Natasha
I’m eighteen years old currently, this happened when I was sixteen years old. I had been ‘talking’ to this boy I had met through one of my close friend’s boyfriend, we decided to meet in town. Now, I wasn’t stupid, having only spoken to this boy online I made sure that my friend and her boyfriend would also be in town and meet us after an hour or so. Everything was going okay but I had this feeling that something wasn’t quite right, we went to a social space (a space in town open to the public to hang out basically) and sat by the stairs. AT this point my friend and her boyfriend had gone off to do their own thing, the moment they left he started creeping closer to me, bear in mind at this point I wasn’t entirely sure if I actually liked him so I wasn’t entirely comfortable but thought he just liked me, That it was fine. He then insisted that our bodies be touching somehow for the remainder of the day, at this point my friend and her boyfriend are back with us so I felt like I couldn’t voice my discomfort so I went with it. We then, this boy, my friend, and her boyfriend went back to her house to watch the rugby. It was during the six nations and I remember watching the end of the England game and then we watched Wales Vs. Scotland. I felt very uncomfortable but I felt able to distance myself from him because I’m a die-hard rugby fan and player so it wasn’t “odd” that I was backing away. Honestly, I felt so relieved. But then came half time; my friend and her boyfriend went off upstairs and the moment they did this boy began touching me. He grabbed my waist, my breast and pulled me towards him and I was really scared. I’m now on my own in my friend’s living room so I did the one thing I could think of. I thought if I just kiss him then I’ll distract him long enough to leave me the hell alone and work out a way to get myself out of there. But the groping doesn’t stop, I tell him now and push his hands away but he doesn’t stop. What scared me the most was he didn’t seem to see a problem and then he grabbed me, quite hard between my legs, and tried to do more. I honestly think things would have been far worse had my friend not come back with her boyfriend. What was even worse was I had to get the train back from my friend’s house to town with him! I did my best to paint on a smile and shrug off any further advances, thankfully there was a young family across from us so it stopped him from grabbing me again. The whole time I just kept thinking to get to the train station and beeline for your mum’s car which is what I did and I never told anyone, not even my friend. I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t want to disrupt our friendship, her relationship with her boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s friendship with this boy and honestly I didn’t even register that I had been assaulted at first. I viewed it as a rough make-out session, it’s only reflecting on it and the way that I felt that I came to realize it was wrong. But I felt silenced by society; I had said yes to the date and watching the rugby at her house, I had kissed him back in hopes he wouldn’t grope me again, and for a long time, I felt like that made what happened okay because it was my fault. BUT it was NEVER my fault. What’s worse is this wasn’t the first time I was sexually assaulted/harassed and it was most definitely not the last.