Work

Fed up

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Today at work I called a meeting for a project I am responsible for and that I work on with two male colleagues. One of them is hot headed and goes in moods whenever he receives constructive feedback on his work. Not only is this unprofessional but I am ashamed to say I have been trying numerous ways of giving feedback to try to make it easier for him and nothing that I do ever works. Why should I be modifying my behaviour to accommodate this angry man when clearly it is his issue to deal with. Anyway a few minutes into the meeting my colleagues started discussing another project which they are both working on. I waited for an appropriate moment to say “Okay, back to what we were talking about…” while one of them continued to send messages on his phone about his other project. I then mentioned that I would be reviewing work this week and I understood that people don’t always like going back to work and making changes but it is just part of the process. The angry man replied that this was only an issue when the instructions given by me are not clear. He completely ignored my point and assigned blame to me before anything had actually happened. A few weeks earlier he had stormed over to my desk demanding that I modify his work myself because it had been on my screen. Why can certain men not handle a situation where a women is giving them instructions. It’s pathetic. I have never enjoyed this. I don’t know where women get the reputation as being emotional because in my experience I have only ever encountered emotional men at work. All of the women I work with just do their jobs without any drama. Why do men get away with behaving like this? What is wrong with the world.

Anon

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After several years in a prominent position in a nonprofit, I applied for an executive level position. The skill required was very high, and I was the only person in the organization who had any education in the skill required and I knew I was desired for the position. I interviewed in front of a twelve person panel, and inevitably the topic of the deplorably low salary being offered came up. One of my male coworkers, attempting to persuade me to accept the low pay, said, “but think of what a position like this would do for your resume, as a woman!” I left the company but regrettably didn’t file a discrimination suit. I was basically asked to work for a fraction of what the role was worth, implying I needed to compensate for being female and maybe “improve my station” in the future in spite of it.

Tired of Business

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I wish people would be honest about females in business… that we will just get scammed or ignored left, right. No $ Why don’t they teach in business schools that girls have harder time in business? Instead, if we assume, then we must have issues. Actually it’s prob sexism.

Nicole

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I work in a coffee shop on my own and usually will be pleasant enough to almost everyone. However there are those who push your buttons. I was having a decent conversation with this man (who was about 25 years older than me) and out of nowhere he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. All of a sudden he was saying he was gonna take me out and treat me like a real man would. How sexy my body was, how good I looked. I responded saying no sorry you’re not my type. He Then proceded to get offended and suggested I was racist. I had to tell him it wasnt his race that bothered me, it was his gender lol. I’m gay. Despite this he continued and said he could turn me straight. No I don’t want to “be turned straight” no I dont find you attractive and no you’re not entitled to me because you find me attractive. And no I don’t need a boyfriend to let you know I’m not interested. Also. Go away I’m at work and don’t want to be harassed.

Catherine

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When I used to work as a lifeguard (recently quit as I couldn’t handle being the workplace object), I went for a swim after working a shift. My colleague was lifeguarding and wearing the wrong colour socks for our uniform, so as I was in a good mood I decided to joke around and tell him ‘you’re not supposed to be wearing those socks’, to which his response was ‘I’ll only take orders from you when you’re wearing a white bikini’.

Victoria

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I’m an assistant manager in a bank, assisting customers with transactions & account servicing and supervising a team of 10. I can’t count how many times I’ve had a customer, usually male, tells me to smile. I have never, not even once, seen or heard any customer say the same thing to any of my male associates. I’ve also had both male & female customers refuse to speak with me about loans, instead deferring to one of my male associates. Then they are suddenly surprised when an associate calls me over to answer a question or clarify a policy or procedure.

L

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Seems so standard. But I’m posting as I want to know how other women handle this – is there a good phrase they use to shut it down? It’s happened twice in last two weeks at significant meetings….ideas please! It goes like this and I suspect is sadly familiar to lots of people; 1. Unclear or contentious discussion point 2. I am only female in meeting 3. I make a point that is constructive and insightful 4. Male colleague repeats back what I have said 5. Male colleague is thanked and praised for his (my) contribution by someone more senior Should I call it out at that point? Should I have a word afterwards? Feels like I can’t win what ever tactic I use….

Hailey

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While walking in New Haven, CT right next to the Yale Hospital, a friend and I had gotten comments about our ass. Two days ago on Long Island, I was canvassing door to door for a possible future congresswoman-and a guy started honking his horn. It took me a minute to realize it was at me. He continued to honk then wave. It was uncomfortable. I don’t experience as many offences at some other women, but believing that it could have been worse is a part of the problem.

anon

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So I caught my older nephew calling my younger nephew a girl for throwing a tantrum. My younger nephew is only 6 and already thinks that pink is a ‘girl’s colour’. His school makes girls wear pink dresses everyday and his baby sister who is only a few weeks old and every piece of clothing is pink. As a tomboy this is infuriating. My niece and nephew are being taught to see men as stronger and less emotional and women as weaker and more emotional before they even learnt to speak. Also as I am female I expected to be good with children and get emotionally blackmailed and guilted if I don’t want to babysit. I don’t want children and I am not ‘girly’ that way but people put so much pressure on me to conform to certain behaviours that male relatives are exempt from. If I don’t send birthday cards and gifts I am a social outcast but male relatives don’t have to even write a card. In job hunting they try to push me towards traditionally female/care giving roles and service roles despite my having the wrong skillset for it. I would be better in more traditionally male fields but because at 34 I still look like a little girl because I am petite it’s assumed that I should be in ‘female’ roles. I’m frankly so tired of it and so demotivated. All the women I know work in crappy low paid service roles while all the men work in warehouses, business or trade occupations and get good wages. I feel cheated by society. Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that women get screwed over in terms of career. No woman I know who has worked full time for their entire life can afford a house or pension yet all the men I knoe have wages that let them provide for their families. I feel like society doesn’t even allow women to survive alone and that we are forced into submission to relationships because of economic reasons. We are not equal at all.

Sara

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In business meetings, comments being addressed primarily to the male participant despite me being his senior.