The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

If you prefer to e-mail me at laura@everydaysexism.com I can upload your story for you instead. Follow us on Twitter (and submit entries by tweet) at @EverydaySexism.

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Goat

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An hour after matching with someone on a dating app, he asked for my phone number. I said I don’t give out my number until I’ve met people in real life. His response was “Really?”. He was obviously annoyed by this boundary. I gave him the Margaret Atwood quote: “Men fear being laughed at; women fear being killed”. I thought he was smart enough to understand the reasons (explicit pics, harassment, stalking, scams), and we were already communicating perfectly well through the app on our phones. We met for a date which went well until he pushed me to go into uncomfortable detail about a recent sexual assault I had experienced with another date. His response blamed me for not stopping it. I also mentioned that it happened after 15 dates which caused him to remark on the long wait for sex. I decided to go home. His parting words were “I’d ask for your phone number but I’m not going through that rigmarole again”. He called himself a feminist.

Laura

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I was sitting on a fairly empty tube. A man stood directly in front of me placing his crotch extremely close to my face. There were seats around and plenty of other places to stand but he chose to go there. I froze in panic then looked around, people were looking at me apologetically but nobody said anything. He leaned closer right before the tube doors opened so his crotch touched my nose and then ran off the train. Can’t really believe it was real.

Kristin

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I deliver pizzas for work. One time, I called a customer because I couldn’t find his entry door, so he knew I was coming and he knew I was a woman. Nevertheless or maybe because of this, he opened the door completely naked. I now sometimes wish I had called the police, but I think I didn’t because I was afraid they would play it down or simply tell me that there was nothing they could do. I told my boss when I returned to the store and he called the man, telling him how this was sexual harassment, and the man simply claimed he didn’t have time to put on clothes before opening the door.

Anoymus x

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I am 13 years old. My friend had a party on the weekend which i went to. It carried on till about nine and her dad offered to take me home. I said yes as I had known him for a long time since I was born really. I sat in the front next to him. It was just him and me in the car for a half an hour drive. He asked me if i had a boyfriend and when I said no he said I was a very pretty girl. He also said I should show a bit more thigh if I wanted to get a date, he then put his hand on my leg. I felt really uncomfortable and told him but he said I should get used to the male gaze and that if he was 20 years younger he would definitely date me. He then dropped me off but gave me a hug before I got out of the car. Made me feel scared and uncomfortable

Danielle

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I took my dad out for dinner for his birthday. At the end of the meal, I got the (male) waiter’s attention and asked for the bill. He returned to the table and presented the bill straight to my dad, then came back and offered the card reader to him too – after I asked to pay by card. My dad told him it was presumptuous to assume he was paying when it wasn’t even him who asked for the bill – he just laughed, and I didn’t leave a tip.

Anon

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When I was 19 and in nursing school on a placement in a psych hospital, on my final day I was cornered by an old male health care assistant repeatedly demanding my number and asking to take me out on dates despite me repeatedly saying “no”. At one point he even stood between me and a patient I was having a conversation with to continue demanding my phone number. My last day of this placement was spent avoiding him at all costs and running out of there when my shift ended (I didn’t have time to say goodbye to colleagues because he was briefly off the ward so I took my opportunity and got out of there). I never reported this because he was so well liked by staff and patient and I didn’t want to jeopardise his career in the UK. It was a long time ago and I don’t really remember any of the staff who worked there but his name and face have stuck with me.

Kim

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I work as an Environmental Assistant in a Govt org. One day at a meeting someone asked why we didn’t have lunch served and one guy casually said ‘As you can see we have a lady here, maybe next time she can organize’. It absolutely irked me because I was there in a professional capacity, my gender had nothing to do with it. It also gave me ‘ Women belong in the kitchen’ vibes.

Chanon

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When my stepfather died suddenly about 10 years ago, my neighbor asked me if mom my would now have to sell her house in Colorado. By raising this question, they assume that the stepfather was the “breadwinner” of the family and that my mom, a older Asian woman, does not have the financial independence or security to carry on without him.

Cami

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I sometimes walk my dogs on an old forestry rd where I never see anyone else. Usually it’s just me and my dogs, sometimes hunters drive by but they never bother me. A few weeks ago I was walking my dogs and a man turned up with two dogs. I knew he was someone who lived nearby (but he doesn’t know who I am) and I stopped and chatted with him for a moment about his dogs. After exchanging a few pleasantries I said “ok, have a nice walk” and was about to continue on my way alone when he said he would join me. He didn’t ask, he just said “oh I’ll walk back with you”. Then things started to get weird. He asked me where I was from, where I was going. Sometime ticked in my mind and I lied about both. He told me he saw my car and realized it was a chicks car because of the hair tie on the dash (wtf?) and decided to walk further down the rd. He talked about how one of his hunting dogs was a real killer. All of this didn’t really register until I was well and truly safe. Once I got back to my car he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place to which I ofc said “no thanks”. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, and now I’m afraid to walk down that rd by myself. 🙁

Charlotte

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A few weeks ago I was walking down the street in a town centre and two men walked towards me. I could feel them looking at me, and as they got closer one of them started shouting random names at me. I felt intimidated. I often ignore this type of behaviour in the belief that reacting and giving them any attention would reinforce it. But I wish that I had asked them why they think it is acceptable to shout at a woman in the street.