the week i turned 12 in the 6th grade was a rollarskating week at my school. so during gym class when i was skating, my friend came up to me and told me that during math (we had separate math classes) that one of my classmates said if he could choose, he would rape me.
When I was just out of university, I worked at a large food retailer’s warehouse distribution centre. The job was to answer all switchboard calls and route them to various other departments, and do a small amount of admin. As a result, I had to sit in reception all day, where everyone would wander past on their way to various departments. One senior manager would flirt with me, pretty harmlessly I guess, and he was friendly. But, it was awkward for me. Every lunchtime, I wandered down to the canteen, to ensure wolf-whistles as I ate, and nudges from ALL the guys, and whispers, etc. It seemed – in this very male dominated workforce – they’d not grown out of the 15-year-old boy stage. They never quite got over the fact that I was the new girl, and this went on for months until I left. Theen, one charming day, someone came into the reception to warn me to be careful about one guy who’d been talking to the others about what he’d like to do to me: pull me bodily right across the reception desk and do me right there. I was extremely afraid and had to change my start and finish time, as we tended to come in and leave at the same time (a bizarre coincidence that had always made me uncomfortable, but then I knew why). I felt creeped out around this guy, because, as it turned out, he was a creep. He then came into reception, realising that someone had “told” on him, and explained what he meant. Which wasn’t helpful. I was so shocked, I couldn’t say anything. I’m almost 20 years older now, and it still makes my heart race with fear. Let’s stop with all the pretense that this is complimentary. This behaviour is all designed to induce fear.
When I was in college in an almost all female class there was this women who would constantly berate and demean me for being male. She would scoff at everything I did and then smile at me in this really nasty way that made it clear she was bullying me. None of the other women ever stepped in to help me. Typical example: I would be helping someone with their work in the studio and she would make strings of nasty scoffing comments about how a man could not possibly help put up a backdrop better than a woman. On one occasion I was removing a spider from the class at someone’s request when she moved in close to my way out and said “if you bring that thing close to me I’ll punch you”. Nobody seemed to think there was anything wrong with this.