germany

Waitress

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I am 23 years old and just graduated with a bachelor in social sciences. While at University, i felt treated equally. Never truly felt sexism since my field of study was overpopulated with women anyways. I always worked as a waitress cause I love it. I decided to do a year of full time waiting tables to figure out where I want to move my life. Since I am working full time, i have been bombarded with compliments and numbers and while it was charming in the beginning, i noted a change in my behavior. I started to reduce myself to my female beauty. Since no one asked for my scientific, or political beliefs anymore i kinda.. don’t know how to say it. Because i am being reduced to my outer appearance, i started to define myself over it. I might sound stupid and spoilt, but if all you ever hear all day “Gosh, is that a pretty girl.” you start to believe that all you are is a pretty girl. I fought it by writing all the other things about me in my journal. To keep in mind that I am a good friend, funny and loveable. Not just some drunk fantasy serving drunk men.

Laura

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I am studying the law at the university in Münster, Germany. Last week my professor used the word “hinterfotzig” which is a german slang word for “malicious” and includes the word “Fotze” whitch means “cunt” in english. Why is there a curse word for womens genitals when there is none for mens? And why is it still used? I hate that often used curse words like “bitch”, “hoe” or “slut” are are only used towards women. There are no similar curse words for describing a man in a negativ sexualy way. And don’t get me wrong. I just want to point that out, i don’t want there to be more that also include men. How about we just drop them once and for all? It is not ok to use a curse word and particular not that one in a lecture at the university. Especially with most students listening being femal. After this word there where gasps and laughter and i was shocked. His excuse:”Ich bin halt von Bayern” (“I am from Bavaria”). But to be fair, he didn’t used just this one curse word, he let a few others slip, too, then the gasps and laughter and then his excuse. But still, the cunt-word definitly has been the reason for most reactions. I am sure that after this word slipped, he knew that he said something wrong. Still it is not ok, even with most students more stuned than angry. I guess because it was the only time that he used a sexist word to descripe malicious and furthermore never said anything sexist befor i will let it go. If it happens again i will definitly talk to him. All in all that was not the worst thing that happened to me while talking about sexism, but it definitly bothered me last week.

Leah

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I’d recently taken a trip to Germany, and, while visiting the city square in Dresden, was approached by a man who was probably in his early-to-mid thirties. I’m under twenty, and I had wandered a few steps away from my friends to have a quick chat with someone on the phone (in English); this guy heard me, struck up a conversation, and even though he was speaking with a perfectly friendly tone of voice, I kept catching him glancing down at my body, and the whole time that I had talked with him he had this kind of creepy look on his face, so I was a little nervous. He asked me where I was staying, when I was going back home, things like that, but most of my answers were lies. Eventually, we finish up, and he holds out his hand for me to shake, which I do, and then he asks me for a hug. I sort of stutter and I can’t say anything, so he asks again. Wanting to get away, I cave in and give him a really quick hug. He didn’t grope me or steal anything or anything else like that, but that whole encounter has just left a bad taste in my mouth and since I’ve though of it I keep questioning whether or not I’m being paranoid, and if I only imagined him looking at my legs or thought that the questions were too personal. It’s been hard to get it out of my head, and I don’t feel like I can really talk to anyone about it, since it wasn’t overt and he hadn’t actually done anything that hurt me.