body shaming

Anonymous

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I was 14. I had just gotten my first boyfriend and we were incredibly happy together. The happiness didn’t last as all the boys in the year group started collectively bullying me. I was getting messaged on Instagram by boys I had never talked to before, and they accused me of stealing my boyfriend away from his friends, of being a manipulative bitch, and of thinking that I was better than everyone else. I got bullied for my height and my body. On a school trip a boy told me that my boobs weren’t big enough for any guy to be attracted to me. He said this in front of a whole group of other boys and all of them laughed at me. After I walked away from the situation they spread rumors the next day that I had ran off crying which wasn’t true, and they all said I was sensitive and couldn’t take a joke. It’s been 4 years, I’m 18 now and all of it still haunts me. Every day that I pass by those boys in school they act like it’s all in the past, but I remember every bit of it and it makes me sick to my fucking stomach that none of them are ever going to have to take accountability for the hell that they put me through at the time. I wasn’t a sensitive manipulative bitch with an unattractive body, I was just a girl.

Kritika

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I was born and brought up in a very small town in Kerala. I was a big girl from a very young age (only by body size), and my breasts were bigger compared to other girls of my age during my teenage years. When I was 10 years old, I started wearing a sports bra. One day, a teacher called my mother and spoke to her in private about buying me an actual bra. She said teachers were talking about my breasts in the staff room. My mother took me out for lunch and took me bra shopping. My 11-year-old self was utterly humiliated wondering why teachers were talking about my breasts at school. I was one of the first to wear jeans and Kurti (a typical attire these days in my place). One day a lady who runs a shop on the street came and told my father that all the autorickshaw drivers who park their vehicles at the opposite end of the street were getting tempted with my breasts and so he had to make his daughter cover up her breasts with a shawl. I still wonder what was her actual problem. It’s true I’ve got stares and some weird comments from the group, but I always closed off my ears. Anyway, after the lady’s recommendation, my self-confidence went down a notch and my mother too recommended it was better to wear a shawl than create trouble.

CC

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I work in Japan in one of the top international universities in the country. In a public seminar at my workplace with attendees in the room and on Zoom, one of the younger male staff wanted to ask a question through Zoom. There where a few technical issues with accessing the questions on the chats, so they ended up putting the chat on the shared screen from a different account. On the screen there was something about how to ask questions through zoom, and then a comment about one of the speakers: “X you look so skinny!”. I was livid, one of the other speakers appeared shocked commenting something like “Oh my God he actually said this”, but no one else commented on how innapropriate that was, including older staff present in the room or the target of the comment. In Japan, given that body diversity is highly problematic and there is a huge social pressure for women to be thin and small, it is shocking that these kind of comments are seen as just part of everyday life or are seen as a joke, and women just have to deal with it and get over it.

Emily

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To all the people in my school who would try to sexualise my body, if a person has bigger breasts that does not make them any more or less sexual than someone who has smaller ones! I happen to be asexual and my body-shape is literally nothing to do with my sexuality or orientation, it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t asexual either and does not give you the right to harass and try to touch me. Also why are girls shamed for their bodies and their sexuality no matter what it is? If I’m ace I am therefore a “prude”, if I wasn’t asexual it would be “slut” or something else nasty, it seems being female is enough for some people to give you a nasty label regardless!

Hermione

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Just read a news article (BBC News 10/7/2019) about a medical doctor who was told to “cover up” by American Airlines and wasn’t allowed on the plane until she wore a BLANKET to cover her outfit. There was nothing offensive about her clothing at all, she was wearing a playsuit which wasn’t even very short. The airline apologised but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. The Dr involved believes she was targeted for her race and her body type, which is really unacceptable.

Angry Mom

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I was at my local co-op on a Saturday with my 3 year old daughter. We get muffins and sit in the dining area to eat them together. Once a man in his 70’s says hi to my daughter and that muffins will make her fat. I was pissed, but didn’t yell at him. I just coldly gave him monosyllabic responses to his follow up chatting, which was racist. When he went away I told my daughter that she was not fat and she could eat whatever she liked. Another mom chimed in with the same. If I could go back… I would clap with every word, “YOU DON’T GET TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER ABOUT HER BODY!” Later that day, I sat my baby girl down and told her I was sorry for not yelling at the man. That no one gets to tell her what her body should look like. I had tears in my eyes.

Georgina Spelvin

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The head of my college acting department (a man) told me that since “I was the prettiest girl in my year, he was going to spend less time focused on me” during 2-person scene work. “You won’t have to get work based on talent, after all.” He said this in front of the whole class, and made sure to treat it like a joke so people laughed. I was too embarrassed to ever bring it up to him again, even in private, despite taking several more of his classes over the next 3 years.

Aileen

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Inspired by #TheySaid, except it wasn’t what he said, it was what he did. A boy in my year made a comment about girls shaving, I made a comment back. Thing is, I don’t remember what either of us said, all I remember is him pinning me to the wall and pulling up my trouser leg so he could make fun of how hairy I was. I think we were about 13, maybe 14 at the time. Weird that I only remembered this when I saw that hashtag and started thinking back about my body-shaming experiences. I wonder what else I don’t remember…?

Ana

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When I was 15 a group of guys walked by and made gagging sounds as they passed me. I’ve hated wearing a bikini ever since. Also, Freshman year of high school, being told in front of the whole class by my personal finance teacher, “You’re not pretty enough to be a trophy wife, so let’s hope you get an A in this class.”

N

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The prom awards at my sisters school consisted of “most nudes”, “biggest slag”,”most likely to be a prostitute”, “best nudes” and “most likely to be a lesbian”. Unpleasant ones for boys consisted of “best body” ironically for an overweight guy and “most spots” for a guy suffering from acne. The DJ present actually commented with “those were the worst awards I’ve ever heard” and left early. I feel sick and seriously worried about this future generation. *Prom arranged separately from school authority*