wedding

Ella

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I was 14 when I went away for the weekend with my former best friend and her family for a wedding, it was a camping wedding and no cell service in the area. My friends cousin had been hitting on me all day before the ceremony talking about how “good my boobs looked framed in my dress” and how grown up I looked. I brushed it off and continued on with my day but later he got drunk And started to grab my thighs, boobs and ass saying how fuckable I looked. I never told my friends mom because I didn’t want to ruin her wedding and when I told my friend she defended him and told me that I was making a scene and not ruin her mom’s wedding. I wanted to call my boyfriend my mom, my dad, anyone but I couldn’t I felt trapped. He was 21 and I was 14

Laureen

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I am married to a man. We spent a year preparing our wedding. I kept hearing a few friends and people from businesses saying that as a bride it was MY day. What about him? He’s paying for half of it and I’m not marrying myself ! It was OUR day.

April

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I recently got married. It was an amazing day full of love. But here was our checklist: food, flowers, beer, officiant, family, friends, police officer. The police officer was there to ensure my long ex-boyfriend stalker didn’t show up. Given that he was still stalking me after years, upped his game since our engagement, keeps an arsenal under his bed, and is hella creepy, we felt it necessary. I still can’t believe how ridiculous it is we had to have a police officer at our wedding. I had no options in my state for a restraining order because I hadn’t been in an “intimate relationship” with my stalker for years. That long elapsed time was too long for the state to give me a restraining order but sure wasn’t long enough for him to stop stalking me. I did everything I could do to get information, get a restraining order, talk to our domestic violence shelter, get the police involved. But the people around me who knew made things so hard by treating me like a child. I found out that to “protect me” friends didn’t tell me about stalker’s escalating talk and crazier behavior until three days before the wedding. (I live in a small town–people knew.) One of his family members called to warn me, but wouldn’t help me by talking to the police. I found out later to “protect me” no less than four people were packing guns at our wedding. His mother contacted me repeatedly (kinda stalker like) to tell me to stop spreading lies about her son. Some thought I had pre-wedding hysterics. By not believing me and treating me like a child, they kept me from the information I needed. They didn’t let me decide how to handle this, which is crazy–I had the most “experience” be stalked by this particular dude. Is this everyday sexism? Yes. Women get stalked every single day–birthdays, Mondays, wedding days. For me it is every day. It is still happening.

Soon to be married

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I have to admit, I am a man. Please don’t think of my negatively for posting this, I am not trying to complain, more just sharing a story which opened up my eyes to the kind of behaviour which is normally, unfortunately, directed at women. I am soon going to be marrying my fiance, I am very excited and am can’t wait for the day. In arranging my wedding, I’ve reached every decision with my fiance, we haven’t always agreed on everything, but I’m sure we’ll get there. I’m just astounded at the amount of sexism there is both at men and women in everything relating to weddings. I could do a really simple enquiry about something quite basic like asking the cost of paper for invites, and people ask me things like, “what does the bride think?”, thereby completely disregarding anything I say until she gives the OK. This has happened with several vendors who sells wedding services that I contacted for quotes. Don’t even get me started on the amount of rubbish surrounding the Stag and Hen night. To me, the assumption that I’m getting married just to have a stag do with a stripper is wild! Not only the pressures to drink, the pressures to ‘perform’ on the wedding, the list is endless. I really do wish I could do away with a lot of this crap, and I hope we get to move past some of this ruddy silly behaviour.

Rebecca

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I was a bridesmaid at a wedding for two of my good friends. It had been a great day and I had been dancing with friends. I needed a break so i walked over and got something to drink. On the way back a man i have never met lifted the bottom of my dress up. I was shocked and scared and before i knew it I had slapped him. Other men were around him and saw what he did. They did nothing. After that I went to my friend, the groom, to tell him what happened. I thought he would know the guy and could have someone talk to the man. Instead what I got was “just stay away from him”. That was literally what i was told. It’s seared in my brain. My friend, who I have known for years, trusted beyond many, who asked me to be part of his wedding told me this. I’m sure he has forgotten it, but it still hurts me to such a point i don’t talk to him often anymore. Nothing ever happened to the man that attacked me, no one so much as took him out of the area. Who knows who else he did it to. I was too hurt or shocked to do much after that. Sadly that wedding is no longer a happy memory. Yes I did slap him, but in the end I would bet anything that man did this before and did it again. I’m ashamed that all i did was slap him. I just hope it stops hurting one day.