ownership

Catarina

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The other day I was walking on the street and a man approached me and asked me if I had a boyfriend… I comment to my mum and sister and they said the man said that because I am pretty… I see a big problem in this situation. First I am not an object to be asked in the street if I am owned or not; Second, why would you approach a woman to ask that? If you actually would be interested in her you would start with a “hello” and maybe introduce yourself? I don’t know, but the way it came was just uncomfortable and unnecessary; Thirdly, if you mean with that pickup line that I am pretty or whatever goes in your mind, please keep it to yourself altogether; Forth, why? really, why? and what? Fifth, to the women in my life and all the others, being pretty is not an excuse to be assaulted, being pretty is not an excuse to someone to invade your private space to tell you whatever you want, being pretty is not an excuse to drop your thoughts on someone. Enough of this. I am tired of catcalling, of looks, whistles, horns and all the rest! It is been more than 10 years of listening to this kinda bullshit. Enough.

Cat

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I live in a block of flats and I own one of them. The other owners – we are all equal partners – in my building are mainly men and won’t address any of the issues I raise and make all the decisions for the building. They expect me to pay several thousands pounds in maintenance charges per year and shut up

Carrie

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I own my home which is co-located in a set of townhouses. We have a Body Corporate committee that handles general activities like shared gardening and maintenance services. Three weeks ago I sent a formal request to the Body Corporate committee notifying them of my intent to renovate my own home, and replace a bath with a shower. The response that came back floored me: I was strongly advised not to remove the bath because how would any small children I have be bathed in future? I was told that it is easier to bathe kids in a bath. OK, maybe, but I choose not to have kids. My sister does not have kids. My brother has teenage kids. I have no other friends or family with young kids. My siblings and I are all in our40s but somehow my home must be renovated to suit other people’s assumptions about the “proper” state of my uterus and the purpose of my life as a female. I don’t want to slip and fall yet again while I get out of my bath but the Body Corporate wants me to retain a bath for kids I don’t have and will not have. It drives me almost insane that my home is still controlled by other people’s assumptions about what is the right way for a woman to behave, even in her own bathroom!