internet

Lydia

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Our school has a keyword system on the computers that cannot be overided where if you search or type any keywords such as “g*n” or anything else deemed innapropriate it won’t let you search or click on certain websites. I wouldn’t have a problem with this because I have no reason to search anything like that and it’s for our own saftey, however when I was searching for your book “Girl Up” it wouldn’t let me search because of “keywords”. I then typed “Girl Up by Laura Bates” and it was still a keyword that wouldn’t allow me to search. I removed everything I had typed other than the word “girl” and unsuprisingly that was the keyword. Infact me typing this submission right now has probably come up in the system. I then typed “boy up” and “boy” out of curiosity and “boy” isn’t a keyword. STOP OBJECTYFYING GIRLS JUST BECAUSE SOME DUMB TEENAGE BOYS MIGHT SEARCH THEM UP!!!!! And this is SCHOOL

A

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I signed up to a teen dating website when i was only 14 years old. I still don’t really know why – maybe out of curiosity. Anyway, I stayed on it for about a month and at the start i got a message from a random boy (same age as me – apparently) saying something like: ‘please get off this website – you should know you’re beautiful without needing others to say that’. I should’ve definitely payed more attention to that warning. But i didn’t. I consequently got sent many direct messages from strangers all over the world daily (some middle aged men, some catfishes I’m sure) asking to see me, my bra size, what they wanted to do to me, objectifying me…sending me many explicit pictures…and i was aged only 14. I don’t deny that I was extremely naive at the time and it was a stupid decision to create the account, but the experience made me think that this is what the wider world was really like – this is reality and I’d have to accept that. Ever since then I’ve been sceptical of all men i don’t know and their intentions and, as a proud feminist, try to call out as many incidences of everyday sexism as possible. I think I’ll still carry that fear and the memory of the experience with me into the future, but i just hope…i really hope, that one day I won’t think that all men are trash.

April

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I was unable to attend my brother’s wedding on the other side of the world. He and his bride broadcast the wedding on the internet for me and other family members to virtually attend. It was wonderful to experience the wedding from my laptop, the next best thing to being there. My heart sank when a random idiot commented that my brother’s wife was ugly, she had a face like a horse and there was no way on the world he could ever fuck her but he would fuck one of the bridesmaids. Most of my family were watching. I was devastated that someone could say such cruel things on such a special day.

emma

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Reading internet articles about safety equipment for skate park activities. 1st article I read gives an extensive list of pros & cons of different equipment choices. Half way down the page, it is illustrated with a photo of a woman wearing wrist guard, elbow pads, knee pads…. & absolutely nothing else.

Hermione

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A few weeks ago, YouTube uploaded a video on international women’s day about feminism. I smiled at the beautiful video and truly appreciated it, but then I scrolled down into the comments and *BOOM* hate. Some of the comments were about how women didn’t need a pat on the back, or about how men didn’t get their own video. Others were about sexism not being real. And the most stupid ones were the ones saying that there are worse problems in the world, and that we didn’t want to waste our time on this non existent issue. AGHH, those ignorant people make me so angry.

Anne

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I have a modestly successful YouTube account for Disney fan videos, and a Facebook page to accompany it. All today I’ve been getting messages on the Facebook page from someone who calls themselves Donna, although their profile says Jacob and they claim Jacob is their brother. But then I started getting messages from “Jacob” himself, under another profile, and he started telling me to text him, call him, etc. and eventually said he wanted to “give my butt a slap.” I immediately blocked him – both profiles, as I am no longer sure if I was actually talking to a girl named Donna. I also blocked them on YouTube to ensure my own safety. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t create more profiles and continue to harass me, especially since reporting doesn’t do much good.

clickbait

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my bf and i use sites like “alluc” or whatever to stream movies and shows and there are ALWAYS these clickbait ads on the side about beautiful asian women (or russian, or spanish, or whatever) or the ones about “don’t let your wife know you play this game” or things like that – all with photos of womens breasts and bodies (never the face) oversexualised and it just depresses me so much. It’s like there is no comparing – I will never look like these women and therefore never be valued or beautiful and I imagine it’s not good for men to see them all the time either, even if they don’t click on them because it reinforces the idea that womens bodies are just commodities. I wish there was a way to report or stop these. Sometimes I feel completely discouraged. feminism in 2016? where?

Confused bat

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Hi, I’m glad to have found this place and that I’m not alone. So I have pretty bad social anxiety and am very introverted. I don’t have a social media profile or go out that much. I withdrew from college at the start of 2015. I feel that since then my social anxiety has gotten worse but am getting a lot of help for it that I’m extremely grateful for. Between the time that I got failing grades up to now, one of my closest friends who I was living with at the time started to grow distant from me. The counsellor at the college campus made me feel very anxious and that I couldn’t talk to her, we just didn’t mesh well. So feeling like I couldn’t talk to anyone, I retreated to the mental health forums, i.e. the emotional wastelands of the interwebs. There are a handful that I feel are basically the same but with different names. Psychforum, socialphobiaworld, and socialanxietysupport. I went onto social anxiety support to vent about my problems I was having the the SA. What I didn’t know beforehand was that there seemed to be a lot more guys on these mental health forums than there were girls. I met a few girls, and I got along with them instantly. But whenever I posted a thread I got answers almost entirely from guys. One of the few I can remember was about how I’d been walking down the hall to class and two guys started insulting my outfit. I asked in the thread if anyone else had this problem where they seemed to attract random hostility while they were in College. The responses I got were questions from several guys just asking me what I did wrong to provoke these poor young men. “What the hell?” I thought. It was minor and I wasn’t being insulted directly but it still seems wrong to me for all these guys to assume I was the villain in the situation. I thought it was a fairly relatable thing. Then I started searching the forum for questions I had that may have been already asked. Among them I found responses from guys saying stuff like, “Haven’t had a MILF try to seduce me yet” and other things that to me just seemed really offensive even though they weren’t directed at me. It was frustrating to see so much of this kind of stuff. I’ve learned a lot about life in the past few years, including how forums operate, which is now something I wish I didn’t have to know. I’ve learned they are dumping grounds for emotions and vitriol. I’ve left this forum along with the account I had on socialphobiaworld. I keep in touch with the real world as much as I can and try to stick to venting/resolving my problems in a journal, with a psychiatrist, or with a friend or loved one.

Blake

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I once saw a sexist idiot saying that feminism is an excuse for women to feel important and that statistics showing sexism are wrong. His reasoning? That the gender ratio in politics and science is because women don’t WANT to work in those areas. Gee, it’s not like girls are discouraged from those jobs by media from the moment they were born or anything! Another story: A female friend of mine is Asian (important) and have a six-pack because she works out. Once she wore a short top and we were in the park. This guy who is a complete stranger passes by and says something along the lines of: “Holy F***. Are you sure you’re a woman?” She gave him the finger but he just laughs and says that he thought Asian chicks are supposed to be submissive and sexy. Yet people say that equality has been achieved in modern society.

Kitty

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Was looking at a website which has pictures of various actors & actresses on just now, & there was a content from other sites section underneath one particular picture which said “these 30 formally (sic) hot celebrities are now ugly”. The picture above it was of a woman in a bikini with slightly sagging breasts & a slightly sagging stomach, running along the beach. Why have this crap at all, & why illustrate it with a picture of a woman? Way to make the celebrities in question feel good about themselves- by focussing on their looks & defining them by that, & implying that they used to be hot but they don’t cut it anymore because they’ve dared to not conform to society’s idea of what ‘hot’ is (i.e. they’ve dared to put on a few pounds, or have ‘let themselves go’ in other ways)! And another one- “you’ll never recognise these formerly hot celebrities!”, illustrated by a very overweight, yep, you’ve guessed it, woman.