unsafe

sarahh

My girlfriend today was sent an incoming video call on WhatsApp. She assumed it was a contact and answered. It was a man wanking. We reported and blocked it. We aren’t aware of anything else we can do. We’ve not seen any information about this – how much of an issue it is, what can be done about it. Once again we feel alone in a world where we are a majority gender.

Z

A kid in my grade, has a girlfriend, hitting on one of my friends. He has done this to multiple girls this year, while having the same girlfriend. Offhandly comments, ‘oh, she would be mad if she knew i was talking to other girls.’ Gives lewd winks and smiles to us, and when we get angry, ‘gals, I’m not mansplaining you, I’m just right’ says he is a huge supporter of gender equality. Yeah right. Nope. Prying into our personal lives, inquires about private group chats, says, “I’m your friend, that’s why it ok for me to know all about you.” Reached over to previously mentioned friend, pulls a hair, and says, “i’m gonna clone you. Maybe your clone will like me better” me and 2 other girls (both of whom he has hit on this year (cant help but think I’m next)) sit with him for 3 periods, and we are on a message stream together. We are in 6th grade. I do highlands dance, which requires complicated costuming, but a basic for all the costumes is a lace dicky pinned underneath the collar. At festivals and competitions, girls will walk around in just their bras and their dickies, with their kilts, because man, those black velvet jackets get hot! Well, apparently were hot without the jackets too. Men will get richer s to a competition or a Scottish festival just to stand around watching dancers stand around and warm up in sports bras with lace pinned to them, and swingy kilts with nothing on under but a pair of black booty shorts.

Cheryl

My sister and I were standing in the driveway when a truck full of construction workers passed us and one yelled out of the window “Hey, how’s it going”. I know it isn’t necessarily a rude thing to say, but the circumstance, me being seventeen years old and my sister being thirteen, was disgusting. We obviously were not going to start chit-chatting, he was catcalling two minors who both look our proper age, if not younger.

Taking a Stand

I’m currently working in a Wellbeing charity for a few months now and initially things were great in the organisation. However, after my female manager went on annual leave the CEO of the charity started to touch me inappropriately (such as stroking and rubbing my lower back, hands on my shoulders, squeezing) bullying and intimidation and invasion of my personal space as well. I later found out that his ‘touching’ was an ‘open’ secret in the organisation and he did it to many women. I felt disgusted that this CEO in his very late 50s, a married man was doing this to young women and vulnerable volunteers in this wellbeing charity. It was unwanted touching and I voiced my disgust and said ‘No’ and physically flinched from his unwanted gestures. I was quite shocked and did not report it initially as I thought it would stop once my manager was back. It did not unfortunately. I’ve had to take out a grievance as a last resort and although it is stressful and has caused me much stress and anxiety I strongly feel it was and is the right thing to do. Do not let anyone in a position of power do this to you, it’s unacceptable and illegal (please research Laws in your country and seek advice from employment help lines, I have found ACAS in the UK very supportive). I do not know the outcome of this grievance as the Board of Trustees Chair has yet to make a decision, I suspect much like the Jimmy Savile incidents in the UK they will be keen to sweep it under the rug. However, whatever happens I know I took a stand and said ‘NO’ and I hope and trust other people will also begin to say ‘NO’ to sexual harassment in the workplace.

Bev

I am a university student working weekends at a night club in a city, so I am no stranger to harassment. However, one night in particular saw two consecutive incidents that made me feel genuinely worthless. First of all (not that it matters) I was covered from head to toe in black clothing, the only skin visible was my head in which I had a pair of large dark headphones. To say I was not provocatively dressed is an understatement. At about 2am I began was walking towards my bus stop when a man walked towards me, grabbed me, lifted me off my feet and proceeded to bring me over to a group of his friends. He told me he loved me and that I was the most beautiful thing he had seen. Not only did I feel out of control I just felt generally powerless and unsafe. I did not find it as funny and jovial as he or his friends did and once he had put me down he tried to reason with me and shake my hand. As I reached forward with me hand he attempted to pull me in for a hug and subsequent kiss. About 10 minutes later as I stood waiting for the bus another man similarly about 15-10 years older came over to me and asked for a lighter. I responded politely that no I couldn’t help him, all the while leaving my headphones on. This man was evidently intoxicated and stood inches from my face. He showed no regard for my disinterest in talking to him and he stayed for a long time questioning me. He asked me from what part of the country I was from and acted surprised when I told him because he ‘didn’t think there were good looking girls’ from where I was from. During these two incidents not one person batted an eye or intercepted. I mean, what was I to expect as a female teenager walking the streets late at night on my own? I understand that a lot worse has happened to young women but I think that over years of feeling objectified and having these things happen completely out of my control scared me greatly.

Cassie

I generally get mistaken for being older than I am (I’m 17 but usually I hear that i look 19-24). Guys way older than me (even up to more than twice my age) use that as an excuse to make the most vulgar comments about how they want to fuck me, send me dick pics, or other things along those lines. Then when I say that I’m a minor they still act like they were completely justified in their act. Nobody should be getting those kinds of things said/sent to them, never the less by someone old enough to be their father.