shouting

Emma

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I was walking through the park and noticed a figure behind a tree. At first I thought it was a couple making out but soon realised it was a man who was probably urinating or touching himself in public. He saw me and shouted at me. He said, ‘Hey beautiful. Hey sexy. Hey Sharon’. That’s not my name but he just picked a random woman’s name. I ignored him and started to walk a bit faster to get way from him. He then laughed wildly, like a Disney villain laugh, and shouted ‘Are you going to run?’. I was so concerned by him and made to feel vulnerable, but also hugely angry that he knows exactly what he is doing. He knew what he was doing was making me feel unsafe, and yet he finds this funny. It’s not funny. It took away my enjoyment from walking around the park and makes me question every time I want to go for a walk again.

joann

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My husband is the best I can get and ours is a love marriage. But sometimes it really bothers me that he shouts sexist words when he is angry and leaves me wondering if I should get a divorce. But otherwise I can’t find anything bad on his part. Just that he doesn’t want to cook but insists I must. Want to write much more but I’m preoccupied with so many tasks he wants me to do. I just want to be a free woman who can sit and listen to music or read what she wants without getting called at least twice every minute.

Jane

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My next door neighbor shouts quite a bit. He shouts at his mother, his brother, the cars on the street, everything. Often he shouts obscenities. In my opinion the most disturbing thing he shouts about is “you women.” He will get into argument with his mother (or just begin berating her for not being able to find something) and it will eventually circle around to “you women.” “You women just want everyone to be nice,” “you women think men are all the same,” “you women just don’t get it,” etc. The implications of all of his “you women” comments are that the world is a naturally violent place for which we are unsuited. That we are all naive and require men to explain the world to us and to defend us from it. It seems that he yells at his mother about these things when he thinks she has forgotten it. When she is, to his mind, ungrateful for his protection. It is scary how he never lets any of this on when I speak with him. I have a small garden in the back yard/alley and he likes giving me gardening advice. His advice is unsolicited. I’d rather not speak with him. But when he does speak to me he is nice, polite, and seems to genuinely wish to help. In the back of my mind I’m there’s always the question “what does he actually think of me?” I suppose he views me as yet another woman who needs his protection. Part of me wants to speak to him about it (his emotional abuse of his family, his frightening behavior, his views), but I am scared. What will he do if I seem ungrateful?