Uncomfortable

Jazz

I was 10 or 11, and he was 14 I think. It was in the end of the day, I had just come home from school maybe and hour ago. I was at home (brother,sister,father,and my dad’s friend were home too) I was walking down the hoiallway and I had just walked past my brother slightly opened door. When he called out to me, and I had nothing to do so I called back saying I was coming. I pushed open his door, and looked up at him. (He was lying on his bed, but it was a top bunk so I couldn’t quite see him.) he said he wanted to show me something, so I went up closer so I could see what he wanted to show me. When I went up closer I saw what I now know was an erect penis. (I went to a catholic primary school, and I didn’t know anything about male anatomy at the time) I’m not sure what I did, but I think I made a weird face, and I was totally confused. He put it away in his pants and showed me a stuffed toy that he cut a whole into, (I’m sure you can guess for what reasons) Most of the details and the rest of what happened i can’t really remember. Is all very foggy, and I remember feeling icky for the rest of the day, and days after that as well. I didn’t know it was wrong so I didn’t tell anybody. I truthfully thought it was normal. I remember looking at him and seeing him days after, and feeling weird and awkward. Now that I think about it there were other times where my brother acted very sexually around me. One time he smacked me in the bum. There was another times when he asked me to sit on his lap I can’t remember for what reason. I did. And when I sat down he pushed himself against my bottom. There were times he would say very degrading things, and just all around be inappropriate. There are other times Where I walked home from school and I would notice cars going a bit slower when they passed me in my wind-blown skirt. Or feel unsafe when a group of older guys would pass me on the street. It absolutely sucks to feel that way. I feel like i might have selective amnesia maybe about some things that have happened to me in my past because they were to traumatic to have at the front of my brain. And it took me a while to remember what happened. I only remember because I watched the Netflix show Sex Education. And there is a part in the series where Aimee (one of the characters in Sex Ed) gets jizzed on by a man in the bus. (I actually found this site through a video on Netflix’s YouTube channel about Aimee’s story) and it made me think of times I felt uncomfortable and unsafe, or weird. And then I remembered what happened and it made me feel sick. I don’t know what to do to about it. I’m not sure if I should tell someone. The most frustrating part is that my brain keeps trying to discredit what happened to me. Like did that really happen? You did this for attention? Blah! blah! blah! But I didn’t my brother did. He did it because he wanted a reaction. No I’m not sure what you would even class this as. I looked up (I looked this up after remembering what happened to me) similar things, and the closest thing I could find was indecent exposure. But the definition says it’s when someone displays sexual organs in a public area where it is not wanted. And I’m thinking in my head, well that didn’t happen to you jazz, it wasn’t in a public place, and maybe you did want it. I didn’t even know what a fucking penis was for crying out loud. what happened to me was wrong, and it is wrong. And also the thing is is that my brother was 14 when he did that to me, would he even have punishment or consequences at that age. And as a women I am conditioned to go. Oh well he was just young and dumb. And that it was a boy being a fucking boy. I am done. This needs to stop. I am horrified at what I have come to realise about the world at this time of writing this I am 14. At one of the things that makes me so mad is that no one knew. No one asked me while I was weird around him. No one knew what head done. That’s what sucked the most I felt fully alone. And now I know that I am not. That that feels so good. 😉 Ps, sorry this was so long. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Z

A kid in my grade, has a girlfriend, hitting on one of my friends. He has done this to multiple girls this year, while having the same girlfriend. Offhandly comments, ‘oh, she would be mad if she knew i was talking to other girls.’ Gives lewd winks and smiles to us, and when we get angry, ‘gals, I’m not mansplaining you, I’m just right’ says he is a huge supporter of gender equality. Yeah right. Nope. Prying into our personal lives, inquires about private group chats, says, “I’m your friend, that’s why it ok for me to know all about you.” Reached over to previously mentioned friend, pulls a hair, and says, “i’m gonna clone you. Maybe your clone will like me better” me and 2 other girls (both of whom he has hit on this year (cant help but think I’m next)) sit with him for 3 periods, and we are on a message stream together. We are in 6th grade. I do highlands dance, which requires complicated costuming, but a basic for all the costumes is a lace dicky pinned underneath the collar. At festivals and competitions, girls will walk around in just their bras and their dickies, with their kilts, because man, those black velvet jackets get hot! Well, apparently were hot without the jackets too. Men will get richer s to a competition or a Scottish festival just to stand around watching dancers stand around and warm up in sports bras with lace pinned to them, and swingy kilts with nothing on under but a pair of black booty shorts.

“Hello gorgeous”

I am a woman in my early thirties and I work as a journalist that specializes in Sports and Local news. I can’t really count all the times that a man whom I was interviewing or asking for information to, has greeted me with something similar to “Hello gorgeous” or “beautiful” or “baby”. It happens so often… and at first, I felt bad because it bothered me. A few months ago I had to call the press contact for a political group, who happened to be a man, a bit older than me. I didn’t expect this kind of behaviour because the group he represents supports the feminist movement and is pro-civil rights. But he promised to send me (by WhatsApp) some info that he could not provide at that moment. That’s when it began, probably because he saw my profile picture. Since then, every time we had to speak, by text or on the phone, he would start the conversation with a “hello gorgeous” and then proceed to try to talk me into going on a date. I have told him that we can’t go on a date because our relationship is only professional and that I don’t feel comfortable with his behaviour, but he does not seem to understand it. And I feel so powerless because I told my boss and he told me not to make so much fuss about it because he wasn’t “doing anything wrong” and asked me to be nice to this guy.

The Tales I Didn’t Tell About Madrid

I was visiting Madrid and at the airport while waiting for the metro, I met an old man (probably in his 60s) and started talking with him because I was feeling friendly and he didn’t really register as a threat, you know? So there was a little bit of a language barrier, which I was later kind of grateful for. Anyways, so we ride the first train together and get off at the same stop to transfer. During the ride, he sat next to me and kind of nudged me with his shoulder throughout, but I was alright with that, I guess. It was weird, but not threatening. Then, when we both got off to make our transfers, he asked me if I would like to come stay with him. He was saying things like it would be a good deal and I’ve always wanted to have sex with an American woman, and it really just caught me off guard. I was blindsided, because while I was looking for a human connection, he had apparently wanted sex with a young girl, and I had thought he was a harmless old man, but it made me feel gross. Anyways, I told him no, and he tried to convince me, asked me where I was going. I didn’t tell him (equivocated), and he starts following me, refusing to take my no as an answer, saying that he could come with me, that it would be nicer and cheaper for me to stay with him. I outpaced him and jumped on the first train I see, not caring which way it was going, just needing to get away from him. I ended up doubling back. And it really started to open my eyes that any man could be gross and thinking of me as a sexual being. I mean, comparatively, it wasn’t that bad of an experience, but it was kind of heartbreaking for me. I’ve never told that story before; when my family asked about my trip, I told them about all the amazing things I saw, but not about when I learned that more men than I had thought, older than I had thought…

Kim

I have my dog who I love dearly, and I walk him around my block every day because my mom thinks it’s “safe.” I usually wear sweatpants and a t shirt. Nothing fits me tight or is revealing. But every time I go to walk them I get catcalled at least once. It never got farther than that, until a few weeks ago. I was walking my dog and we stopped because this man has a dog about the same age and they both seemed to get along. He seemed friendly and we just stood there when we started talking about the dogs. They were simple things like the breed, the dog food they eat, their age, and so on. He was slowly coming closer to me, and I soon became uncomfortable. So I called my dog and told him it was time to go, and we started walking home. We were walking down the sidewalk when he caught up to me and told me that he was going the same way, and I knew he was lying because we were going in opposite directions. I just nodded my head and continued walking when his hand reached for my butt. He grabbed it like it was nothing. That was when I told him to back off. He told me that I was making a fuss out of nothing and he went to grab my breasts. I tried to run, but I couldn’t get away seeing as he was much bigger than I was. My dog saw that I was trying to get away, and he started to bark. The people who lived in the house we were by looked out the window and saw what was going on and came out as well. Thankfully it was a woman and she told him to back off or she was going to call the cops. She asked me of I was okay and offered to walk me home. She walked me home, and luckily didn’t tell my parents what happened. Ever since then I have refused to walk him anymore. My brother is the one who walks him now. I’m only 13 years old.

Amelia

Over the summer I ‘grew up’. I now wear a C cup, but because I’m thin, it looks bigger. I’ve been walking down the street in my town and have had grown men stare at me, and it is very uncomfortable. At school, there have been guys who make me feel the same way. Women are not things to look at. I think that if I were brave enough to make a stand then that would be better. Just because that sacks of fat on my chest are noticeable doesn’t mean that you should pay more attention to ‘them’ than to me.

Maya

I work as a host on canal boats in my city. Sometimes we hire people from outside the company to help out or be a cook. Yesterday there was a cook I hadn’t seen before but I started working right away so when I spotted him my hands were full and I told him I’d be right back to properly introduce myself. Our interaction started of by him saying ‘A wink would be fine too’, following his words with a wink. This made me feel awkward, but I thought I’d let it pass because I had things to do and it was just like ‘oh okay’. Later on I was leaning out a window for a few minutes and when I ducked back to get back in, he was behind me suddenly. So I bumped by behind right into him. I said ‘Oh I’m sorry’ and he just went ‘Yeah, you kinda have to look out with a big butt like that’. At that point our guests were on board and I couldn’t start a scene but I did mention it to the guide and the captain who said that if he kept going, they’d make a point out of it. Anyway, the tour went on, everything was fine, I went upstairs to wash some of the last things and when I came back our guide told me she spent 5 minutes with him alone and he pretended to trip and fall so he could grab on to her. I mean???? So we both send an email and he won’t be hired again. TL;DR I got someone on the black list within 24 hours of harassing 2 of the crewmembers I wasn’t down for that