clothes

Michael

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As a father, I have struggled with protecting my children from sexism. When my daughter was a newborn (until the age of 2) I had trouble convincing my colleagues, friends, and family, that it did not matter what color her clothes was. She was a baby and did not care what she wore. But they all insisted she needed to wear “pretty dresses.” I work hard to find “dolls” for my daughter that did not promote the sexuality of the female body– and I have worked equally hard to convince my son that his super hero figures are “dolls” as well. But what I have found particularly troubling was that the people who seemed fine with allowing my baby daughter to wear “boy” clothes (or whatever it was) when she was a baby, were not OK when I wanted my baby son to wear those same clothes. This includes my wife.

Lakeshia

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My friend — a married mom — gave my daughter a pretty dress. It was a little too suggestive for our preferences, and isn’t something she would normally wear. “Go ahead!” said my friend, “it’s just pretty, and so are you!” So, since it was a special gift from them, and since there was a special occasion, then I told my daughter it was okay to wear the dress to their house. My daughter wore that dress on one occasion only — my friend’s son’s birthday party. Later, my friend said to me that my daughter should make sure to tell all the boys her age so that they won’t make a mistake. What? Why? What sort of mistake would they make? Are they planning to rape her if she’s old enough? Why is this my daughter’s responsibility? I said that my daughter would be responsible for herself, and she is not responsible for their behavior. The boys are responsible for their behavior. Or, is she insinuating something else about my daughter? When I asked her about this, she back pedaled and said, well, maybe not your daughter, but you know, girls should let boys know their age so they won’t get in trouble. … What? Also, why did she give my daughter this dress and then suggest that she’s “too” attractive in it? My daughter is very modest, but why is that her responsibility, anyway?