A male friend of my recently challenged a women at work who called him a ‘boy’ when addressing him & rightly so. At the time, I challenged the knee jerk reaction with ‘this seems so bad to you & yet it happens to women all the time when they’re called girls & no one bats an eyelid’. To which another guy replied ‘Oh we’ve started something now’. Now I’m noticing all the time someone refers to one of us as a ‘girl’ & it’s crazy how unnoticed this goes by my male counterparts. I just showed one of the posts on this site (superhero one) to the guy who was called ‘boy’ & he was like ‘true’. I then drew his attention to something someone at work said earlier, an older man who to be honest I’ve had bad vibes from before. He waved goodbye to some colleagues by saying ‘have a good evening girls’. I told my friend about it & said if that had been him, it wouldn’t have been the same, thus drawing attention to my point – we get this all the time. He remained silent. Doesn’t make it right, but it’s good to show someone their privilege.
Today my best friend and I had been revising for our second year university exams at home in our flat in Leamington Spa. We decided to take a coffee break and enjoy the sun for a while at around 4.30pm on a Sunday afternoon. We stopped for Ice Latte and Cappuccino at a new spot. I had been feeling pretty irritated at some of the comments a male friend of mine had made about me “all in banter” (of course), and was airing my grievances. My friend and I took a walk around the block before returning home, as we continued our discussion. “How do you deal with wanting to flirt with someone, even if you feel they undermining or sexualising you?” “Why is it that people assume I only got my internship because I fill some type of “quota”?” we asked one another. Ironically, as we neared the end of our walk, a young man got out of his car to ask us where the nearest Nando’s was. I politely responded and gave him the directions, whilst continuing on my way. Unbeknown to me, this man was not alone, for across the road in two others cars were a group of guys. These guys (about fifteen of them collectively) swiftly all got out of their cars, and having noticed their friend ask me for directions, took it upon themselves to begin cat-calling my friend and I. “Join us for dinner!” “Give me your Instagram!” “Let’s just follow her boys – come on lads follow her”. It felt like I had been surrounded by men in less than thirty seconds – it was like being cornered. I sensed my friend’s nerves – so joked “it’s like they’re the seagulls from Finding Nemo – Mine! Mine! Mine!” I whispered. Whilst it was true, it wasn’t funny. I think the ironic timing of this encounter made me angry enough to come here and write about what I experienced. This happens all the time and it is a small snippet of a larger problem. I’ve experienced this before, and I will experience it again. My mother has experienced it. My baby sister has experienced it. But the point it – It is not okay to shout abuse at a woman because you are part of a large group of guys. It is scary and it intimidates girls. It is as simple as that. I hope they burnt your Nando’s.
Today I was standing in line at COop and happened to be right next to the papers and magazines when one children’s magazine caught my eye. It said on the front “Stickers for boys”. My heart sank as I opened it up and found loads of GREAT stickers of dinosaurs, tools, traffic cones and cars. I can’t stand that children are prescribed their interests, abilities and careers in this way. I am a construction worker and would love a spanner sticker but it has taken me some years to know this.
I remember when i was 14 my friend was staying the night at my house, and we were talking on the phone to 2 boys that were in our year. I cant quite remember how it was brought up but i remember one of the boys making a remark about how he reckoned my “pussy would be as smooth as a baby’s bottom”. I just laughed it off, but looking back now i cant believe that at the age of 14 boys are talking this way to girls. 3 years later, my breasts grew to be very very big (G/H cup), and i would have boys in my year yell comments about them during P.E or come up and touch them as i walked by them in the hall. This one time i stood up for myself when i was touched (coincidentally by the same boy who made those comments) and i was quite assertive in my response but all he did was laugh in my face. Having huge breasts became such a huge part of my life i found myself explaining to people that i hated them. If you also have large breasts you know the daily struggle with them, which is why i ended up getting a breast reduction. i feel sad when i think about the fact that 4 years of torment attributed to this decision (though there were so many other reasons) as this just shouldn’t be the case. At only 18 I’m already worrying about if i have a daughter and whether she with inherit these genes of mine and have to go through the same humiliation that i did. Its more impactful than men realise. Lets stand up for ourselves and for our bodies.
Someone I know told me that a young male friend of hers claimed that, “if a lot of keys can unlock a lock, it means that that lock is a rubbish one but if a key is able to unlock many locks, it is a master key.” By this analogy, he meant a lock to be a woman’s vagina and a key being a man’s penis. As if a woman’s body and what she chooses to do with it is something to be condemned but a man’s body and what he chooses to do with it is a sign of ultimate power? Just, no.
boy in our school said women were stupid and didnt deserve equality because ‘all the influential people in this world are men’ and therefore women couldnt do anything bc we had been discriminated against
I’m in year 8 at school and one of the boys told me to ‘get the fairy liquid and start washing up’. The next day I came in with a bottle of fairy liquid wrapped up and got all the girls to sign a card explaining why we thought he said was wrong. Surprisingly, he has never said it again.