strength

Ms S

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I’m 54 and a woman. I’m also a decent power lifter-elite standard for my weight. When I’m in the gym with my (young, male) training partner everyone gets out of our way, it’s nothing but respect. When I’m on my own, which is most days and I ask to share a lifting station with a man I’m frequently turned down, or I find that the equipment I need to use has been moved and not put back. I get stared at, and it’s not friendly, it varies from ‘I can’t believe she can do that’ to ‘I want her to leave’. Or there’s the questions-both to me and to my husband about who wear the trousers (obviously we both do, also shorts). I’ve been told the weights section of the gym is ‘for men’ and that ‘proper girls only come to the gym to make their arses bigger’. As far as I’m aware I can lift and press more than any other person, male or female in the place and yet every day I go in to train alone I’m made to feel like I don’t deserve to be there. I do all I can to encourage and support the other women who come in, but in spite of the fact I hardly have bulging muscles I have been told, by other women that weight training will make them bulky and unattractive to men-something which is untrue. Most days it’s all fine with me, some days, like today I just hate it. Why does everyone want women to be weak, quiet and decorative? Being strong in body feels great! But it’s a joy being denied to women because of an outright lie.

Zoey

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Arm wrestling in the office – Team Leader goes to the strongest looking men (but arguably all the men) and lets them know an arm wrestling competition is happening. I feel like I need to prove something because I was ignored. But a part of me is embarrassed about the possibility of standing out (which mini me would be horrified about), about the obvious doubts that will flower in people’s minds. By challenging this, I would be changing people’s views, even if I lost. My point is, I’ve been brainwashed to feel like I can’t take part in something that I want to & that I need to prove myself far more than any man. I’ve been trained to fear the doubts that others will have instead of challenging them. When did I become like this?

Clare Mosko

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My mother got an email from a friend at our church who was looking for someone to help move some boxes and furniture from a storage unit. The women asked if perhaps my younger 17 year old brother and one of his buddies wanted to take on the job for $10/hour. My brother was not interested but I, a fit 20 year old woman home for summer from college, was. I thought a male friend and I would be fit for the job so I responded to her saying a friend and I were up to the job. I promptly received a response declining my offer citing that: “this is more than boxes. It’s very heavy furniture. Thanks for the offer though.” Insulted, I responded clarifying that my friend was a male and was quite strong. She responded saying she thought it was a “gal pal” of mine, but still was hesitant about letting us do the work. A couple days later she said she would rather hire professional movers. She would rather spend more money than entrust a young woman with some heavy lifting.

Jessica

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Just remembered. Last year, me and a boy did arm wrestling. Everyone was totally expecting the boy to win, because, well, boys are usually stronger than girls (apparently). They were really surprised when I won, and the boy’s face was very red. I believe it serves him right. I earned respect from there on.

Fran

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My family and I were watching a film today (I won’t name it or the characters because spoilers), and there’s a badass female character in it. Now the actor playing this character happes to be very slim and tall, and she can fight very well and does so on many occasions in the film. She demonstrates intelligence, bravery and skill equal to the male characters and plays an essential role in the success of the team. So naturally, I’m enjoying the film (it’s a good film anyway). At one point, she’s fighting an armoured warrior, and she punches them several times and incapacitates them. The reaction of my family is immediately “no, she’s not strong enough to do that”. So we can have strong, capable female characters but they can’t be TOO capable, otherwise that would be ridiculous, right? It’s damn unbelievable. D:<

Amy

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I was helping a friend move last weekend. My brother was there too. There was a wall with many nails that needed to be pulled, so I took a hammer and headed for the wall. My brother then stopped me and stated, “He should be the one to pull the nails since he could do it better.” I told him I had done it before–I was perfectly equipped to pull nails from a wall. He then told me he was stronger, it would be more efficient if he did it because, “he’s a guy.” I was shocked. There was no way. I then hooked the hammer on a nail, looked him in the eyes, and pulled it with one pull. He then made the excuse that “He is taller so it would have been easier if he had just done it.” Nothing about being a girl is easy, so why should I take the easy road now? Not only I can pull stupid nails, but I can do amazing things. He argued that by proving I could do it and pulling the nail in front of him I was being condescending. Who was being condescending again? Him. I am so fed up with humans underestimating other human beings. Why am I the bad guy of this story?