patronising

Elie

I have a few, might write some others later but here’s one. When I was around 12 I played for a mixed gender cricket club- I was the only girl though. One week when I went to training there was a new coach, male. We started playing and then it was my turn to bat, with the new coach bowling. I walked up and he said “don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you” with the sort of encouraging smile you might give to a very small child. I felt a sort of indignation and managed to hit the ball very hard over the boundary, at which point he sort of turned to some of the boys and went “oh, she’s alright” then looked back at me and told me “well done sweetheart”. I just felt patronised, and the condescending manner he spoke to me just made me feel so unimportant. Don’t speak to women or girls like this please guys

Hana

It was my dad’s birthday so my mum and I were treating him to breakfast at a restaurant. While we were standing in the line, we met an elderly couple; it turned out that it was the husband’s birthday today also. We chatted with them for a bit, payed for our food and then found a table. A few minutes later, the couple asked to sit with us. My parents said yes and for the next hour or so, we talked away with them while we finished our food. Eventually, we excused ourselves and said goodbye to the couple. I was happy just to smile and say goodbye or shake hands with them (like my parents had) but instead, the man got off his seat and came towards me, kissing me on the cheek. He didn’t do this to anybody else sitting at the table and his wife seemed a little embarrassed about it. I was angry and a little stunned. I hadn’t seen it coming at all. Afterwards, when I talked about it with my parents, they said I was ‘overreacting’ and that it was just a ‘generation thing’. They basically thought this was just typical ‘old man behaviour’ – almost like it was okay and acceptable. I found it disgusting and extremely patronising – what right had he to do that to me? It was so inappropriate. :/