When I ask management in my workplace to please try and encourage staff towards being less sexist, I’m told that they can’t do anything to reduce sexism at work because it’s part of a wider issue in society. It doesn’t seem that our workplace anti-discrimination laws work for us in the UK.
One instance was this week. I was trying to get a restraining order against an ex boyfriend who was abusive who won’t stop harassing me even two years after the last break up. My own lawyer (male) tried to convince me to get a temporary extension instead of a full restraining order so that it wouldn’t show up on my ex’s record and his life would never be the same. I was shocked that my own lawyer that I trusted with my case said this. My lawyer said he’s young and I said he’s older than me and is 26. Even if he was younger I still would not understand how this could mean that he’s any less dangerous. What it came down to was that he believed my ex’s reputation was more important than my life and safety. I did not go through with the restraining order not because of the reason my lawyer gave me but because I didn’t think I could go to court and being in the same room as my ex again without puking or having a panic attack and because the judge was male and I did not feel he would understand.
So I just finished law school (UK) and I remember in one of my criminal law seminars we were discussing statutory rape (s1 Sexual Offences Act 2003). I always got so worked up because one of the requirements for rape is that it has to be done with a penis. Otherwise it is classified as assault by penetration (s2), which has exactly the same sentence its just not called rape. So by that logic it is impossible for a born women to commit rape. The other thing is that when it comes to consent, you can put ‘terms and conditions’ of sorts on sex etc. When we had this seminar, a guy put up his hand and said that one of his friends had asked a man to not finish inside her, but that he had taken off his condom and she hadn’t realised. Will never forget the look on his face (and the entire class) when the professor confirmed that his friend had been raped. I don’t know whether the poor guy told his friend or not. The one thing which has shocked me since learning law is that what people assume the law is or what the law should be based on common understanding, fails in technicality. Unwanted sexual intercourse does not correctly cover the legal requirements. People don’t understand concepts like rape because the common definition and the legal definition don’t align. Its hard enough fighting for equal rights when people aren’t even sure what their rights are and when those rights are broken.
I’m a 24-year-old journalist. I was at Cambridge Magistrates’ Court today for a hearing, and, like everyone else I had to go through their security checks – bag search, walking through the body scanner, etc. When I went through the body scanner the alarm sounded (I was wearing bracelets, a watch). So, one of the guards came over. He passed the metal detector several times over my boobs, and the detector made a sound, presumably because of the wire in my bra. He said: “That’s a bra”, to the amusement of the other guard standing behind me. Yep, women wear bras, you d*ck. I’ve emailed the courts with a complaint.
I gave evidence recently in court against two men who raped me. Their defence made a huge fuss over the fact I had put on make-up before being raped. Apparently liquid eyeliner means you are asking for it.
My supervisor asks me to go out speak to x (who is female) woman to woman because x is fucking useless. He tells me that he made y (a senior female lawyer) sit by the door because he didn’t like her. He tells his friend the partner is taking the male trainee out for lunch. He says “maybe he senses we don’t like this one” and points to me. Every time the make trainee walks in the room he says “here’s the lad!” And “I can’t give you any work because I have to give it to her” and points at me. He makes me run around doing Stupid tasks for him instead of giving me actual legal work. Such as calling a female lawyer who is off sick and demanding that she gives us tax advice. He doesn’t stick up for me and say he made me do this when her male boss emails me telling me not to disturb his associates when they are unwell. I am unhappy and cry. He tells me “if you can’t hack it he heat get out of the kitchen”. He constantly talks about the football with his male colleague as he knows I can’t join in. Male partner (his boss) sits me down for a chat. He tells me “I really admire my daughter. She’s smart, intelligent, ambitious, capable, super competitive but it’s really hard to be tough on a person’s behaviour when they are just the same as you”. Why do I feel as though I am being told off when it’s my supervisors behaviour that is the problem.
On the phone with a client and he asked me “who are you, are you a lawyer” when I had been on all of the bills and pleadings. Then he started explaining the law to me. He is not a lawyer.
in open court and on the record, opposing counsel and the judge make a joke about opposing counsel going on a date with me. Ugh.
Just had to share this one – male opponent replying to my submissions in court: “My lords, Miss X beguilingly took you through the law in a charming attempt to explain why her argument was correct…” and a recent example of a similar thing experienced by a colleague: “Miss Y tried to allure you with her argument – you should resist her siren call”. What’s wrong with “Ms X’s argument may seem convincing, but it is wrong because …”?
I did an advoacy course as a young lawyer. The retired judge teaching the course spoke about all the different styles of barrister (counsel): gifted orator, persuader, analytical and thorough. He was asked what he challenges women faced as barristers. He said “that being a woman was a style too, as women counsel could flirt with the jury”. All the women on the course were completely crushed. Never became a barrister.