Child

Elie

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I have a few, might write some others later but here’s one. When I was around 12 I played for a mixed gender cricket club- I was the only girl though. One week when I went to training there was a new coach, male. We started playing and then it was my turn to bat, with the new coach bowling. I walked up and he said “don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you” with the sort of encouraging smile you might give to a very small child. I felt a sort of indignation and managed to hit the ball very hard over the boundary, at which point he sort of turned to some of the boys and went “oh, she’s alright” then looked back at me and told me “well done sweetheart”. I just felt patronised, and the condescending manner he spoke to me just made me feel so unimportant. Don’t speak to women or girls like this please guys

stop sexualising children

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A 14 year old girl at my school was told by a teacher that they could “see her ass” when she was wearing a skort. This is school uniform, so there was nothing she could do about it anyway, and the male teacher had clearly been looking at her body in a sexual way. It’s extremely disturbing, especially in an all girls school, when someone is sexualised in this way by an adult. She should be able to wear what she wants without being stared at like that. The girl was crying after this. Their class defended her but another male teacher was on the side of the teacher. Then, the school uniform policy was changed so that all of the us have to wear leggings under our skorts. It’s nearly summer, so not only is this extremely sexist, but very hot too. I cannot imagine boys being treated in this way. The teacher in question later said to his class – “If you skorts are that short, what else am I supposed to look at?” [redacted by administrator]

Kate

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My family and I was staying with my grandparents in Ireland over the holidays. I was making an apple pie in the kitchen. My grandparents local preist (they’re catholic) came by to say hello and have a chat. When he saw me he said “what a good girl. Every woman needs her training behind the sink. I suppose I can’t say that nowadays. * laughter *” I didn’t say anything, my grandparents didn’t notice, my parents weren’t there. He was well into his 60s or even late 70s I’m not sure, I was 12.

Jaigne

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I found this website when I was watching “Sex Education – A Conversation About Sexual Assault” on youtube. I cried as I was watching that and I thought maybe I could share my story too. I was sexually assaulted in a public vehicle when I was thirteen. It was afternoon and I was coming home from school practice. I was wearing a long skirt and a fitted t-shirt. I remember the guy who sat next to me was wearing sunglasses, a black v-neck t-shirt, and his face almost white. At first, I thought he was handsome. I was holding on to this bar in the ceiling and I was resting my head on my arm because I was tired. I felt something rubbing my chest and when I opened my eyes, this guy was staring at me. I didn’t know what was happening, but it just felt weird so I moved away. But every time I did, he got even closer to me. I wasn’t feeling scared or anything, I was just annoyed and confused. I didn’t even bother to look down to see what he was really doing, I could just feel something was going on. I stared at him and he stared back at me like nothing’s wrong. I felt relieved when he banged his head up the ceiling when he got off the vehicle. And then the passenger in front of me said something like, “Hey, are you okay? That guy was doing something to you.” I didn’t know that ‘something’ meant ‘sexual assault’, I just thought that it was some ‘weird touching’. Like, if strangers touch your hair without consent. And then the person added, “I was gonna kick him if I saw you cry.” I thought, ‘why would I cry?’. I tried to process what happened when I got home. I couldn’t tell anyone yet because I wasn’t even sure of what happened. When I finally thought things through, I realized that what happened was bad. I was sexually assaulted. That one incident evolved from some memory when I was a kid into a scar, or some kind of trauma once I became aware of what it really was. It became something so ugly that I wanted to hide. I thought that the passenger who ‘almost came to my rescue’ was kind, but now I think ‘if you knew what was happening, why didn’t you stop it? Why would you wait until I start crying?’ After that, I began to rethink everything that happened in my childhood to see if there were also other cases I overlooked. There was a lot. I always feel like it’s my fault I didn’t catch it sooner. I feel like it’s my fault I was ignorant about what’s considered as ‘sexual assault’ and what’s not. Because if I was just smarter, I could’ve called them out. Maybe I could’ve told someone and prevented any of them from happening to me.

Charlotte

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When I was about 10 years old, I would go to an after-school club everyday and wait for my mum to finish work. One day I was sitting down in the crowded play room, and two boys came up behind me. They were around my age. The younger of the two held my arms behind the chair, and the other felt my small breasts over my top. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was forceful and I was speechless. They immediately ran off, and I felt violated. I knew what they had done was wrong, so I told one of the adults who was watching the room. She confronted the boys, and I was asked some questions. I don’t know if they ever told my parents, and I can’t remember if I told them either. I am now 28, and remember it vividly. It strikes me as so unnerving that boys so young picked up that behaviour, and worked together to “feel me up”. I’m glad I reported it then, but when you’re an adult, it’s not so easy to tell on people. I’ve been wolf-whistled at in the streets, had my arse slapped, had the back of my belt tugged when I bent over…but I brushed them all off and called them all perverts in my head. Short of wearing a body camera, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that reporting this behaviour will result in anything, but I’ll certainly teach my kids, when I have them, that it isn’t ok. Maybe, after reading some of these stories, I’ll find the words to say to the next creep who thinks it’s normal to treat me like that.

H

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I was walking home from the supermarket on Sunday afternoon. I was almost at my flat when an estate-type car drove past slowly. I looked up when I heard a child’s voice shout “sexy” at me to see a boy of no more than 7 holding my eye contact and “suggestively” kissing the air in my direction. The driver and the only other passenger in the car, I presume his father, carried on driving. I watched them drive away, jaw hanging open.

Hermione

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Once in school when I was 11 I began to tell some boys off because they said they wouldn’t hit me because I was a girl. I told the they were being sexist and that they should be just as willing to hit me as any boy. I told them the reason they shouldn’t have hit me is because it was the wrong thing to do. Not because I was a girl, but because I was a person. They laughed at me for being a feminist and said I thought girls were better than boys. I told them I thought everyone should have equal rights. That’s what a feminist is someone who wants equality for ALL, regardless of any stupid stereotype or class. They continued to laugh and I remember wondering if it was wrong to be a feminist because the word female is in the name. A few years later a similar situation occurred. I came back with the same reply. Yet again I was laughed at and asked if I was a feminist. I simply hung my head in shame. The worst bit, I didn’t even think of it as wrong until now reading other posts. Right now the only thing I am ashamed of is that II didn’t give those idiots a piece of my mind. It is horrifying that something like this would happen to a child and even more awful that I believed it was acceptable.

Angry Mom

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I was at my local co-op on a Saturday with my 3 year old daughter. We get muffins and sit in the dining area to eat them together. Once a man in his 70’s says hi to my daughter and that muffins will make her fat. I was pissed, but didn’t yell at him. I just coldly gave him monosyllabic responses to his follow up chatting, which was racist. When he went away I told my daughter that she was not fat and she could eat whatever she liked. Another mom chimed in with the same. If I could go back… I would clap with every word, “YOU DON’T GET TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER ABOUT HER BODY!” Later that day, I sat my baby girl down and told her I was sorry for not yelling at the man. That no one gets to tell her what her body should look like. I had tears in my eyes.

Nadika

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It was my 12th birthday, my mom gave me a silk sleeves shirt that I wanted as a present. For a young girl the silk feeling was amazing. We went to have a lunch with my family and when we were at the restaurant my father asked me if I could go back to the car to get to get his wallet (I was supposed to find another present there) so I went outside and a man approximately in his 30s told me stared at me and told me “do you know that your titties are the most delicious candy?, I’d love to lick them” apparently my new blouse accentuated my tiny child boobs. I was horrified!!!! I was a child and I never heard any sexual comments at home, no need to say I never imagined my body was considered as something to be looking at. I cried the entire way back to the restaurant, and I could never told my parents what happened. This is the first time I share this story. :’(

Rey

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This is the first time I remember experiencing sexism. I would have been four or maybe five – I was at school and we were drawing our favourite soft toy with coloured chalk. I was sitting next to a boy who looked over at my work, and saw what colours I was using (red and yellow). He turned to me (and as I said I was four or five so I can’t remember the exact words) and tells me that I should only be using “girl colours”, meaning pink and purple. Of course, because I was so young I didn’t contemplate it much, but I remember thinking: “Why are there only two girl colours, while the boy colours are the whole of the rest of the box? And why can’t I use them?”.