Workplace

Anon – Ireland

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When I was 19 I got my first real job in a hotel. I was living away from home for the first time and I felt so mature and grown up. All the female staff were expected to wear make up and be ‘well groomed’. I thought I had it made. There was a manager who everyone liked, he was always smiling and ready to do you a favour, and he took every opportunity he could to grope and harass me. I tried to avoid being alone with him, but even around other people I could feel him watching me, smiling slyly as if we shared a secret, winking at me, deliberately and blatanly looking at my legs, my breasts, saying inappropriate things to me. I remember his wife had a baby while I was working there. The child was born with Downs Syndrome and everyone was devastated for them. Not long after that he caught me alone in the office and shoved his tongue into my mouth and tried to force me down onto the desk. I got away by what we call in Ireland ‘plámás-ing’ him. Flattering him, telling him that now was not the time, empty promises designed to get him at bay. I couldn’t tell anyone because everyone felt so sorry for him, including me! I excused his behaviour by saying he was going through a tough time. But I was actually going through a really tough time too. I was extremely vulnerable. I was drinking and using drugs and ended up in a treatment centre before I was 21. That man, was not the only one who ‘took advantage’ of me but it always sticks in my head because of how well thought of he was, and how no one would ever believe he would be capable of it and because he played it off by saying things like ‘You’re making me feel this way’, as if I was responsible for his behaviour. I feel so sad for that young girl I was who felt utterly alone and powerless.

Anon Female

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I have a male coworker who calls himself my “superior” despite us having the same level position. He repeatedly makes this comment and undermines my decisions at work in front of our clients. This behavior makes me feel frustrated and honestly makes me question myself at some moments because it occurs so frequently.

Katrina B.

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I’m a paramedic and when the family comes to meet the ambulance they tend to go to the driver(male) and tell him what’s going on even though I am also there getting out of the passenger side. He would say he is not the person who needs to know and would direct them to me(female). This sometimes is a shock to people that a woman would know more than their male partner.

Katrina B.

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I worked at a sporting goods store and was the only female that worked in the hunting and fishing section. my knowledge of the equipment and other hunting related things were constantly questioned and overlooked by mainly white men. The look on their faces is priceless every time when I know something, and they weren’t expecting it. Also, when I’d answer the phone, I’d give my name and then the man on the other end of the line would interrupt me and say I needed the hunting section they must not have connected me to the right place then I had to politely inform them that I am who they needed to talk to. the tone instantly changed. I knew when I applied and got the job that this would happen but the frequency it happened was still very eye opening to me.

Jen

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I used to be a primary school teacher and was subject to workplace bullying by my (male) headteacher. He told me the boys in my class only listened to me because I was “pretty”, completely undermining my teaching ability. He always gave promotions and better roles to the male staff.

Isobel

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I was sexually assaulted (grabbed by the neck and forced to kiss him) whilst working at a bar on New Years Eve. Told my manager and she did nothing about it. The next night he came in and said ‘go fuck yourself’ when I told him I did not want to speak to him. Months past and I had gone back to university when I got a call from my mum. She told me that the same man has been given a job behind the bar. I quit.

Mari-Anne

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I started a professional training course in 2021. There was a slide on dress code. The trainers knew better than to be explicit about the length of women’s skirts but that was still the message. There was a picture of a woman in a mid thigh dress. No comment was made about it but it was clearly included as a not ok example. I bought a load of fishnet tights to wear to work. With skirts. That are mid thigh. Because women’s clothes are not the problem.

Alice

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I worked for a number of years as a psychological professional. During a period of training I had a male supervisor who had about half the years of clinical experience compared to me. Whenever I had an idea that I share you literally saw it go in one ear and out the other. Until the day he talked about it to another man. Who gave the same point of view. The male supervisor then decided it was a good idea and proceeded to explain it to me. It was as if no words had left my mouth in the 4-5 weeks before. He realised what he had done when I requested a meeting to discuss the interaction. He “changed” for a week before we were back to the mansplaining. He literally lived with the privilege of not having to think about how he came across. It makes me sad to think how many more woman he will do this to.

Lola

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(Sweden) Sexist comments and jokes at work. Once I was asked if I was single at work. When I was younger around 14 – 15, the boys in school touched me and other girls and even and some beat us.

LJ

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I haved been with my bank for over 40 years. During Covid I decided to make the account a joint one as we are both in our sixties and as I am the provider of our income I wanted to remove one worry for my husband were I to pop my clogs. I receive very little paper mail from said bank but boy does it wind me up that ever since making the account joint the letters come addressed to my husband. Presumably someone actually went to the trouble of changing this from my name to his name!