The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

If you prefer to e-mail me at laura@everydaysexism.com I can upload your story for you instead. Follow us on Twitter (and submit entries by tweet) at @EverydaySexism.

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Anonymous

Last year I was at a party taking care of a male classmate who was very drunk. I knew I couldn’t leave him alone because he had almost fallen out of a treehouse and into a fire pit earlier. I asked another classmate if he could grab me some food/water from a table, and immediately he looked down at his crotch and said, “I have something down here if you’re hungry.” and he and his friend just kept laughing. I didn’t tell anyone about it for months because I felt ashamed. The only funny thing about this story is my awesome friend who suggested that if he said something like that again, I could make a comment about baby carrots.

O

About this time last year, I was catcalled on a train when I was with my friend. I blamed myself because of the dress I was wearing,and I have only worn it for the first time (after that) last week. Another time when I was harassed at a party by a classmate, I thought that maybe I had done something wrong because I was wearing a crop top and shorts. I consider myself to be a feminist, but even I have to re-affirm to myself that I didn’t deserve harassment for what I was wearing.

O

I was 13/4, in a group project in French two years ago, and I was doing nearly all the work. All of a sudden while I was working, the boys in my grouo started talking about how long their dicks were. I asked them to stop and told them it was making me uncomfortable, then a boy from another group started to talk about it as well, laughing at how uncomfortable I was. It made me feel awful.

Two years before, the same boy and one of his friends (who later harassed me at a party) would drop pencils under my chair deliberately so they could look up my skirt. Let’s just say that I’m glad I will have no classes with them ever again, though I’ll have to see them when school starts again because they’re in my form class.

Courtney

I was raped when I was seven by my mothers partner.
I was molested by a boy in class in 8th grade.
I was molested by a boy when I was in 9th grade.
I was molested by a boy in 11th grade and the police sided with him because he was the president of speech and debate.
I tried to kill myself when I was 17 and was raped by the person who saved me.
I have started getting catcalled since age 13. I get comments and catcalls every time I go out side.

JB

I’m a 17 year old trans guy, and was in a psychologically and sexually abusive relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She raped me 4 times (possibly more as my head has blocked a lot of it out) and was emotionally manipulative to the point where I was self harming because of the relationship. I felt like I couldn’t talk about it because as a guy what I was going through wouldn’t be taken seriously. I was physically bigger than her and was always considered to be in a position where I could have said no. It was only since I started dating my new girlfriend that I started dealing with it. I’d had conversations with the people in my life about how trauma is less important when it comes to men because its not as common and as it is nearly always assumed that men want it, and it means they feel like they can’t say no.

Lucy

I’m a television journalist working in Asia.
I was interviewing a man today about the economic impact of Covid-19 on the food and beverage industry.
Me: Is business down?
Him: Everything goes down eventually…even my erection.

Abi

I am a proud feminist and activist, which is common knowledge at my school and among the people in my year. I often talk about feminism and the oppression of marginalised communities. Of course, I have received backlash for this, including being called a “Fem Nazi” and told that “sexism isn’t a thing anymore.” However, the experience that stands out most took place on Instagram and not in person. It was March 8th 2019 – International Women’s Day. I put a little thing on my Instagram story where people could ask me questions about feminism. At the start, I got some very interesting ones and what I believe to be genuine (e.g. why is it called feminism if it supposedly benefits men too?). The replies then became more aggressive and more statements than questions, including “Woman are the same as men” (this isn’t a typo – it is a direct quote), “We are all fine the way it is” and “There’s only two genders”. This sparked a debate about gender and how many genders there are, with many people disregarding what I was saying. Insisting that there are only two genders is transphobic and I stated this but many people seemed to be ignoring their blatant ignorance to piss me off. It didn’t just piss me off because I am activist but it also really hurt because I identify as non-binary.

Things escalated when a close friend of mine who I was out to about my gender identity, posted on her story “How many genders do you think there are?”. Every time someone replied two or something vulgar or transphobic, she would agree with them. She would disregard anyone who said more than two or something along those lines. When I asked her take it down because it was hurtful and transphobic, she argued that she was just getting peoples’ opinions, that I shouldn’t be so sensitive and ignored how invalidated it made me feel. She then went on to use her own experiences to belittle me and make me feel even more invalidated then before. This is in the past now and she has since apologised for what she said. But it made me realise that people will use sexism to piss activists off and these people are the hardest to convince otherwise – it’s like talking to a brick wall. It also made me realise that people will condone transphobia and discrimination because they think it’s a joke. I don’t know what others will think of this but I’m glad that I have shared this little chunk of my journey as a feminist.

Ellie

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve been told I don’t need to wear make up to look pretty.
My (ex) boyfriend told me once that I shouldn’t wear make up to my best friends 18th since he preferred me without and there shouldn’t be anyone else I need to impress. Why do they just assume I put make up on to look good for men?? I personally find putting on make up to be somewhat of an art form and enjoy the process, not to look good for men.

Anonymous

During P.E. after we had had our class, our (male) teacher asked the boys to stay because he wanted to know and register their names if they were interested in football and told the girls they could go! I was really angry and so were the other girls, so , they later reported it to a senior teacher but i wasn’t in them (but i hoped i was, but i didn’t have any self-confidence back then and was also new to the school, (not making an excuse but idk y i didn’t go). Nothing changed. I just wish i had asked him then and there why can’t girls participate if we are interested. unfortunately, i didn’t nor did anyone else. But after looking at this website I am so not going to be the person in the bus who looks out of the window but the one who stands up to him. I was literally going to write like 2 sentences but somehow ended up writing this instead… Thanks for reading and every woman out there: you have got the strentgh! Speak up!

I’m a weed

whenever I would walk into town on a night out there would always be a guy, a different one every time, who would say “are you alright” or “do you need any help in a bid to get closer and when i said “no thanks” id get called a bitch and other terms; even when i couldn’t help some guy with directions cause i was new to the area.