woman

Anonymous

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I had to deal with an old man being condescendant with me and using his mansplaining this whole week. At first I thought he was like that,but he will do it most of the times just with me, and when he was explaining something (he was the traineer) he will just look at me, when he looked for a confirmation of what he was explainig he will look at men, giving the sensation that just because they are man they already know everything,even though one them I remember had less experience than me in the sector that we were applying to work.What’s more, if I asked a question,I would ask for clarifications about something that he said,but he will spend one minute of explanation of everything that has been said before, but I already knew that, didn’t need the whole explanation of the section that we were doing.Many times I had to say ”yes, I understand” about an answer that he was giving me and he will continue explaining assuming that I am a fool.Many times a word will come out and he will ask to me,to no one else, if I know that certain word or concept and me, with a blank face,say: Yes of course!. Whenever I made the slighliest mistake he will make it big, or even emphasize it by smiling and saying out loud, You forgot about it? many times he was just assuming that I was writting wrong something and he wanted me to do it in his own way, I had to say ‘i just want to do it in that way,it works for me’ or ‘ I already did it’and then he will stop.He can’t accept his mistakes,specially when they come from a young woman,he would assume he has the power of knowledge and that a twenty something girl like me has nothing to say about his way of teaching, and that would be ok if he wouldn’t have been making mistakes all the time. Why some men feel attacked when a woman,specially if she is younger than them, corrects them or points them out their mistakes? It’s so easy to say,’hey I am wrong, thanks for letting me know’and what is more, you learn about your mistakes and you won’t be able to make them again.

Tara

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I remember a particular incident back in my first year of university. It was the day of my first Philosophy test. I was nervous and decided to boost my confidence going in by dressing up a bit. I did my makeup nicely and wore a sexy, low-cut, red shirt and jeans. Before it was time to wait outside the test venue I went and got a coffee with a male classmate. We discussed the content that was to be tested and agreed to go and grab a drink after the test as a reward for our efforts. As we stood outside the test venue, a few other classmates joined us. One girl and another guy. I left the group for a moment to quickly run to the bathroom. When I came back, the male classmate, that I had got a coffee with, had separated himself from the group. I walked up to him and asked him why he was suddenly alone. He responded with “you know that girl that came to stand with us? As soon as you left she whispered to us: “damn, I’m a straight girl but even I found that disgustingly distracting’ – and she said it while gesturing to her chest area.” He responded to her comment with “well, she is a young lady expressing her sexuality and she looks damn confident and beautiful doing it. If you’re distracted, that’s your problem, not hers”. He then left the group. Needless to say, I went and got a drink with him after the test (that I killed, by the way) and he has been my boyfriend for the two years since that day.

Deanna Alvarado

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I like to believe I am a very vibrant human being. I believe in the word and action ‘excelsior’, or taking all the negativity and turning it into fuel to find the positivity; to find a silver lining. However, it is an extremely tedious task when there is a population of boys- (I refuse to call them men) who feel for some unknown reason, that they are entitled to my space. That they have this privilege to not only stare at woman like they are meat and nothing more, but to open their degrading and disrespectful mouths and yell out derogatory statements. A vibrant person should have the right to walk 3 classrooms down and heat up her lunch and feel safe in practicing that right. But instead I sit in a classroom with little to no people eating cold spaghetti because I feel powerless and small when I do it. When I walk to the microwave I get told to rest my backside against the wall so the people behind me will stop staring at my ass. And when I turn to look, see an entire group of boys staring at me like an object. Or today, April 18, 2017, I walked out of my classroom and a boy gestured at me and nonchalantly told his friend “that bitch has a fat ass.” I responded with “my name is Deanna not bitch” but even so it was beyond infuriating and made me want to punch him in the face because I know the pain of my fist would not be nearly as painful as what he said was. It was an unparalleled frustration. I left the room shaking in fury and saw my friend David who I have even more respect for because of the amount of respect he has for woman. I told David what I thought and felt about him in that moment, “David, you respect woman so much and I know it’s a really prevalent quality in your personality and I just want you to know I respect and appreciate that.” I praised him for it. Then it hit me, I praised a man for doing something all men should do everyday, all day. Respect woman. Not make the vibrancy dissipate because they were never taught to speak. Not make them feel powerless. Not make them think it’s their fault for wearing leans too tight, or a tank top in 80 degree weather. Not make them run to their next class with a red hot face full of tears. Not allow her to walk to and from class or heat up her lunch without being sexually harassed. When I spoke about this hours later I was told by David that maybe I “should have a guy heat up my food instead next time.” I was told by my mom to “heat up my lunch before leaving for school in the morning because it’ll be cold but not as cold and you won’t have to deal with all that.”

John B

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It happened while I was on campus talking with some friends of mine. A few new faces joined our conversation which had turned around sex and politics and one of the new people, a girl, shared how she thinks all men are rapists and sexist. It wasn’t bad just because she was sexist but also because I have been sexually assaulted before.

Yasmin

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At a stand-up comedy gig in Shepherd’s Bush. I was the only woman in the room and was relentlessly picked on by the comedians, who would not stop telling me how “gorgeous” I was. One asked whether I was dating the male friend I had come to support, when told no my friend was advised to simply “keep trying”. Another said to the whole room that I was “a woman worth dying over, or at least spraining a wrist over” and received thunderous laughter from the audience. I left feeling utterly humiliated. Was I supposed to find that funny?