NHS

Anon

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When I was 19 and in nursing school on a placement in a psych hospital, on my final day I was cornered by an old male health care assistant repeatedly demanding my number and asking to take me out on dates despite me repeatedly saying “no”. At one point he even stood between me and a patient I was having a conversation with to continue demanding my phone number. My last day of this placement was spent avoiding him at all costs and running out of there when my shift ended (I didn’t have time to say goodbye to colleagues because he was briefly off the ward so I took my opportunity and got out of there). I never reported this because he was so well liked by staff and patient and I didn’t want to jeopardise his career in the UK. It was a long time ago and I don’t really remember any of the staff who worked there but his name and face have stuck with me.

Ruth

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A male gynaecologist did a D and C without consent. I have just got to the end of 18 months of complaints and been blocked every time. He has now been promoted to a consultant at a different hospital. I never signed a consent form, I had no idea he was my surgeon. I gave no implicit, explicit or verbal consent. The General Medical Council has dismissed my case, gaslighting me by saying I cannot prove that I did not give my consent. Rape in a white coat is still rape. Stay strong sisters, always demand a chaperone and clarity about who is operating on you and why.

Anon

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I work in the NHS and what I do is important for patients. In a work conversation a male colleague who is highly respected and educated commented about how he had been thinking about and really appreciated my cleavage from a private social event that had happened. Not that I should have to justify myself, but I wasn’t even wearing anything that revealing, it was just a dress that was more fitted than my usual workwear. Then I feel cross with myself because even if I had been wearing something more revealing, nothing would give him the right to comment on that. These are some of the emotions I am feeling tonight. I can’t sleep thinking about it but I really need sleep because I am exhausted and have work deadlines. Angry Pissed off Guilt/shame/self blame Anxious Fed up Scared Responsibility and weight of future women to stand up and say not ok Responsibility to honour the courage of previous women who have stood up and said it’s not ok Shocked he would think this is ok, that they have the right to do this Burden/ I have a lot of stress and going through some significant life events right now and honestly don’t need this extra shit to think about, to think about how to uphold the responsibilities, stand up for myself but also protect myself from potential future consequences of doing it. Internal arguments about whether I should do something, bargaining -maybe they didn’t mean it, maybe they don’t realise (although how someone who is very highly educated doesn’t realise) Honestly this is the tip of the iceburg. It is a surprisingly direct l comment that I am able to explicitly label as sexist. A lot of the behaviour at work is difficult to label sexist because it is insidious and individually you probably can’t label each item as sexist but when you think about it together, you think it is. It is a common feeling amongst the women at work. Senior leadership know it is and yet have not done anything meaningful to tackle it. I’m not sure they know how. How do you tackle something that is so entrenched in people’s behaviours? There is a lot of male power by middle and older me , there are maybe 5-10 men in non-senior positions in a staff of a few hundred. Although I have large experience in an area, I was ignored, undermined and publicly criticised by senior male colleagues on a project team. I have been given excellent appraisals so this leads me to think it must be not be to do with my skill set but bias against my gender and age. Just tired of dealing with this extra emotional burden on top of trying to do a good job. .

Isla

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I’ve worked as a doctor in the NHS for almost 2 years now. I’ve experienced a range of sexist attitudes from patients and fellow staff. A lot of male patients call me nurse despite us wearing different uniforms or having already introduced myself as Doctor, some ask when I get to become a real doctor (about 2 years ago when I graduated medical school I tell them). Other patients are more inappropriate, when kneeling to take blood an older male patient said ‘It’s been a while since I had a woman on her knees for me’, a younger male patient asked if I was into BDSM while I was performing a procedure for him. One man told me outright that men are better at taking blood samples than women (I then got the sample first time with no issues and asked if he would like to retract his statement). A male patient masturbated while I place an IV line – I was horrified and realised I was extremely vulnerable being alone in a room with him. Thankfully my (female) senior was supportive, the male head of department said ‘it must feel awful, it’s not like you’ve been dragged into a bush and raped or anything but it must feel really bad’. A male surgeon told my colleague she shouldn’t pursue surgery because who would look after her children while her husband was at work.

Anon

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After receiving repeated explicit and detailed threats of sexual violence in the workplace on a daily basis for weeks from a patient who is a convicted sex offender, I discussed these with my line manager who stated “well what do we expect when we bring a beautiful woman on the ward” and laughed. He didn’t discuss it beyond this. I was the only woman in the team at the time and had not been in the service long so did not feel comfortable to report my line manager to more senior managers. I expressed to my team that I did not feel safe on the ward but the patient was not moved wards and I continued to have to go onto the ward he was on every day. When he started being allowed periods of leave off the ward, I stayed late at work to ensure that I didn’t have to walk from the building to my car at a time when he might be allowed to be out, particularly as he had made a point of telling me several times that he knew which car was mine. I felt I had to take these steps to manage the risk myself as I did not feel that anyone else was taking the risk to me seriously. I consulted the advice of a male psychologist colleague who specializes in working with sex offenders. He told me that “there’s nothing you can really do other than eat 10 donoughts a night”. A member of nursing staff told me that it is my fault because I have not lied to the patient and pretended that I’m married. I explained that my relationship status is irrelevant and being single does not justify sexual harassment and sexual aggression but they continued to say things like this, including in front of the patient. The patient stated to the whole team in a ward round that he is going to spank me and nobody challenged him at all. As part of my role, I had to sit in meetings where others or myself had to read out reports regarding the patients progress/mental state/behaviour, which frequently included quotes the patient had made where he described my breasts and bottom in detail, or described masturbating whilst thinking of me. It was extremely humiliating to have to sit in a professional meeting in a room full of people, in a role I have worked hard to be taken seriously in, and to have extremely personal descriptions about myself read out to everyone. Nobody asked if I was ok or offered to censor the material. This went on for months and only ended because I left the service. This is not unique to that service, but is a problem pervasive in forensic mental health services.

Anon

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As one of the only females in the service (and the only female in a senior position) I was repeatedly told by male members of staff that “we shouldn’t have girls working here”. When the team manager announced that he has recruited someone to the vacant post we had, a male member of staff said “please tell me it’s a man?”. The manager laughed and said “beggars can’t be choosers!” and apologised for appointing a woman (who is extremely experienced and is actually over qualified for the post).

Sarah Bennett

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While in hospital with daughter who I care for 24/7 asked by male pediatrician to get my husband ( who was at his work place) to sign a consent form for my daughter to have a procedure.