Mrs. Neice
My uncle and I grew really close when I was in my late teens/twenties. I always felt so loved and well taken care of around him. We had a cute little banter going on because my uncle has a huge pot belly. Like wise, I have always had pretty large breasts. “boobs and belly” was our nickname that he gave to us. Our whole family new about it, it was a huge joke… or so I thought. Fast forward to year 25 and my parents, friends, and family were all together drinking. My uncle and I were in the kitchen alone, he was getting ready for bed and I was getting another drink. He gives me a big hug and kiss, and then sticks his tongue in my mouth. I pull back, completely unsure of what to do or how to act. He gives me another hug and goes to bed like nothing happened. I’m so shocked, but what do you do? This is my FAVORITE uncle! I continue drinking with the rest of the cousins and go to bed and pretend like it never happened. After all, he was drunk, so it’s probably nothing. Fast forward to year 27 my then boyfriend now husband meets my uncle for the first time and is immediately weirded out by him, but when he said something I brushed it off, “he’s always been like that. I’m his favorite niece that’s why.” I kept telling him. Year 28, my we run into Uncle at a public place and he yells “Boobs!!! Where did your hot boobs go?” (I had lost around 90 lbs by this time, and my boobs were significantly smaller) I don’t know why I felt so awkward that he had said that, specifically in front of my husband. But I brushed it off again because he was again, drunk, but my husband wouldn’t let it go. He kept explaining to me that it was wrong for him to speak to me that way and it made him feel uncomfortable to watch. Fast forward to last night – year 29- my mother and I are talking about feminism and how much we’ve learned and changed in the last two years. I casually mention something about my uncle and what my husband said about him. She tells me that had been going on since I was in my early teens. She always told him not to speak to me that way, and even went as far as to pull him aside at family functions to tell him not to sexualize me like that. Now I just look back at all the times we had together and I feel disgusted. The sexism is blatantly obvious now throughout our relationship and nearly every pet name and inside joke we have is about my body, or him sleeping with me. How did I go 29 years and not know this was happening? How did I think it was normal for so long? Now when I see him I just cringe and want to leave.