verbal harassment

Anna

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I was doing a workout in a public park when a man began yelling about my “nice ass” from the complete other side. He kept going on about my body and my exercises while the many park-goers (sunny Saturday in London) stood witness. Rather than continue to be publicly harassed in this way, I yelled back for him to stop, adding my own profanities. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t stop at my request, but he did stop when my husband returned from running a lap around the park shortly after. The man must have found his courage in thinking I was a lone female. When I later ran a lap and went past him, he said nothing. But the next time my husband ran past him, he apologised to my husband.

Anna

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I was doing a workout in a public park when a man began yelling about my “nice ass” from the complete other side. He kept going on about my body and my exercises while the many park-goers (sunny Saturday in London) stood witness. Rather than continue to be publicly harassed in this way, I yelled back for him to stop, adding my own profanities. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t stop at my request, but he did stop when my husband returned from running a lap around the park shortly after. The man must have found his courage in thinking I was a lone female. When I later ran a lap and went past him, he said nothing. But the next time my husband ran past him, he apologised to my husband.

Julie

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I count myself lucky to have avoided more serious sexual harassment, but even with “doing everything right” (basically being a non-sexual amoeba), I still had males treat me with less than the respect I deserve as a human being. There were a few incidents in the past, but I had the dubious honor of having the following encounter with some young men: They were visitors to our house: 3 young men, I’mma guess high school age? At first they asked if a “Ben” lived here; I said no, sorry. Instead of leaving, they confirm the address and elaborate, “Ben doesn’t live here? Ben Dover?” Props to the guy trying to give a nonchalant performance, but his friends couldn’t help but snicker. I never have smart retorts and just wanted them to leave, so I repeated that he doesn’t live here and closed the door. I just.. I didn’t know what to say. Though I wonder if they knew a woman lived in this house or if they just randomly picked houses. This is so mild, all things considered. But I was and am sad. They’re so young and yet humiliating women is already considered a fun sport. I hope I won’t have to add any new stories, but I’m so glad to have found this site!

Hannah Roo

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I was so angry afterwards that I don’t even remember what he said. It was the angriest I’ve felt in response to a street harassment incident. It might be because I expected myself to respond in a way that told him off, and I didn’t, so I felt like I’d failed, failed to tackle the problem and bring about change. I felt shocked, surprised, and aware of the power imbalances of a male in a car vs a woman on foot. I wanted to run after the car and tell him how annoyed I was and how inappropriate it is to harass people. The car stopped at the end of the road, providing me with the opportunity to respond if I’d been quick enough, but I felt I couldn’t, and was scared of a violent reaction from him. Playing it back in my head, I even imagined that he could have threatened me with rape if I had run after and challenged him. It also annoyed me as it happened twice, within ten seconds. Two different men in two different cars. I didn’t respond to the first incident as I wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking to me, as he could have been on the phone in his car – although I couldn’t see evidence of this. He just said ‘gorgeous’ and nothing else. After looking round to check if it was to me, I wasn’t sure, but shook my head as I walked away, just in case. I felt frustrated that a daily decision I make as a woman is to weigh up whether what am wearing will increase the likelihood of harassment. Why shouldn’t I wear shorts to the gym?

The Tales I Didn’t Tell About Madrid

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I was visiting Madrid and at the airport while waiting for the metro, I met an old man (probably in his 60s) and started talking with him because I was feeling friendly and he didn’t really register as a threat, you know? So there was a little bit of a language barrier, which I was later kind of grateful for. Anyways, so we ride the first train together and get off at the same stop to transfer. During the ride, he sat next to me and kind of nudged me with his shoulder throughout, but I was alright with that, I guess. It was weird, but not threatening. Then, when we both got off to make our transfers, he asked me if I would like to come stay with him. He was saying things like it would be a good deal and I’ve always wanted to have sex with an American woman, and it really just caught me off guard. I was blindsided, because while I was looking for a human connection, he had apparently wanted sex with a young girl, and I had thought he was a harmless old man, but it made me feel gross. Anyways, I told him no, and he tried to convince me, asked me where I was going. I didn’t tell him (equivocated), and he starts following me, refusing to take my no as an answer, saying that he could come with me, that it would be nicer and cheaper for me to stay with him. I outpaced him and jumped on the first train I see, not caring which way it was going, just needing to get away from him. I ended up doubling back. And it really started to open my eyes that any man could be gross and thinking of me as a sexual being. I mean, comparatively, it wasn’t that bad of an experience, but it was kind of heartbreaking for me. I’ve never told that story before; when my family asked about my trip, I told them about all the amazing things I saw, but not about when I learned that more men than I had thought, older than I had thought…

A

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I’m at a frat party in college with my roommate and a friend. It’s my first one; I’ve avoided them up until this point because of their reputation, but I’ve decided to keep an open mind and go to at least one. We’ve arrived a bit early, so the some of the fraternity pledges are still setting up. As I’m standing on the balcony where the party is taking place, I hear one of the pledges say, “There’d better be enough hoes at this party.” Then, he yells to his friend, “Hey, go pick up the keg and some hoes!” I am immediately stunned by the implications of what this guy has just said. In his mind, are women material goods in the same vein as alcohol? Are we not human beings but simply objects to be “picked up” & moved around like cattle, used to improve the fraternity’s social standing? I stay there for another hour but feel extremely uncomfortable and even unsafe the entire time, wondering what the men at the party are thinking about me and the other women present.