feminism

M.

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I want to talk about the sexism in a relationship, specifically mine and my experience. My boyfriend gets upset when he asks me to do something like grab him something to drink or go do him a favor and I say I can’t because I have something of my own to do. He also beat me sometimes and he says it’s my fault because I nag him too much or I shout. He also always wants me to have perfect and straight hair when mine is curly and always wants me to dress sexy because he says I look like a man if I don’t. He always insults me and says I’m fat and ugly and offends my family and if I do anything like that he gets so angry I can’t control him. He always likes other girls’ pictures and looks at other girls and makes sex jokes right in front of me but I can’t even look at one of his guy friends (who’s also in a relationship) while he’s talking to me. I always have to clean up after him because he says that’s a ‘woman’s job’. He also says he doesn’t know how to be romantic but he certainly knows how to put me down. He always says I’m good at nothing because I don’t know how to cook.. I’M 16 YEARS OLD! Before I was in a relationship with this guy I was going out with another guy.. I was still a virgin. I went out with him once and we were outside near the fields looking at the stars. Suddenly he starts kissing me and taking my clothes off and I started pushing him off and telling him I didn’t want to. He said he wasn’t going to put it in but he did.. and when he finished he said ‘Haha I still got my way’ My now boyfriend knows this guy and knows what happened. The other guy told everybody and without knowing the whole story my boyfriend called me a slut. If my boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex he will simply decline but when I don’t feel like it or get tired he will just ignore me because if we don’t have sex there is nothing else he would like to do with me like talk or something. I also once had an experience with my mum’s boyfriend. He was really handsy and would always touch my butt or my boobs or walk into my room without knocking. I never told my mum until one day when he came to give me 20 euros and he put it in my bra as I was washing the dishes and I was so sick of it that I told her everything. When I told her about the thing with the 20 euros she replied ‘So? He didn’t touch your boob, did he? So what’s wrong with that?’ I know a lot of people accept this kind of behavior because they believe that a man is superior to a woman.

Autumn

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In my university where I study art, there are classrooms around our art studios where they teach plumbing, construction, etc. There isn’t one female in any of those classes, all just guys. They frequently catcall, whistle and comment sexual remarks to the females in my class. This happens frequently and it is not okay.

Grace

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I am currently doing a project on Catcalling for the final year of my BA degree that is greatly inspired by the work of Everyday Feminism, Hollaback and similar sites. As I walked out of my university building after a productive meeting with lecturers and tutors on the direction of my work, a man smoking outside of the doors startled me by shouting “Hey Sexy” then proceeded to follow me around the corner to where my bike was parked in a gated lot. I stood at the gate with two choices, either open and risk him following me into the dark corner where no one would be able to help if he followed me in, or to turn around and confront him. I chose the latter and asked him why he felt inclined to follow me and if he studied at the university, to which he replied – ‘not really’ as he relentlessly asked for my number and for me to go out with him. I gave him my number and said that I’d love to get in touch with him and have an interview on why he thought it was acceptable to refer to me as sexy and follow me into a dark alley. He took my number and said ‘I’m going to call you and make sure you didn’t give me a fake number’, (this part of our conversation has really stuck with me as I always wonder what he would have done had I changed the number) so he called and insisted on small talk until I said I had to leave. Disgruntled, he wandered off to finish his cigarette so I was finally able to retrieve my bike, as I walked out back into the alley to join the road he had hid behind a pillar and jumped out in an effort to startle me once again as I walked past. This time I took no chances and jumped straight on my bike and have never cycled so fast in my life. In reflection the situation seems ironic considering my efforts to tackle Catcalling, however the most striking observation I have made both in my personal and academic experiences is that their are no two situations that are the same and it is so hard to produce a response when you genuinely fear for your safety. So the idea that women either enjoy being catcalled or are unaffected by it is reinforced once again in this vicious cycle. There was a point while we were speaking that I almost felt guilty for being so standoffish with him however I know that is because this world has taught me to constantly stroke the masculine ego and be the subject of their dominating gaze, this was another physical reminder that the world is built by men, for men.

M

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i went to a bar with friends i got drunk so I didn’t relaly know what was happenin then next thing you know i wake up with an older mans semen in me. what do you know?