Catcalling

Canal creeps

|

I was jogging on the canal yesterday evening with music playing loudly through earphones. Two men were walking in the opposite direction to me and I anticipated some kind of interaction as they were walking in the middle of the path and I sensed some kind of attitude. When I neared them started making kissing faces at me and saying something I couldn’t make out fully about how I looked. Without turning around, I yelled that I couldn’t hear them, which was true, to which they yelled something back which I again couldn’t hear. I carried on jogging away but then became nervous that they might follow me. As my route meant I ultimately had to return the way I came I considered changing it to avoid having to go past them. I didn’t and luckily didn’t bump into them again.

May

|

I used to walk past a shop everyday on my way to the supermarket, where a group of man was always hanging around in front of the entrance. One of the men spoke to me every single time I walked past saying ‘Hi beautiful, how are you?’ in a very flirty manner. Not once did I reply or even looked him in the eye. After months of hearing his comments and feeling his staring eyes for every single day, or sometimes even a couple of times per day I had enough. I asked him directly but politely if he could please stop harrassing me and that it was very annoying. After that he never bothered me again. Proud of my little victory I shared the story with a (male) friend, on which he responded: Why did you have to be so bitchy to him, maybe he didn’t mean it like that.

Amy

|

To be honest, I live a pretty sheltered life. I’m 17, I don’t tend to leave the house a lot, I don’t party and I was home educated for the majority of secondary school. Even so, I still have stories to share about times I’ve been sexually harassed (not including the classic “show us your tits!” calls from passing cars nor the coercion into carrying out sexual acts that I didn’t really want to do). First time, I was about 13. I was out for a jog at dusk with a group of my friends (ranging in age from 13 to 11). We were running in the streets of my estate when this guy in a red van drove up behind us, sounding his horn at us. We ran off and he followed us, cornering us in a cul-de-sac while he drove up towards us. We got round his van and ran off, only to find that he had followed us once again, still sounding his horn. I was absolutely terrified but back then I thought that it was really our fault for being out at dusk. For that reason it went unreported. Second time I was 16 and at a friend’s house. It was night time, and she and I had gone outside on her doorstep to wait for my ride home. This car with two men in it drove up to the front and slowed to a crawl outside the gate. They started calling stuff at us, and although I didn’t hear what they were saying, I’m pretty sure they were trying to get us into their car for sex. We ran back into the house and I didn’t catch their registration, so the incident went unreported like the last one. Most recent time was at school. I had a male acquaintance through my GCSE years and he had a certain habit of making sexual jokes. The first time he made me uncomfortable was when he tried guessing my bra size, but I laughed it off because he was just “like that”. Last year, however, his comments started getting more obscene and more focused on me in particular – at one point in biology class he made a joke about me “swallowing his proteins” (clear implication) which left me feeling sick and violated. He also mouthed obscene song lyrics such as “f*ck me, f*ck me” while looking me in the eye. It upset me to the point that it gave me nightmares. And naturally, when I told him to lay the hell off all he said “jeez sorry”, and proceeded to block me on social media, as I was at fault for complaining. On the bright side though, he did actually lay off.

Rose

|

when this happed to me is was 14 years old and hadn’t even reached puberty yet. i was biking to school alone because my friend was sick. and a group of 5/6 guys with scooters yelled at me “nice ass” i wanted to ignore it because it scared the living sh*t out of me, and i heard about things like this happening before. when i ignored them they starded yelling stuff like, “fucking react” “yeay, bike harder bitch” “we’ll get you”, they were 5 years older than me, whith more people and they had scooters while i had a bike. i was shaking the rest of the ride to school. when i aksed my friends if they ever had something like that pretty much all of them did

Charlie

|

Have been living in my new house for only a few weeks, and to catch the bus to work or go to the shops I have to walk past this car wash, no way to avoid it. At first I thought the guys working there were just being friendly to new neighbours, but since then I’ve been catcalled and ogled every day. They don’t even make any attempts to hide the fact they are staring at my breasts, bum and legs; it’s like they assume it’s their right to do it and they know they won’t receive backlash. I told my partner how it makes me feel dirty, unsafe and uncomfortable even going out for milk and bread and he suggested I call 101 or report them to Trading Standards. I don’t think that would get any reaction, because I’m just a woman and this is guys being guys. I can’t keep complaining about it because I’ll just look whiny and stupid but I’ve been severely sexually assaulted before and being believed/taken seriously is something I can’t take as writ.

Hannah

|

I am a 21 year old student in Antwerp. It was a hot summer evening. I was in the kitchen with a roommate on the downfloor of our appartment. The window was open and 3 men were sitting across our building and looking inside and were waving at us and saying hello. I had to close the window because I thought It is already inappropriate to bother me on the street but even in my own kitchen? I waved them goodbye because I wanted to show courage. Then I went for an evening walk. On my way four men drove by in the car and shouted inappropriate things to me, I looked straight ahead and waved goodbye as well. They seemed to enjoy it. I was sooo furious and uncomfortable at the same time. Later that walk there was another men making kissing noises. I didn’t react anymore. And he had already walked by too fast. 5 min. later a man on the front of his house wished me a good evening form across the street. I looked as straight ahead as I could. Because even though a good evening might be innocent I could feel by the way he looked at me, that he wouldn’t say goodbye to a man, or an older woman, but because I was a sexual walking object he felt he had the right to bother me. And when he saw that I didn’t respond, he got mad! He said really loud; GOD, really?! I have talked about this with two friends and one friend tells me to be quiet and to look ahead and another friend would just call them a monkey out loud and make him really embarrassed in front of the whole street. I wished I wast that confident but I found something in the middle. I make a gesture that says that they need to shut up or that they talk to much with my hand. So far so good. Sometimes they laugh it away but hey, I am a beginner at this and it feels better then to simply take it. The waving doesn’t really work because then they really think I want to get in touch. (not saying sorry for spelling mistakes because I am really trying to be less apologetic)

Lucy

|

Almost every day when walking on the street, no matter what I am wearing, where I am going, or the time of day, I get catcalled in some way or another. Sometimes it may just be men jeering to on another as I walk by or honking from their cars. But other times there are comments and gestures of a sexual nature. Sometimes it has even been young boys, younger than me (I am 18). Which shows that the issue is not just regarding the older generations who were ‘brought up in a different time’. It is a current, on going issue that is not going to go away.The fact that young boys today are taught that this OK to do shows just how relevant the issue is in todays society. Teach young boys to respect women and girls, rather than teaching young women to fear men and boys.

Emma

|

I remember one of the first times I was catcalled. I was walking down my street, which is a main road, towards our local sports centre. I was nearly 15 years old. Some guys in a car drove past and yelled “you’re looking hot today!”. Fast forward to when i was 16, and i was walking to meet a friend. I passed a 50 something year old man who was sitting in a bus shelter and he looked at me very creepily and said “hello gorgeous!”. Fast forward again to when I was 18 and I was walking and talking and laughing with my 3 best girlfriends. We were walking fast so we didn’t miss our train which was in 2 minutes. We passed 2 older men in tradie uniforms, and when we walked passed them, they said “at least say hello ladies!”. I’ve been spoken to and yelled at by men inappropriately so many times that I’ve lost count, and because it has always seemed like the ‘norm’, I don’t remember half of them. But every single time a man decides to make comment about my body as if I am an object and not a person, I get the same feeling of disgust, terror and shame, I go red in the face, I feel tears in my eyes, i can’t make eye contact with passer-bys and I feel very, very unsafe, and not in control of my own body. The thing is about catcalling, it makes you feel out of control and out of possession of your own body. People who catcall women treat them like objects, whose body is for them to look at, comment on, drool over, talk to their mates about. It makes me feel ashamed of my own body. When I get dressed every morning, the unwanted thoughts of “but is this too revealing? will it attract cat callers? maybe I shouldn’t wear it just in case I get harrassed…” cross my mind. I wish men understood this. Catcalling is NOT ok and has to stop now.

M

|

1. Various catcalling and verbal slur incidents throughout my life – cannot count all the times from when I was younger. One more recent in the middle of the day on a busy main road when a bin lorry curb-crawled next to me and bin men hung out the window. It was very frightening and I did report it to the council straight away, but unfortunately was too shocked to take a picture of the lorry at the time. Will change to the other side of the road if I meet a group of men and I am on my own, especially evening and night time. 2. A girlfriend and I was out in town for a few drinks a few years ago, and were walking back through a busy street when we met a drunk guy on his own and unknown to us, who totally unprovoked staggered towards me and tried to kick me (!). He missed and we ran away. Didn’t report. 3. An older man (at least 3 times the size of me) from the street where we used to live knocked on the door to ask about something, and suddenly forced himself on me and gave me a hug and a kiss. Didn’t report. 4. A man I bought a computer from (off an ads page), when picking it up and after paying, pushed me up against the wall and tried to come on to me. Managed to get away. Didn’t report. 5. Holiday in Florida, busy Miami beach, a man is sat turned towards me with his legs apart and his hands inside his shorts, masturbating while trying to make eye contact with me. Didn’t report. 6. Father-in-law who generally is lovely man, but sadly often make sexist jokes, about ‘women’s place in the kitchen’, lots of ‘marriage/wife’ jokes where it’s always about how wives are trapping men, etc. He says it is just a “joke” and he is only “winding me up”. Mother-in-law told me once she thought my husband should “treat” me to a tumble drier… She also uses language about our future holidays where I am always constructed as passive (“he should take you there”, instead of “you guys should go there”). We both drive, earn a living, and I have a PhD.

S

|

One day last summer, a group of my friends and I (about 6 of us, ages 13-16) decided to walk a block in 80-90 degree weather to get ice cream. As we were walking, a man rolled down the passenger window of a car that was passing by and yelled “sit on my face!” at us. Then a few weeks later, I was wearing shorts because it was around 90 degrees, walking with my sister (12 at the time) in what is considered to be a safe, wealthy neighborhood. A man rolled down his window and shouted at me “hey, take off those shorts and wear me instead!”. . .