Snapchat

adanna

I was having an argument with some boys from school about rape, and explaining to them why rape should be punished with jail time, and one of them proceeded to say “adanna, why are you talking? no one would want to rape you anyway” this was a year ago when I was 15

Another one

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in a small town in Australia. At 14 i began working at KFC. It was great I thought the minimum wage was amazing and I made friends with heaps of people. These were my friends so when they asked for my snapchat I gave it to them, it was all harmless and normal. One night at around 8 o’clock I was working with my friend Jacob, we were chatting and laughing like I would with all my friends, we were talking about my boyfriend and his girlfriend. I turned around to pack a customers order and I felt two hand grab my ass then something hard push into my butt and he trapped me between him and the table. I felt horrified and frozen. I had heard about people being harassed like this but after that I told myself it hadn’t happened to me, everyone told me that it was nothing. That night back at home felt like I had cheated, like I had done something wrong. I messaged him and asked why he did that and that I never wanted him to do that again. He told me that he couldn’t help it that I was so hot and it was just flirting. Until I watched the “every day sexism” Ted Talk by Laura Bates and found this website I realised that what he did was not right. Since I was 15 to now being 16 one of my managers at KFC (he’s 22) has been messaging me on snapchat. We are allowed to have our managers on snapchat and when he asked I felt I couldn’t say no. Sometimes when he snapchats me it isn’t of his face, it is of his undies and the very obvious outline of his boner. He asks me about my sex life and hints that he wants to have sex with me. I tried to ignore the photos and the questions and don’t answer when i can or say i have to go but I am afraid that he will make my work life horrible and although I could quit it would raise many questions with my parents and its not fair. Last night we were both working and i would catch him looking at my boobs and as it was cold he would say how my boobs must be warm. I should not feel unsafe at work because of him and I should not have to quit because of him. I want to report him but I don’t have any proof and I’m scared that he will be let off and people will think I lied and I’m “that girl”. I have told some of my friends both girls and guys and a lot of the time they laugh as if it is a joke. I hope one day we live in a world where there is no such thing assault of any level, because even though mine was a very low level it still has affected me for two years and will for most of my life.

Gwen

I was just having a funny snapchat convo with this boy in one of my classes about whether books were worthwhile or not and suddenly, after not saying anything for a while, he sends two words. suck me. I didn’t respond. I took a picture of it (not a screenshot, I used another device) and saved it so that I have proof. I am shaking at this point, in fact I’m still shaking now. I told my friend about it. I sent her the pictures I took, and she said “Haha. Ya. That’s funny.” Then she said she had to go. I said its not funny and asked if she had gotten them. The answer had apparently been yes. She said that “the last thing he had said was strange, but it was all really funny.” I suppose that could have been fair enough. The first part of the conversation had been funny. I asked her if she knew what suck me meant, because while I thought she did, she certainly wasn’t acting like it. She did know what it meant. I responded, “That’s not strange, that’s sexual harassment.” Because it was. She told me, “It’s fine. He’s a teenaged boy. That’s what they do.” I sent her a series of three texts after that. They read, “It’s not fine. They need to learn to control themselves. If they don’t now they never will.” “Next step, he’s older and hes yelling that at women across the street, maybe he’s even grabbing them or slapping their ass or something.” “There’s no excuse” She ended the conversation with “We can talk about this hilarious conversation tomorrow. I have to eat now. Bye.” and that was it. I felt violated and disgusting. Was I leading him on in any way? At all? I don’t think I was, but after this I dont feel sure. I was also disgusted and disappointed with how casually she treated it. It can’t just be treated as boys will be boys. It cant. If thats how we treat it then they could end up being a rapist, or at least sexually harassing women. It’s not okay, it’s never okay, and no age justifies it. This is how rape culture has affected people’s outlook on sexual harassment. This is not okay. This is never okay. I know I’m not the only one with a story like this. A lot of people have much worse stories. This needs to end. (I also posted this on tumblr)