car

Eloise

When I was 16 or 17 I was walking late at night between North Finchley and Whetstone in north London. I shouldn’t have been out that late but my parents let me do what I want and never knew where I was. A car started tailing me. It would get really close then drive off, then come back. I couldn’t see inside and didn’t want to turn around too much as I didn’t want it to look as though I was scared, but I really was. I still think about it now, and how vulnerable I was. It went away and came back three or four times. I started running till I reached a petrol station in Whetstone. I went in and told them what was happening. They said I should wait in there with them. I waited till the night bus came then went and got on that. The whole thing was petrifying.

Alaina

I have spent a lot of time watching and reading about the different experiences of women being harassed, sexually assaulted, etc. and every time the topic is brought up I reflect on my own experiences. I am from a small town and have serious anxiety which makes it so I am rarely in public spaces alone. I have been very lucky in both my work and personal life to only really have one story that comes to mind when this topic is brought up. Moving past the fact that only one experience of harassment is “lucky” it was a day when I was 16 on and I had just parked at my work and about to head inside when I look about my car window and see 6 or 7 males walking toward me. I proceeded to lock my car doors and dial 911 with my finger over the button to call incase I needed to. As I do this these boys proceeded to come around the front of my car and started yelling things at me. I sat there with my finger over the call button and waited for them to leave. At the time I worked entirely alone, there was no one there if something worse had happened.

Laura

I’m angry enough now to do something. I’m overwhelmed by the feelings in my body, a body one too many people have thought they have the right to. A body that has endured physical and verbal intimidation and assault. I was sexually assaulted in my first year of university. I was scared but I told my lectures what had happened and nothing came of it, until after I dropped out of university for my own safety. The day after I left, they tried to organise a meeting with the perpetrator to speak of what happened and try to come to a settlement. Not action against him, no suspensions or punishment, but a chat to see how we both felt. I knew nothing would come of it and couldn’t stomach seeing him so I pushed it down and ignored it. I tried to move on but his hands on my skin and breath on my neck are feelings I can never forget. One night in particular, the feelings became too real that I took an overdose to end then for good. I came back to and realised what I’d done. After a hospital admission and antidepressants, I began to move on and started somewhere new. It felt like a memory from a previous life, I felt like I was looking back on it from an outside perspective, watching the assault happen to a body I did not own. I thought I was processing it, I felt better. Until a male friend lost his temper at me and screamed at me over the phone over something trivial. The same feeling of terror came back. I knew I should speak to someone about it. I did and it covered the wound for a while until a group of men stopped me in my car and forced their way in. I drove with my doors locked from then on. It happened again, but this time when he couldn’t get in, he beat, punched and kicked my car to vent his frustration. What would have happened if the doors were unlocked? Would I be another statistic? Would I be violated again? Why has it happened to me again? Why when I speak of it do I think people will judge the validity of my accounts based up on how pretty I am, how likely it would be for someone to attack a 6. How desperate they must’ve been. Sexism and misogyny are so ingrained within our culture that I can not even process the violence against me without blaming myself. It happens everyday. I think of it every day.

The Nameless Newton

I’m a 13 y/o trans boy. Twice in my life that on my walks, someone in a car yells at me in a masculine and conscending way (probably think i’m an adult woman, I look old for my age) I don’t know what this means, I get that feeling that these people want to rape me. Speaking of my name, I’m fickle and therefore very confused. I’ve had the names Tyler, Fredrik and Niall before, none of which i like. I like the names Evan and William but it’s hard getting accustomed to a name, I’ve chanhed my name a billion times anyway.

Alexia

I’ve just been for a run. On my way back I stopped at the shop and bought some milk. Didn’t have a bag so was carrying it. Crossed at a pedestrian crossing. The man in the car who had to stop to allow me to cross started beeping his horn at me and shouting out of his window “Can I have some milk, baby, can I have some milk?” and laughing. I looked back and stared at him with a disgusted look which made him laugh even more. Really wanted to confront him but was scared of the consequences just in case he turned nasty. Noted his registration plate but realistically am not going to report it. A women with a young girl crossed the road at the same time as me so great that a young child witnessed this behaviour too. I have noticed that I get accosted more frequently when I am in sports gear. What he said wasn’t actually offensive but I’m absolutely fuming that I have been made to feel intimidated.

Aimee

I bought a new car last year and I was so excited as it was my first brand-new car. I did my research and chose the make and model that suited my needs, but I was a bit nervous so I asked my dad to come to the garage with me to make sure everything was okay. In the end Dad stayed quiet through most of my dealings with the salesman and said afterwards that I didn’t really need him there and I did fine on my own. (He’s a great dad!) I picked up the car a few weeks later and the same salesman was there to give me the keys. He asked where my dad was and I told him Dad was at work – I was a bit confused as to why he was asking as I don’t remember them particularly hitting it off when they met before. The salesman suddenly looked worried and said he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for me to drive the car away by myself. I felt so patronised – I’ve have had my license for almost ten years and drive on my own all the time for work. I pointed out to him that I had done fine when I test-drove the car before, and he reluctantly agreed, but it really annoyed me that I had to persuade him to hand over the keys to the car I had already paid for just because I didn’t have a man there to ‘look after me’. I drove my new car out of their car park as perfectly as I could just to prove a point.

Jess

When I picked up a rental car with my boyfriend (who doesn’t drive), the valet assumed I was the passenger, explained all the controls to my partner and tried to give the keys to him.

Demelza

While crossing the road to meet a friend for lunch I continued down a small path towards the tube station. Headphones in, I jump when a man in his twenties who can’t be much older than me taps on my shoulder. Pulling out my headphones I look around to see if I’ve dropped something and he is being lovely and letting me know. No, this man proceeds to tell me I am ‘the most beautiful THING he has ever seen, that he had let me cross the road at the crossing and had HAD TO park his car, jump out and chase me down this path to tell me this.’ Thoroughly creeped out I grimace/smiled and said thank you, making to walk away. “No, no, do you have a boyfriend I want your number” he asked urgently. I replied, “I actually have a fiance, of 8 years, I’ve just come from our shared house, so yes I am with someone, and I don’t think he or I would be okay with giving you my number.” Never ready to give up our knight in rusted armour proclaimed “but he aint your husband yet is he?” He then proceeded to pull my hand/mobile which was unlocked and put his number in my phone. I did nothing, frozen in shock and confusion. He then rang his number from my phone and put himself as a contact and mine in his. He said he would text me later that day.. When horrified and seeking female support I text my friends following him sauntering back to his car. What did my friends say? “Yep, guys are getting smarter, they prank call your phones now to make sure you aren’t giving them a fake one, we just now have to have a block list as long as our arms.” This event took place, midday in the UK in London.

Demelza

Me: *Comes out of flat building at 6:45am to go to work* Builders: “All right sexy? Fancy a fuck? Me: *Walking with headphones in proceeds to ignore and walk on* Builders: Okay take it your way you fucking bitch faced cunting whore. Me in my head: ..its 6:45am. OR Me: *Waiting for bus to leave work, traffic is rammed and cars are crawling by me* Strange man in passenger seat: *Makes variety of compliments to me.* Me: *Has headphones in, ignores and continues to wait for bus.* Strange man in passenger seat: *Once car is opposite me, proceeds to lean out of said car and grab my forearm, pulling me towards the car before break in traffic and car speeds off.* Following this incident I was incredibly shaken, he had almost pulled me into his car while I just waited for a bus, that same day a random man decided to try and hug me at 6pm in the evening UK while I walked home. Not sure what was in the water that day but it was horrible.

Anna

Out running, streets aren’t so light. Car beeps for the fun of it as they drive past you. Then circles the area and comes back for another beep. When will we leave this behind?