grooming

Becky

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I was groomed by my teacher (31) at college when I was 17. He would purposefully email me and ask personal questions, about me, my hobbies, my family. One day he came to meet me at my local pub after I had a row with my mum. He lived a good hour away from my house so he knew what he was doing. He bought me drinks all evening, got me drunk and kissed me. That begun a 7-month affair. He kept telling me he loved me, but all the time I heard rumours he was also grooming other girls in my class, making them mixed tapes and staying behind after class. We parted ways when I went to university, and have not spoken since. His manipulation of me has left me mistrusting of men, and affected every relationship I’ve had since. I’ve never said anything as what he did was not technically illegal at the time (late 90s). I’ve no proof either. But he’s now married with kids and working in a school in Malaysia and I worry what he’s doing with other girls there.

Kristen

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My beautiful daughter (14) was groomed by a man (18) she met while on holiday with a friend and her family. When checking her phone one day I found the most disturbing pictures and videos of this man wanking, repeated requests for my daughter to send him images, and disgusting suggestions about what he would like to do to her. I messaged him and told him to leave her alone to which he replied that they were friends and I should lighten up. I told him if she received any other messages, I would go to the police, which in the end I did anyway. The police were amazing. They took copies of the images and statements from myself and my daughter (who incidentally felt responsible for getting him into trouble) and he was subsequently charged. In the courtroom, the judge decided not to record a conviction because the defendant wanted to join the army and my daughter had been a “willing participant” in her own underage grooming. To add insult to injury, her own father, when told about the grooming said, “She must have led him on.”