emotional labour

G Edwards

Normally at work we hold money collections for people’s birthdays. The birthday of one of my female colleagues had been forgotten. A guy who used to sit opposite me pipes up to the team (in which I was the only woman present at that time), “We’re never going to remember anyone’s birthday because there are no women on the team!” I felt very surprised and had no idea that remembering birthdays was a woman’s task.


Just met up with someone who is a friend – not a long-time friend, more of an acquaintance. I consider him a decent guy, but he just spent the whole hour and a half talking about himself. There was not one question about how things were going with me, it was all about him. He wasn’t stressed about anything, so it wasn’t a situation where sometimes you just need a listening ear to talk things over, he was just talking about his life, his ideas, his plans. I mean really, what was in that for me? I’m just exhausted and annoyed, I won’t bother with him again. It seems like the only time men (pretend) to listen to women is when they think it might help them to get you into bed, and even then they can barely manage to keep up the artifice. Men never assume that a woman is more intelligent than them either, so they sit there rattling off their opinions with confidence on something they know next to nothing about, even if the woman they’re talking to has a degree in the subject – at least I’ve met few men who do otherwise.