When I was 18 my best friends big brothers friend raped me. When my best friend got back to the house and I told her, she said something along the lines of; “well that’s why you shouldn’t get drunk and go home with boys”. She then encouraged me to lie to the police (who had already been called), and say it hadn’t happened. Another close friend who was staying the night watched this interaction without saying a word. That night I slept in the spare room alone while my rapist slept downstairs.

In the months following, I had to look after my boyfriend who was so traumatized by MY rape that he couldn’t bear the thought of me having male friends or drinking again (because he thought that obviously I was only raped because I was drunk, and I am to blame for drinking too much). He forced me to tell him in detail what had occurred so he could ascertain “how much of a rape” it was. I felt disgusting.