When I was 13 and was graduating middle school and getting on summerbreak, Ive always lived with my mom and siblings and this day my dad and my grandma and his husband coming visiting. My grandmas husband has always been an unpleasant man to women and children, almost everybody thought this but my dad and my grandma. But it was like this big secret that couldnt get out. He had looked at me innapropriate before, and said things like “you get prettier and prettier for everyday” and “you can come sit on my lap if you want” things that i never really liked. So we all knew to stay away kinda. I remember when i was even younger, about 10-11 that before we were going over to my grandmas house that i looked in the mirror and saw that my nipples were showing trough my dress. So i said to my mom “What if he will look at me with that dirty look now”. Back to the day were i was 13 and got on summerbreak. Everything were fine, we te cake and chatted. Then when there were time for them to leave, my dad and grandma got out to the car before my grandmas husband did, and my mom went to the restroom i think. So i was alone with him. We said our goodbyes and hugged goodbye like we usually did. Only this time he grabbed my book while doing it. It wasnt super obvious or violent, but enough for me too notice and get shocked about it. I didnt say anything and just smiled and said goodbye. When my mom later came back from the restroom I told her. I was i bit shocked and disturbed, but i was truly fine at the moment and just went on about my day. But any other time where we visited i tended to get this knott in my tummy, feeling a bit gross. I tried too keep away from him, not sitting too close too him etc. But it got the the point where i didnt really want to meet him at all. My 14 birthday came up, and i got a lot of anxiety over that i knew they would come and celebrate it with me. I wanted to meet my dad and grandma ofc, but just not him. I told my mom i didnt want too see him. At first she said “cant you just stay away from him?” but i still said i didnt want too. She listened too me and had my back to 100%, and called them to say what have happend and that my dad and grandma were invited but that i didnt want to meet him. Story short, my grandma didnt believe me. Her husband says he didnt do it. And my dad im not sure. He ended up on their side, and i broke off contact with them for many years. Anytime they tried to reach me it was either ” think about the family, we dont understand what you mean” or just straight noncense trying too pretend nothing was going on. I were so heartbroken and felt so alone, and there were times were i thought that i might have blown it out of proportion and made it worse than what it was, and that it was my fault. That i had destroyed my relationship with them. even tho i had my mom and loving people around me. I still dont have contact with my grandma or her husband (im 20 years old now) and i rarely speak to my father, since every time we do speak he disappoints me and he can never speak about what happened. Ive given him chances, but he just never changes.I was angry for so many years and im probably still a bit angry, but now i understand more about that my dad and my grandma is victims of his manipulation and sick behaviours too, and they dont know how to get out of it.(im sorry for any spelling errors).
