grandfather

Teresa

When I was about 3 or 4 years old my grandfather what me and my family visited in summer was doing a lot of wird stuff to us – my older brother and younger sister. He had a shelter built in the backyard behind the garden. He used to send me and my brother to the shelter with him. He said to show him our private parts. And if we did that he whoud give us candy. I and my brother did that of course to only get the candy. He said that we coudn’t tell anybody of that. But we told her and she was very angry at him. We didn’t visit him and my grandma because of him. About 2 years went by and we visited them in the summer when I was about 5 or 6 years old. My family and me thought that he was changed but he wasnt. That summer he did the same thing to my sister. I remember he told me to sit on his lap and I did IT because I wanted the candy… I really didn’t know then that was wrong and an awfull thing to do to child… That summer when with my sister happend the same thing my mum, dad, grandma and everybody find that out because I told them. My grandma and family was very upset and we fast went home. We havent been to my grandparents ever since. And now I am 13 almost 14 … I think he has gotten to therapy but I really dont know… I just want to meet my grandma and talk to her before something bad happends…

Alice

Singapore. Engineering Consultancy. I met with a gentleman at a conference and we started talking business opportunities private/public partnerships. I work as Engineer for a consultancy and my boss encourages me to do BD as well. The gentleman, 60-something, retired and in private equity, a grandfather to two, and I decide to meet next month to talk some more about possible collaborations. At that meeting, I see him saying goodbye to a young professional. She is Japanese, and I say hi to her in passing. She seems excited to have met with him. I wonder if it is a coincidence that I am like her, only Western and white. During the meeting he tries to compliment me, saying I must be the boss at my firm being so smart and intellectual. I am confused. Do we have a language barrier? (he is Singaporean Chinese) I correct him on my position with the firm and that anything more concrete we need to discuss with my boss. As he proceeds to complement me on more things that are not true or not relevant to our discussion I realize he is trying to make me comfortable and appreciated. We part ways and I wonder why I feel like I wasted my time. I get text messages from him thanking me for the meeting and that I should visit and come cook for him and have wine together. ???!!!?! I ignored the message. During our office meeting the next week I share my experience. My male and female co-workers are dazed. My boss smirks and, while understanding, he chuckles and comments that that it is part of life. Should it? I wish I asked him. Should it? Should your daughter of 19 experience the same as I did last week? She is studying to become a professional in Engineering. Should she be obstructed in her work like that?