’ him in his eyes and to ‘never to speak’ to my male team leader in the ‘tone’ I used. I was instructed to ‘show respect’ to my team leader, as he is promoting my skills behind the scenes, and I should be ‘grateful’. I was shocked and could feel tears welling up, however, I managed to hold it back (even though I think they could see it). I was angry and disappointed that I apologised like a meek little girl – even though I was belittled and disrespected by these two individuals. I’m the only female on my team with 15 years IT experience. I was under the impression that my work within my team and the compliments I was receiving from business owners, was due to the quality of output. My mistake was to assert myself in a moment I felt safe and respected and part of the boys club. It clearly made the two men very uncomfortable. I now rather keep to myself and continue with the friendly, smiling pleasantries and be the ‘little helper’ they expect and adore, even though they are my peers.