parents

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My 7 year old sister often gets told to close her legs, even when younger…I do too (am girl)

B

Few of the most major instances of blatant sexism in my life: – Got into an argument that turned pretty serious because I didn’t want to wear make up at school. My father suggested I should because “I should take more pride in myself and don’t you want to look pretty?” To this day it’s made me feel weird when I put make up on even if I want to because I remember feeling like its the only thing that makes me look attractive. I love my dad and he is a good person, but it still annoys me that he doesn’t see saying stuff like this as either sexist or a problem. – At work (which was just me and the boss) a new work experience student, aged 18, comes and starts working with us. After getting to know her for a bit she explains she is bisexual with a girlfriend and we all have a nice chat about their relationship. After she leaves work that day (earlier than us as she had to stick to school hours) my boss turns to me and says “shame she’s got a girlfriend, means a guy like me could never get with her.” She is 18, he is over 50. Same boss had told me he goes to aerobics classes and stands at the back just to watch at an all female class (plus many other similar remarks). After the comments about work experience girl I’ve had enough so I tell him calmly that everything he says like that is inappropriate and as a response he tells me not to be so sensitive. He said i was overly sensitive every time I tried to counter a sexist comment, and it’s a phrase you can’t really win from – you argue and he says you’re really sensitive, you let it go and he thinks his point is proven. Lose/Lose. – Went out for the night at uni, got to the bar and went to pay for my drink I’d just ordered when a guy shoves in front of me and buys it for me. I am polite, say thanks and head to leave when he insists as he bought my drink I owe him a kiss. I tell him I owe him nothing as it was his choice, and get shouted at that I’m just a frigid bitch. – One day I asked my niece (at the time 7) what she wanted to be when she was older. “I wanted to be a cricketer but women don’t play cricket so I can’t do that”. Mum, sister, and me immediately all tried to find tickets to a woman’s cricket game just to show her that while it’s not seen on TV nearly as much, she can do any sport she wants. Now (aged 9) she is a part of a cricket team, and a good player too! Just very sad that the media already taught her that certain sports were for men only. Sorry for the essay, these are just the stories that made me angriest/saddest when considering the “equal” world we supposedly live in.

Reader

“Parents dead in murder-suicide at Sugar Land home as 16-year-old daughter slept inside” Instead of: Domestically violent husband kills wife, then himself in Sugar Land They make this appear as if you do not know who the perpetrator is, then the police tell the friends to not talk about a likely disturbing email the morning before the killing. Of course, they wouldn’t report domestic violence.

Anon

It’s not my personal experience, but I was texting a close friend of mine and noticed she was acting annoyed. I asked her what was up and she told me that her mum’s boyfriend had made a comment, ‘International Women’s Day tomorrow- what a waste of a day’. Word for word. On another occasion, her mum once said that ‘women can’t ‘lift up” which made me mad but also was funny considering the fact that my mum used to be a competitive lifter.

Ace

My dad’s constant sexist remarks about women, and his urging me to go and get pregnant are the reason I think I’m asexual? I burst into tears everytime the conversation topic comes up, and he still doesn’t get what the problem is.

Athene

I live in Switzerland. I wanted to go for a walk in a park which is ten minutes away from home and used by a variety of people: joggers, families, kids etc. I have well-meaning but overprotective parents. My father said: “If no one is in the park, don’t go there.” I’m completely puzzled until my mother makes things unintentionally worse, saying: “He just thinks it would be dangerous if you went in there when no one is around. There’s less risk of something happening to your father because he’s a man. That’s how it is.” So this means that if something did happen to me, it would be my fault because I’m a woman who is stupid and can’t think for herself. My parents also like to interfere with my dating life, even Googling the last guy I went out with to make sure he was “decent” enough for their “princess”. I know they mean well and I am grateful to them for an incredible amount of things, but it simply reinforces that fact that I, as a woman, have to be locked away in some kind of castle like Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty. My brother never got to hear this kind of advice. I am 36, by the way. I feel like 6 years old.

Marta

Recently I discovered that my opinion on this subject makes me a feminist. So my mum came to pick me up and we were having a fine conversation when all in a sudden she started stating that men and women have different papers in society. Then she asked me: – so when you have a husband and you two have a child, you both will take a maternity license? – of course mum! We both will be the parents, so why should I be the only one to take care of a child that took the two of us to conceive? – I don’t know where you’re going to find a man like that. I bet he’s going to be all girlish. That was the last word of our conversation, because after that I didn’t say a word. It made me so furious. I can’t believe how she can be a male chauvinist. I mean, why can’t I have my beliefs? And why can’t my beliefs differ from my parents’? This is why I am a feminist: because I’m not afraid to show people what I believe in and that’s not going to change.

Marta

Recently I discovered that my opinion on this subject makes me a feminist. So my mum came to pick me up and we were having a fine conversation when all in a sudden she started stating that men and women have different papers in society. Then she asked me: – so when you have a husband and you two have a child, you both will take a maternity license? – of course mum! We both will be the parents, so why should I be the only one to take care of a child that took the two of us to conceive? – I don’t know where you’re going to find a man like that. I bet he’s going to be all girlish. That was the last word of our conversation, because after that I didn’t say a word. It made me so furious. I can’t believe how she can be a male chauvinist. I mean, why can’t I have my beliefs? And why can’t my beliefs differ from my parents’? This is why I am a feminist: because I’m not afraid to show people what I believe in and that’s not going to change.

anon

we were going out, and I didn’t want to wear a dress, because I didn’t feel comfortable in wearing one that day and my parents just went ” but you are a girl don’t you WANT to be seen ? ” first of all i’m 25, second of all I just want to be comfortable

Sofia

I was having a fight with my mom about my sister, because my mom didn’t care if my sister studies or does well in school. My mom said: “She isn’t very smart, there are simple people too. She can always just get married and have kids and clean the house. Not everyone must be difficult like you, she’s just a simple girl”. I told my mom that she is stupid and that women and men are equal and should have the same opportunity and not be told by their parents from age 5 that they’re “simple” and should just marry and have kids. My sister was in the room and she heard everything and my mom always tells her that still