hospital

Dr GP

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A cardiologist giving a seminar to GPs (family physicians) told proudly how he had been instrumental in appointing two female cardiologists to the cardiology team of a teaching hospital. ‘Can you tell that I’ve got three daughters and five sisters?’, he asked. Like someone on this site has already said, if having daughters and sisters were a sign of non-discrimination then the world would naturally be a better place. And how might a female cardiologist be different in providing a tertiary level service I’ve wondered. Surely they were appointed on basis of qualifications, and merit.

Caro

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Earlier this month I went to the Nairobi Women’s Hospital. I was looking forward to accessing healthcare at a clinic that tailors to women’s health concerns. I felt safe. The doctor I saw was a man, and I didn’t think anything of it. I figured he was well-versed in treating his patients with respect. I was bloated. I wanted him to address the issue. He asked if he could feel my stomach. I had a brief moment where I worried he would take advantage of me – it happens, after all. But I told myself I was being paranoid. “Let it go, Caro.” It was fine. He sent me to the lab to do some tests. I felt vulnerable. Scared. When I returned to his office with the test results – as instructed – he simply looked at them and laughed. Laughing at someone’s test results is not exactly the path to rapport-building. Finally, he looked up at me with a sardonic smile. “Everything’s fine.” Now, how much longer are you in Kenya for?” 2 months. “Does that mean I won’t be able to take you out for dinner or a coffee?” I wanted to spit in his face. To tell him he was being unprofessional. To storm out. But I froze. He was about to fill out a prescription for me and I worried that if I told him to fuck off, he would prescribe me something else – something completely useless, or harmful. Paranoid, perhaps. But you never know. Finally, I spoke. “I’m in a relationship.” “That doesn’t matter,” he said. “You’re a very beautiful women. It only makes sense that I would ask you.” I felt like puking. Just an hour earlier I had gone to this women’s clinic, excited to be in a place that purportedly caters to its patients needs, that respects them. This was clearly not the case. Had I known that he was so unprofessional, I wouldn’t have let him touch my stomach. I wouldn’t have even shaken his hand. I told the only woman staff member I saw on the way out. She said “I’m sorry.” I’m looking into who I can report this to.

Emma

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I’m a medical student on a paediatrics placement. My group of 4 was being taught in Paediatric Assessment, a kind of A&E. A couple had been kind enough to let us visit and examine their son. We discussed his development, and why he was in hospital, and I comforted his anxious older sister whilst we examined him. We left them, and my male colleague said “mum was hot”. ‘Mum’ had been so kind to us to enable our learning, was shattered from looking after a baby in respiratory distress, and had a toddler. She did not need to be objectified. It made me feel sick to think this is how my colleague thinks about his patients.

Alison

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When I was 20 I got an abscess on one of my buttocks which I had to have a small operation under a general anaesthetic to drain. At a follow up outpatient appointment, I was seen by a male doctor that I hadn’t seen before and I did not have a chaperone. The Doctor got me to take my underwear off so he could examine me and then whilst I was lying down, he rammed a gloved finger hard into my rectum whilst asking me how I had got the abscess. Saying that I must have done something to cause it and generally shaming me and not accepting it when I said that I had no idea why I had got it. At the time I felt guilty, embarrassed and ashamed. It was only years later that I realised that the doctor had sexually assaulted me.

Alison

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When I was 21 I took an overdose and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a few days. When I was admitted, the doctor who admitted me insisted on giving me a physical examination and spent what felt like hours examining my breasts. I felt very uncomfortable and was praying for it to end. At the time I accepted this as normal practice. But now years later, I’ve had many breast examinations and I realise that I was being sexually assaulted.CHARRO

Janis

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After Med School a man become a doctor. A woman become “nurse! Hey nurse!!! Harry up! So rude you didn’t answer at First!”, or “sorry miss, where is the doctor? Oh, you?! I expected a man”. 8 times over 10, even if I’m interviewing them, I’m in doctors room, I’m wearing a white coat with “DOCTOR” in Italia, that’s what happens.

Jason

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When I became fifteen years old, I realized that I had a sexual interest in men. As a person who had never felt the sting of homophobia I didn’t feel guilty at all enjoying this new sexual interest. I started watching gay pornography and thoroughly enjoying it. after a while I noticed something odd about the genitals of the people I was watching. they seemed different, almost as if the penises of these other men were like a turtle, with the head receding into some sort of odd covering. This bothered me to the point that I ended up researching the subject. My first search resulted In a forum post on a dating website for younger people, with women describing this “skin” to be “absolutely disgusting” and further saying things like “uhhg, I could never f**k an uncut man”. My second research attempt resulted in the broader scientific terms, it was called “the foreskin covering the glans”. I was totally confused at this point in my research because there wan no evidence of this on my body. Was I a freaking ALIEN or something? I eventually learned that this part was on my body at some point, but without my permission or consent it was surgically and unnecessarily removed. I felt utterly destroyed upon learning that doctor had cut off a part of my body without my knowledge. Now I know that I live in a society in which it is legal to chop on male genitals, and for females it is banned as a federal offense. I had no ability to consent to it, nor would I ever have consented to it, but it still happened and left me feeling like an incomplete human being.

Meagan

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Just heard Laura on NPR with Leonard Lopate… Which everyday sexism do I want to share? There are so many. I went to the emergency room for mental health reasons and was put into a psych ward where I was told to put a hospital gown over my clothes because there were men in there. I went in and ONLY the women had gowns over their clothes. Men were wearing their normal everyday clothing. On top of that, a woman who was obviously very disturbed was menstruating on herself and no nurses helped her. Why did I have to put a gown on and feel that I was the one who was the problem (and shamed for dressing inappropriately- apparently that’s leggings and a long sweater) when it was the men in the ward who were the problem. Maybe if a man was deemed a danger to women he should not be with the “general population” in the first place. Nope, the easiest way is always to change women it seems.

Ellen

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I’m a medical student and today I went to sit in on a trauma meeting to learn more. I was helping myself to the free food when a male orthopaedic consultant asked me what I’m interested in. Was nice to be acknowledged and even asked a question as am often ignored and feel in the way as a student. Infectious diseases and tropical medicine I told him. The army will be after you he told me. They really want infectious diseases people. It isn’t much hard work too – you can work part time AND you get to travel the world. It’s not too hard and it’s part time! Fancy that! Because hard work wasn’t really on the agenda as I push myself through medical school – all women in medicine really want to go part time so they can have children. Thank you kind sir. How would I ever cope? He then proceeded to tell the other men he was speaking to all about his guns and how he took his friend shooting and he was such an amateur. I raised my eyebrows, smiled and say ‘oh?’ Today I was too tired to try to let a ‘helpful’ male doctor know exactly what my career goals are and ask him why he is patronising me. But I realised that’s ok. Some days I smile and laugh, other days I throw it back. Can’t let it drain me.

Holly

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Yesterday I went to hospital (St Mary’s in Roehampton, London) for a checkup and was leered at by a guy in the waiting room when he overheard me saying I had a gynaecology appointment (like… seriously?!). After having a checkup by a fantastic doctor, which I still found humiliating due to lifelong conditioning to hate my body, I left the hospital. Just outside I was catcalled by a man inside a van. I gave him the finger and he swore at me. A few minutes later I was walking following maps on my phone home (having decided an hour walk in the sun was better than forty minutes on the bus since I felt like shit after my day so far), and my phone told me to go down an alleyway between Barnes and Mortlake, as you turn right off the main road and go towards some corner shops. I walked towards the alley in the brightly lit afternoon, in a residential area, and then noticed two young men walking towards me (both white, one with dark hair in a black tracksuit, one with red hair and jeans. I’m putting these description in in the hope that one day someone who knows these two might point them to this and they realise the effect their actions had on someone). One asked “do you smoke?” and I said no and walked away quickly, aware of how they were looking at me. It was a hot day and I was wearing a crop top, knee length skirt and a cap. They walked past the alley and I stepped inside. After a couple of metres I realised they’d backtracked and had sat at the entrance of the alleyway. I stood there, paralysed, staring at the map, assessing how much further through I’d have to go and whether I’d be able to get through before they caught up to me. I decided it wasn’t worth it, especially since I was looking at maps on my work phone and really didn’t want to get mugged. I walked back to the entrance of the narrow alley, which they were sat on either side of, and they stood up. “Where are you going”, the dark haired one barked at me. I stared at him in utter disgust and just said “home” with as much disdain as I could muster. Then I turned the corner and started crying for not making clearer how unacceptable their intimidation of me was. I couldn’t talk to my boyfriend at all for the rest of the day because my whole day felt like an attack on my womanhood. Hyperbolic, I know, and I have stopping being such an arse since then. It can just be really exhausting, living this life.