serving

Alison

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This happened about a year ago, back when I waited tables full-time, but it’s stuck with me: I had a table of two older men who were having a good time, enjoying a nice big dinner. They were very chatty and kind of flirtatious, but not creepy (yet). It was slow so I indulged them and talked with them more than I normally would. I was clearing their dinner plates and asked if they wanted to see a dessert menu. One of the guys (the older of the two, with a big paunch), gave me the up-down and said, “Are you on it?” As anyone who’s ever waited tables knows, those are the moments where your dignity and your desire to pay rent duke it out. I’m not sure if it was the best response, but I laughed at him and replied, “Even if I were, you couldn’t afford me.”

Mari

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I’m a waitress part-time and I’m nervous about going to work tonight because last week I was standing around (it was slow and we had 0 tables) talking with fellow servers (they all happened to be male) when recent gun violence and mass shottings came up in conversation. Amidst the Jew jokes I tried hard to overlook, the boys were commenting that kids with strict parents grow up and ‘go crazy’ and are probably the most likely mass shooters. I told them that i was raised conservative and consequentially had one year of ‘being crazy’ but didn’t kill anyone. I pointed out, ‘but then again, I’m not a man, so.’ They seemed shocked by the news that the majority of mass shooters are men and that men are more likely to be violent and/or madd shooters. They turned to the one black guy to clarify, ‘is that true?’ Because you know, if someone with a vagina says something political, you def need to clarify with a man to see if its true. Women, ya know. The black guy laughed mervously and confirmed the facts. The boys then changed the subject to gossip about all the whores and sluts they knew. It was gross and offensive, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was retaliation for making them uncomfortable.