sixth

anon

I was in the sixth grade. My friend, her brother, his friend and I went to a water park for the day, an the four of us came back to the friends house to spend the night. Her brother was sixteen, and his friend was almost eighteen, junior and senior. My friend and her mother had fallen asleep relatively early due to the long day of sun and water that came to an end. It was just me, Jon and Jimmy (Fake names). John was the brother who I had met a couple times and devolved a crush on. As the night became dark, the three of us remained in the living room and I watched them play Halo. They both had exclaimed to me that I was “Not a bitch” and “really cool to hangout with”, an “way more developed” then girls my age. I was gleaming due to (what I thought) were nice compliments. I kept thinking, maybe I am cool if they want to hangout with me, they’re so much older, and cool. At one point, Jon had got up to use the bathroom and sat down next to me after. He hung his arm around me, and pulled me close. My face flushed, what was happening? He started to rub my knee, making his way up in a matter of minutes. Jimmy broke his gaze from the game and said “Jon what are you doing? She’s so young.” Jon said, “Nah Jimmy, she’s cool. You wouldn’t rat on me, would you babe?” By instinct I shook my head. Later on, Jimmy sat on the other side of me. He started rubbing my leg also. I was confused, and getting scared. What was happening? Jimmy started grabbing my boobs, with Jon put his hands in my pants. Later they swapped. Let me remind you, I was twelve. I grew up in church my entire life, as I forgot to mention. I started thinking, women are submissive to men, right? And I did LIKE this guy, so I thought, so I let it continue you. I kept squirming, it hurt, I was nervous. I had never as much kissed a boy before. Hours with out exaggeration later Jimmy went to bed. And It was just Jon and I. He asked me if i wanted to watch a movie in his room. I followed him. His walls were a deep red, with a poster of girls in bikinis above his bed were we laid. I felt self conscious, I didn’t took like them. We laid there for a while as he returned his hand back into my pink flower printed underwear. Me legs shook, and lip quivered. We were going to sleep after the movie, because “I wasn’t giving it up” and he exclaimed to me what a “tease” I was. I laid in this bed, with this boy. Frozen in the position I laid. Scared to move, speak of breath, he grabbed my hand and placed it on his penis, rock hard and ready to go. I jumped, I never felt one before and didn’t know what to expect. He asked me, If I wanted to have sex. I said no. He asked again, and I said no. He got on top of me and I said “No” again. He laughed and said “Baby relax, I just want to taste those lips.” and kissed me. I was twelve and he almost hit all the bases in a matter of hours. After he got off of me, I rolled over, and told him I was tired and going to bed, again. After turning away from him, he turned his body facing me, he pulled down my shorts and pants, pushed down the opposite shoulder to the bed and got on top of me again. I started crying into the pillow, I didn’t know what was happening or how sex worked, but I knew I didn’t want to. I’m sure you connect the dots here… To make a long story short, I woke up the next morning and was silent. I never told her, my mother or hers anything. I asked my friends mom to bring me home. The next Sunday at church I was in tears at my seat. I had lost my virginity that I was supposed to be saving for my husband at twelve years old. I hadn’t hung out with that friend since. I saw Jon at the supermarket a few months ago after all these years. He was with a girl. I was standing in line when we made eye contact, then he grabbed the girls hand and ran off in the opposite direction. I hear rumors these days he’s in the Military. Apparently we need to do more thorough psych eval’s. Coincidentally, my current boyfriend went to school with Jon, always said he was one of the weird ones. Though one day he brought his name up, and we had a three hour discussion about this Jon. Apparently, Jon had talked to the guys at school about a girl significantly younger who he “fucked” and was into it.