I was long-time employee at a company that has social justice as a major part of its mission. They pride themselves on being a diverse and woman-friendly workplace, especially touting their generous maternity leave package. I had a baby while working there, and a couple weeks into my maternity leave they called to tell me I was part of a round of layoffs. I’d always been marked as one of the highest performers, so it was surprising to me to be included in the layoffs. At the time, I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours at a time in weeks and was dealing with both my and my child’s health problems, so I just let it go and didn’t fight it. A month later, my old boss called me up and asked if I would take a role on the board in a volunteer capacity. The company was struggling, and apparently my long years of service made me “uniquely qualified” to fix their problems. I politely declined. My industry is small, so I’m afraid to be honest about how sexist I feel like their treatment of me was for fear of burning bridges.

My sister and I live in a gated apartment community located on top of a shopping mall. We went to buy something at the mall downstairs and when we took the elevator up to the roof where the apartment is, a guy who looked like he’s in high school or college wearing large headphones over his ears walked fast ahead of us, took his scan key and opened the gate. Seeing that he opened the door, my sister caught up to him hoping that he would hold the door for a couple of ladies. Instead, he quickly closed the door on my sister, who got stuck between the steel door and the door frame. When he saw that my sister got caught in between the door, he called out saying “I am going to get a $200 fine if I let you in!” Feeling confused, I replied back saying, “Are you serious?” not thinking he will hear me because of the headphones…but he heard and relied back saying, “Yes, you stupid bitch!” I am not sure if this was a misunderstanding or if he was being sexist. There is a sign by the gate informing residents that a fine of $200 will be issued if a shopping cart is wheeled into the apartment’s property. Who is he calling stupid? The fact that a male called us females “stupid bitch” definitely feels like sexism to me.

I used to take the train to work. One beautiful sunny Friday I was waiting for the train and a man came up behind me and put his hand up my skirt. I was so shocked but so furious that I turned around and told him what he did wasn’t okay-he mostly laughed. Seeing his laughter only made me angrier and I screamed that he needed to stay the fuck away from me. This got the attention of many people around me. An older woman around me watching the whole thing shouted to me, “You did the right thing!” The man who grabbed me started to get real nervous saying “I thought you were someone else” and the older lady helped me to report the incident. By this point I was in tears as I was having flashbacks from a previous sexual assault which included someone who I thought was a friend. The older woman just hugged me and told me I was gonna be okay-I didn’t even know her. She gave me hope that what I was doing was right. Even further, as the man who grabbed me started to flee the incident, another man who saw the event helped track him down. Seeing so many strangers on my side, an older woman and even another man and even the police who came to help really made the difference. I still haven’t been able to build the courage to get on the train again and I still get upset at what happened but knowing others were out there on my side,strangers even, has been helped me get through it. Anyone who might be afraid to report their incident, know that there are people on your side, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.I know that’s how it felt for me the first time but know that what you are doing is right.

I am Asian female. I live in NYC and have become an expert at parallel parking. However, on the rare occasion that I don’t hit it in one try, some dude would always run over to try to assist me by giving me pointers on how to operate my car, such as, “You know what’s a good little trick that could help you? You should point your back lights at the front lights of the car behind ya. That’s a little trick I use. Try it.” As if my little female brain cannot comprehend how to line up two objects.

At age 12, I had just hit puberty and didn’t wear a bra yet. I was getting on a crowded bus when I felt something sweep between my legs. I thought it was just an accident. After I got on the bus and it started moving, the man standing in front of me cupped his hand on my chest. Again, I thought it was just an accident. But he did it every time the bus stopped and started, in a subtle way so that it could seem to be an accident. I moved away and no one noticed.

I was on a school vacation in Greece. I was walking along the shores when I heard a loud guy boast to his friends, “Look at that one. I love Asian Women. Especially beautiful ones.” Then he yelled at me, “HEY HONEY, you wanna go shopping?? Look at me here! I’m a white guy!!”

When I was younger, before I could drive, I wanted to be able to run to the gym near my house so I could work out. The gym is half a mile away but I wasn’t allowed, my brother was though. I understand that my parents wanted to protect me but we live in a safe area, it wasn’t a far distance, and my brother was allowed to go when I wasn’t. They were worried that, as a girl I would get attacked, but my brother didn’t have to worry about it at all.

I had a history teacher freshman year who would always stare at the girls in his class. He showed obvious preference for the guys in the class. Whenever any of the girls expressed our dislike of him to our friends guys would say “What are you talking about? He’s the best!” Oblivious to the sexist jokes he made about girls being hysterical and the fact that he blatantly stared at (freshmen) girls asses as they walked by. The next year I was supposed to have him as my E2020 teacher and I switched before the class even started. He followed me around the hallways for a few weeks after that and made jokes about how I’d “gone to the wrong class by mistake” and “gotten lost trying to find his class” until I told him out right that I’d switched to the other class and he didn’t speak or look at me for the rest of my high school career. Good riddance, I hope the next girl he does it to reports him. I wish I saw it for what it was back then.

One day I was walking into work, wearing a dress. I was walking on the sidewalk and I passed a car one guy shouted “excuse me! Hey come here honey!” I kept a comfortable distance from the car and when I approached they said “no never mind babe, nevermind” I chose to walk away and get to work but as I walked away I heard them saying “damn shes pretty though” “very pretty” “yeah shes your kinda pretty man”. It wasn’t a compliment.

Once I was working and a customer asked me a question, while I was answering him his cousin was staring at me and saying “damn Tess… damn Tess…” over and over. I ignored him and walked forward to show him where something was, and the guy shouted in the middle of the store “DAMN TESS” I felt humiliated but I was working and couldn’t really tell him off. Later I was putting clothes away and they found me again. The guy who had asked me the question said “Hey my cousin is totally in love with you” I told my coworker what happened and she stuck close while I hid in the fitting rooms until they left the store.