specializing

Outfit Choices

I had just started a job as a sales coordinator at a hotel. I needed some business casual clothes, so my mom and dad went shopping with me. My dad approved of all the clothes, and he’s very conservative, so I figured I was good to go. Well, I wasn’t. A few months into the job we had a new female boss start, and she received a complaint from one of my male coworkers. She sat me down in my office with the door shut to talk about it. She told me that I needed to wear clothes that were more conservative because it was making men in the office uncomfortable. She referenced the skirts I wore, which were classic office pencil skirts at or in the middle of my knee…saying they were too short and tight. I lift weights and have naturally big thighs and butt, so everything looks tight and rides up. I pull the skirt down of course, because like yeah it’s weird having a bunched up skirt lol. She suggested some guidelines and places to shop, all of which I was already following (shop at the loft, knee length skirts, etc). She told me she doesn’t find anything wrong with what I wear, but “you know men, they’re gross. Boys will be boys.” This was the moment that my eyes opened. I had already made attempts to not gain attention or criticism from my coworkers because I knew my thighs were “triggering” (everything fits close to the body with muscular thighs). On top of it all, her boss…my dad… had approved of my outfits. I know better now that I can’t cater the way I look to others because it might make them “uncomfortable.” Reality is, if someone finds you attractive, they can say it makes them “uncomfortable” if they feel so inclined to. There was nothing wrong with what I wore, it was just a male coworker who was engaged… and felt like it was my fault for choosing clothing that made him attracted to me/uncomfortable.