self-worth

Briar

Thankfully I don’t have any stories of my own to share, and I am forever grateful for that at the age of sixteen. Despite this, however, I sit and listen to the majority of my female friends and acquaintances talk about whatever their most recent issue is and I feel almost left out from the female experience because no one has cat-called me, or touched me, or said anything degrading to me. Perhaps that’s a mark of my personality being so strong, or being a white girl in a majority Latina school, or carrying scissors with me for yarn working, but I can’t help but wonder sometimes if people just don’t read me as “feminine” or “female enough”. I’ve been told by the older women I value that I will probably be touched or assaulted or hopefully not raped in my college and later years, but I both detest and look to the day that that happens, as simultaneously the day I can kick someone that hurts me and as the day I understand the female experience. Lots of mixed feelings here and it freaks me out that I’d want to experience something horrible just to understand other’s daily lives. None of us should have to, and those who are lucky enough to stay safe shouldn’t expect to prepare for the day that safety is breached and finally understand what being a second-class human is.

Vanessa

I have only experienced a couple instances of being cat-called, and sometimes I catch myself thinking “why don’t men find me attractive?” because of it. Even though I know that cat-calling is gross and unacceptable, I still wonder why I seem to be missing out on this “universal experience” for women. It makes me feel like I’m not “woman” enough, and I feel horrible for judging my worth based on the number of men who shout something at me.