Penis

There’s a too many events to list them all so instead I’ll pick out a few that have never left me and still come to mind regularly; – Coming downstairs one day when my dad’s lawyer and family friend was visiting the house. I was in my nightie. He lifted up my nightie and spanked my bottom calling me a ‘naughty girl’ for not wearing knickers. I was 8. My dad was watching. I cried and nothing was said. I ran upstairs and in my family the event was never mentioned again, the lawyer still continued to come round regularly. I always wore trousers. – I was 11 and had started to develop breasts before most of my peers, in trampoline club the teacher put his arm across your chest to support you while you learnt to flip. When it was my turn he avoided touching my chest and put his arm across my belly instead, I wasn’t properly supported by that hold and fell. It gave me very mixed signals about my body; that it was something shameful. – I was 12 and was at Proms in the Park with my dad and brother. We had a picnic blanket near the back. I walked around and went to the front nearer the stage. A man exposed himself to me and tried to grab my hand to make me touch his penis. I ran crying back to the blanket, no one asked why I was in tears. I was told I was ‘attention seeking’. – I was 14 and working in the village pub. My boss would regularly either walk behind me at the bar and brush inappropriately against me or if I walked behind him he would pretend to jump and tell all the customers I’d pinched his bottom because I fancied him. I went home crying from every shift. I told my dad, he did nothing. – I was 15 and a group of friends and I went to London to see a show. We were getting the tube back to Waterloo to get the train home and on the escalator a man put his hand up my skirt and grabbed me so hard I was bruised down there. My friend’s (mostly male, we were a group of 4 boys and 2 girls) didn’t believe me. My dad told me not to wear skirts in cities. – Aged 16-18 I got the train to college everyday. It was always just 6th form students and commuters on my train. The stares of the 50+ aged men as they walked along the train aisles or stood over me on the train always made me feel dirty before it was even 8am. – Aged 19 I was assaulted by a man while backpacking. These are just some of the events that have stood out to me. There are too many to list them all; every cat-calling, bum-groping, inappropriate stare, time I’ve been followed home or messages I have received online. Those things have blended into ‘normal’ life and part of what I expect (if not accept) as a woman.