father in law

Person

Every time my husband’s father hurts himself, he tells me how I’m going to have to help him. This last time he got something stuck in his foot and he left it for two weeks until he was pretty sure it was infected. He started off the way he always did “Hey. I need to borrow…” and he’d name the tool. This time he wanted a needle. Being the only woman in the house, I definitely have those, right? So I went and got the tweezers and told him that he could borrow those. Before I can leave he complains about how you can’t really dig into your foot with tweezers and how deep in there it was. “You’re probably going to have to dig it out.” he says. He doesn’t ask. He doesn’t imply. He directs me. When I told him that there was no f*cking way I’m doing it and I’m not his nurse he tells me “But you did it before!”. Why is this always the retort? Sir, I’ve done plenty of things before that I would never do again. My husband and I talk a lot about his father’s behavior and this is not an abnormal pattern for him. Despite the fact that his own child lives with him as well, and that he’s an able-bodied adult, it seems to be his belief that because of the uterus I was born with, it must be my directive to care for him. He’ll do things very frequently to indicate this. If I’m cooking he’ll tell me about how much he loves whatever food I’m cooking. If he’s hurt, he comes to me. If he needs anything that is relatively feminine, he comes to me under the assumption that I have it and that he’s welcome to it. Once he asked for yarn and I lied and told him I gave it away. He asked me why I keep getting rid of things he needs, you know, because I totally anticipated him coming to ask for yarn at random one day for a random project. He then complained that I gave away “our” yarn. Sir, it’s my yarn. I spent years and hundreds of dollars getting the different kinds and colors while learning to crochet. It was never once “ours”. Naturally, he expects that I have to nurture my husband, too. If I make myself a comfort food on a bad day, “(name) doesn’t like that.”. “Why do you always make things he doesn’t like?”. Twice. I made salmon twice. It never once occurs to him that I could cook something for me. “Why aren’t you making one for (name)?”. “Oh, (name) is going to hate that!”. One time I was making a comfort food that my (dead) mom used to make, potato farls. It’s not a difficult recipe, but it’s messy and it takes a lot out of me so we don’t get to do them often. I finally snapped and told him that “I don’t care what (name) wants. I am cooking this for -me-.” and he responded “A good woman would care.”. I’ve never yelled so loud in my life “I don’t give a flying f*ck about being a good woman. How about being a good f*cking person? I just want to be a f*cking person!”. I kept going until he ran off and eventually, to his son’s surprise, he apologized for the comment. I’ll never forget it and what it really said.

Amy

Last christmas I was living with my partner at his parents house. His dad and brother were home for christmas too. His dad started some conversation about how when women have babies they become friends with people who have babies. He said he would go to parties with his wife and when she had babies her friends changed and she hung out with mom’s only. I said “John (name change), when you make comments like that, it makes me uncomfortable.” (it is not uncommon for John to talk about women in a way where he knows a lot about them as a species. Or at least thats how i interrpret his comments) He got very defensive very loud right away, he walked around the kitchen island, “I am almost 70 years old and I have experienced enough to know that what I have experienced to be true. I am entitled to my thoughts and opinions.” He walked around and stood right in front of me, my partner on his other side, and my partners brother on my other side sitting down. Brother spoke up “You were just talking to your partner about how your friends are changing.” There is a bit more defense happening, For the 1 minute after my comment, I tried to say “Im just saying I dont like to talk about this it makes me uncomfortable”, but I started to freeze up. I didnt want to cry, “I am done with this conversation” And turned to leave to my bedroom. “Oh Amy we still love you” John laughs as he touches my shoulder. I felt so degraded and ignored. I cried for an hour before dinner and then had to go sit at the table for dinner. I was silent. I have anxiety about going back to that house. I have anxiety about christmas this year. I said I was uncomfortable. How is that not enough on it’s own?