This happend a few years ago but I only remembered it as I was looking back through some of my old diaries. My sister and I used to go to a club for 12-18 year-olds together. It was a mixed club and it was the only thing we really did with other boys. The boys running the club (who were around 15 at the time) would come up to my sister and poke the bun in her hair and say ‘Let me poke your buns’. Then they would also frequently talk about her breasts and then the other girls would take it upon themselves to try and prove to the boys that their breasts were ‘worthy’ or whatever by revealing their bra size. We also went to a larger overnight event with this club. During our free time before bed the 13+ year-old girls were showing each other the dick pics that boys in their class sent them so that they could compare them and have a laugh. This should not be shocking to most people my age (was 14 now 17). In England and other countries there seems to be this ideology among teenagers that if you lose your virginity early or the opposite sex wants to get with you because you’re pretty, it makes you valid and more grown up. I only hope that in the future these girls I used to know learn how to respect themselves and not put up with boys like this.
When I told my friends and family about being raped (I’m 14) I was told, “you’re a girl. It was probably consensual and you just regret it now.” “You’re a whore. You probably liked it” “You probably deserved it” and “shut up. You’re a girl which means you’re just looking for attention.” I personally didn’t know being a girl meant you wanted to be raped, that you deserve to be raped, or that everything you do is you being dramatic
I’m 13 and I’ve just finished reading the (amazing) Everyday Sexism book and when I told my mother that I’m going to be a feminist activist when I’m older, she replied “don’t try to change anything you can’t”. I’m going to prove her wrong. (While writing this by the way, i’m watching BBC news and they have just done a story on a Rabbi sending letters to Jewish women telling them how to dress. An example from the letter is “A blouse that is big enough so that the chest area cannot be distinguished should be worn.” Another “Skirts shall be 4inches or more below the knee”. I shouted at the TV “You’re not even a woman mate!”