lift

When I was 17 I went to my best friend’s house party and had a bit too much to drink. I accepted a lift home from a boy I’d known well throughout my school life and someone I felt safe with. He drove round the corner, pulled over the car and started to try to initiate foreplay with me. I was too drunk, which I recall him saying as well, and crawled to the backseat of the car to distance myself from him. He also moved over to the back. I was lying down on the backseats when he started masturbating. I was very drunk, confused and don’t have much memory of this part now (I assume from repression), but I remember him looming over me and eventually finishing over the top I was wearing. He then drove back to the party and made me get back out of the car, meaning I had to return to the party in which a lot of my peers were at. For a long while, my friends and peers found the incident funny. I felt it was all my fault, I shouldn’t have got in the car/shouldn’t have got that drunk, and that I should be really ashamed and embarrassed. It was only when someone in my year group approached me after hearing about what had happened that I realized I wasn’t the one in the wrong, because he simply told me that him and his friends were appalled by the boy’s actions and that they were sorry to hear of what happened. Even so, I’m still teased by friends about the event today (3 years later) and feel like a lot of my friends don’t understand fully why what he did was wrong – it’s easier to just laugh and embarrass me about it. The boy completely denied that he did anything wrong when the peer mentioned above tried to talk to him about it. His defense was that he could have done more, but he resisted. We spoke once after the incident, in which he told me that the only good thing about me was “my tits”.