waitressing

Mari

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I’m a waitress part-time and I’m nervous about going to work tonight because last week I was standing around (it was slow and we had 0 tables) talking with fellow servers (they all happened to be male) when recent gun violence and mass shottings came up in conversation. Amidst the Jew jokes I tried hard to overlook, the boys were commenting that kids with strict parents grow up and ‘go crazy’ and are probably the most likely mass shooters. I told them that i was raised conservative and consequentially had one year of ‘being crazy’ but didn’t kill anyone. I pointed out, ‘but then again, I’m not a man, so.’ They seemed shocked by the news that the majority of mass shooters are men and that men are more likely to be violent and/or madd shooters. They turned to the one black guy to clarify, ‘is that true?’ Because you know, if someone with a vagina says something political, you def need to clarify with a man to see if its true. Women, ya know. The black guy laughed mervously and confirmed the facts. The boys then changed the subject to gossip about all the whores and sluts they knew. It was gross and offensive, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was retaliation for making them uncomfortable.

Penguin

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While completing my degree I worked several part-time jobs, and the most important thing I have taken from them is that if you are a waitress, you will be bombarded with sexist and disrespectful comments on a regular basis and management will care more about the money than about protecting their workers. My first job was at a 5* hotel, where I would be whistled at, winked at, given invitations to go back to men’s rooms and openly groped at while going around collecting plates and glasses. The managers insisted that I not make a fuss about it, because these people were paying lots of money to stay in the hotel. A few years later I started a waitressing job at a small establishment, thinking it would be different and the management would not tolerate this sort of behaviour. I could not have been more wrong. Last week I was the lone waitress for a table of 12 middle-aged men on a golfing trip. Within three minutes I’d already had several comments made about how “pretty” I was, and how the other waitresses “must be jealous” of how I looked. I bent over to pick up a menu and was told by the man in front of me “thanks for treating me” – I wasn’t wearing anything remotely close to a low cut top. Streams of comments about my breasts and bum continued throughout my time serving them. One of the group tried to hold onto my hand and lean in to my chest as he ordered his food. As they continued to drink their behaviour just got more and more raucous, to the point where they began chanting “you’re fit and you know it” as I walked away from them. Shaking with rage, I went back to the bar and spoke with the owner – who found it hilarious. He told me to bear it and “think of the tips”. I left that job the next day.