I went to get the car washed today. The automatic car wash wouldn’t accept my card and I went into the shop to ask for help. They told me the machine was broken and I’d have to try another time. 5 minutes later a man told them the same thing. They fixed the car wash.
My car got a flat tire. I got the car jacked, got out the spare, swapped the tire, and put everything back exactly as it needed to be on my own while my husband was at work. I drove my car down to the shop where I have gotten the last two sets of tires on this very car, explained and then gave them the flat for me to pick up the next day. When my husband and I returned the next day while doing some other errands together, the mechanics only talked with him. They didn’t make eye contact with me, direct any questions towards me, and with each question, my husband would listen to them, then look directly to me for an answer. I have taken care of this car on my own for years.My husband knows almost nothing about it. I have done the oil changes myself, I have changed my own brakes, I know this car inside out and yet because there was a man in the vicinity, I was completely obsolete.
I was 10 or 11, and he was 14 I think. It was in the end of the day, I had just come home from school maybe and hour ago. I was at home (brother,sister,father,and my dad’s friend were home too) I was walking down the hoiallway and I had just walked past my brother slightly opened door. When he called out to me, and I had nothing to do so I called back saying I was coming. I pushed open his door, and looked up at him. (He was lying on his bed, but it was a top bunk so I couldn’t quite see him.) he said he wanted to show me something, so I went up closer so I could see what he wanted to show me. When I went up closer I saw what I now know was an erect penis. (I went to a catholic primary school, and I didn’t know anything about male anatomy at the time) I’m not sure what I did, but I think I made a weird face, and I was totally confused. He put it away in his pants and showed me a stuffed toy that he cut a whole into, (I’m sure you can guess for what reasons) Most of the details and the rest of what happened i can’t really remember. Is all very foggy, and I remember feeling icky for the rest of the day, and days after that as well. I didn’t know it was wrong so I didn’t tell anybody. I truthfully thought it was normal. I remember looking at him and seeing him days after, and feeling weird and awkward. Now that I think about it there were other times where my brother acted very sexually around me. One time he smacked me in the bum. There was another times when he asked me to sit on his lap I can’t remember for what reason. I did. And when I sat down he pushed himself against my bottom. There were times he would say very degrading things, and just all around be inappropriate. There are other times Where I walked home from school and I would notice cars going a bit slower when they passed me in my wind-blown skirt. Or feel unsafe when a group of older guys would pass me on the street. It absolutely sucks to feel that way. I feel like i might have selective amnesia maybe about some things that have happened to me in my past because they were to traumatic to have at the front of my brain. And it took me a while to remember what happened. I only remember because I watched the Netflix show Sex Education. And there is a part in the series where Aimee (one of the characters in Sex Ed) gets jizzed on by a man in the bus. (I actually found this site through a video on Netflix’s YouTube channel about Aimee’s story) and it made me think of times I felt uncomfortable and unsafe, or weird. And then I remembered what happened and it made me feel sick. I don’t know what to do to about it. I’m not sure if I should tell someone. The most frustrating part is that my brain keeps trying to discredit what happened to me. Like did that really happen? You did this for attention? Blah! blah! blah! But I didn’t my brother did. He did it because he wanted a reaction. No I’m not sure what you would even class this as. I looked up (I looked this up after remembering what happened to me) similar things, and the closest thing I could find was indecent exposure. But the definition says it’s when someone displays sexual organs in a public area where it is not wanted. And I’m thinking in my head, well that didn’t happen to you jazz, it wasn’t in a public place, and maybe you did want it. I didn’t even know what a fucking penis was for crying out loud. what happened to me was wrong, and it is wrong. And also the thing is is that my brother was 14 when he did that to me, would he even have punishment or consequences at that age. And as a women I am conditioned to go. Oh well he was just young and dumb. And that it was a boy being a fucking boy. I am done. This needs to stop. I am horrified at what I have come to realise about the world at this time of writing this I am 14. At one of the things that makes me so mad is that no one knew. No one asked me while I was weird around him. No one knew what head done. That’s what sucked the most I felt fully alone. And now I know that I am not. That that feels so good. 😉 Ps, sorry this was so long. I just needed to get it off my chest.
Was sat in traffic with the window down and my car radio on, when this man in a white ran, at about 35 years old, facing the other direction starting looking me up and down. I looked away and pretending to be looking at something in my mirror to discourage him when he said “traffics bad isn’t it? So, you from round here?” I pretended I couldn’t hear him and he just shouted the same louder. I replied telling him I was 18 and had a boyfriend (even though I don’t). He started shouting something just as my lights turned green just luckily got to drive away. I was continually looking over my shoulder whilst doing my shopping, (even though it sounds stupid) as I was scared he might have followed me.
Was sat in traffic with the window down and my car radio on, when this man in a white ran, at about 35 years old, facing the other direction starting looking me up and down. I looked away and pretending to be looking at something in my mirror to discourage him when he said “traffics bad isn’t it? So, you from round here?” I pretended I couldn’t hear him and he just shouted the same louder. I replied telling him I was 18 and had a boyfriend (even though I don’t). He started shouting something just as my lights turned green just luckily got to drive away. I was continually looking over my shoulder whilst doing my shopping, (even though it sounds stupid) as I was scared he might have followed me.
I am 17 years old, which I feel is pretty important to make clear first of all. I was at the traffic lights during the 10 minute walk to my friends house. When the lights were on green, I turned to the line of traffic stuck on red behind me. Bearing in mind it was 24 degrees so I was wearing ankle boots, black shorts which were in no way tight or revealing, a black top and a denim jacket; turning around, there was a line of three cars all hurling comments at me. The first had a man looking in about his 40s, licking his lips and shouting at me. I couldn’t see the others in the two cars behind him, but I heard comments such as “I’ll rip those shorts of you b*tch”, “Jump in and I’ll give you a ride”, and the standard comments of “s**t” and “w***e”. I was stood there for only 20 seconds. When I got to my friends house I burst into tears about the whole situation. This was 3 weeks ago… it has happened repeatedly since then.
I found this nice bit of casual sexism on a car maintenance forum: “I drive a 1984 oldsmoblie as my everyday driver. Being a female, I’m pretty clueless about cars.” WTF?! Being female doesn’t make you automatically (no pun intended) clueless about cars! I’m sure there are a lot of female mechanics/car enthusiasts who would disagree strongly with that assertion! A depressing example of ingrained sexism & gender stereotyping. https://community.cartalk.com/t/my-cranky-1984-oldsmobile-wont-start/25607